Page 9 of The Pianist's Wife
‘Tell me everything,’ Gisele said. ‘All those letters of not really saying anything, they drove me crazy.’
‘I know, me too,’ Amira said. ‘But I don’t really have anything exciting to tell you. I wish I did, but we’ve had to be so careful sincewe moved. My father is always telling me to keep my world as small as possible, which means I barely have a life.’
Gisele’s smile hovered into a frown and she took Amira’s hands in hers. ‘I’m sorry, that was so insensitive of me. I just, well, I suppose I’d hoped that when you moved away things would be normal for you. Since no one knows about, well, you know.’
Amira sighed. ‘My father is very protective of me, and I understand why, but sometimes it’s like I can’t breathe for all his worrying. If I wasn’t volunteering at the orphanage, I’d actually go mad.’
‘I don’t know how you do it. I’d never have the patience to be with children all day,’ Gisele said. ‘But it’ll be great practice for when you’re a teacher.’
Amira didn’t tell Gisele that she very much doubted she’d ever be a teacher now. ‘I’m supposed to just play games with them and read books, but I’ve started to teach them little things as best I can. I’ve had the little ones practising the alphabet and the older ones are doing well in their reading and writing.’
‘Well, I’m sure they adore you. Younger children always flocked to you at school, and, well, in a way you must know how they feel.’
They sat for a moment, before Amira looked up at her. ‘I do. I think I feel for them in a different way to all the other volunteers.’
Gisele took her hand and squeezed it, and Amira felt a sense of comfort that she wasn’t sure she’d felt since leaving her hometown.
‘You know, I still think about your mother,’ Gisele said. ‘Sitting in your kitchen and eating her biscuits after school, they’re some of my favourite memories.’
Amira braved a smile, not wanting their conversation to be so sad. Some days she dreamed of the past and wondered how her life might have turned out if things had been different, but mostly she tried not to, because it only made her wish for what she couldn’t have.
Amira’s life might be boring but she doubted that Gisele’s was, and she wanted to live vicariously through her. She wanted to hear about all the exciting things Gisele had been doing.
‘What I’d do to come home and smell her baking one more time,’ Amira said, letting herself imagine it without being sad. ‘But what of you? I want to hear all about what you’ve been doing since you moved to Berlin.’
Gisele was suddenly biting down on her lip, as if she were fighting not to smile. ‘I’ve met a boy,’ she said, squeezing Amira’s hand again. ‘Well, a young man actually. His name is Hans.’
Amira’s heart fell at the news, wishing she was part of Gisele’s world. What she would give to be meeting boys and having fun. All the times they’d whispered about first kisses and dances, she’d imagined they’d be experiencing those firsts together. ‘Tell me all about him. Where did you meet him?’
‘Through a friend,’ she said. ‘We were at a dance and he was there, and the moment he looked at me, I just knew.’
‘Did he ask you to dance?’
‘He did, and then we danced and danced all night until the very last song.’
Amira clapped her hand over her mouth. ‘I’m so jealous! What does he look like?’
‘He’s tall, with dark-blond hair and brown eyes that I could stare into all night.’ Gisele grinned. ‘Do you remember Louis, from our class at school? Because he’s even better-looking than him.’
Amira couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to meet a young man, to have a normal life where she was allowed to go to dances and have fun, instead of hiding away at home. To meet a boy as handsome as Louis Bauer.
‘You know, he has some very handsome friends,’ Gisele said. ‘Maybe one night you could come out with us?’
Amira’s eyes met Gisele’s, and for a moment her heart fluttered in her chest as she imagined it. But at the same time she looked at Gisele’s beautifully tailored, fashionable clothes and wondered how she would ever fit in. Her father insisted on buying her whatever she needed, which had resulted in good-quality but practical clothing. She hadn’t realised quite how practical and unfashionable until she’d seen her friend, though.
‘My father would never let me.’
Gisele leaned in closer, tucking her arm through Amira’s. ‘What if he never found out? My mother knows nothing of Hans, and I have no intention of telling her until things become more serious. Even though I know she’d love him, I like having a secret from her.’ She grinned again. ‘Well, actually, I guess that means I have two secrets I’m keeping from her.’
‘She truly doesn’t know?’
‘She truly doesn’t know,’ Gisele said. ‘One of the reasons I wanted to come here was to get away from her and live my own life. I mean, I love studying music, but I love the independence more.’
Amira’s heart was fair pounding now, and a little voice in her head was becoming louder than the rational part of her brain. If Gisele could keep such things from her mother, then surely she could keep one secret from her father? She closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like to be asked to dance, to giggle with girlfriends and gossip about clothes and boys.
‘What do you say?’ Gisele asked. ‘Do you think you could come to the pictures with us one night?’
‘Yes, the pictures,’ Amira found herself saying. ‘Just something quiet, with not too many people. But I might need your help with a nice dress.’
