Page 35 of The Secret Librarian
‘You shouldn’t be here.’
Avery began picking up books and setting them up on shelves, and Camille rose to do the same. She’d been cleaning up for the past hour, determined to get her shop back in order, and she was very grateful for the help.
‘I want to be here.’
Camille sighed. ‘It’s as if you’re looking for trouble. Please, just leave me be.’
‘Are they targeting you? I know you said this kind of raid is commonplace, but to be here again the same week ...’
Camille was silent as she tried to find the right words, but Avery spoke again before she had the chance to reply.
‘I went to see the Jewish people in the square – twice in fact. I went back last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about them, even though I knew it wasn’t my business and that my superiorswould be furious at me for not keeping to myself, and ...’ Avery hesitated.
Camille stiffened. She knew what Avery was about to say. All this time she’d thought the PVDE would be her eventual downfall, yet suddenly a nosey American might be her biggest threat. The PVDE didn’t have any evidence of what she was doing – not yet – but Avery did.
‘I saw you there,’ Avery said, softly. ‘I know you’re helping them. Is that why you’re being investigated?’
Camille turned slightly so that Avery couldn’t see how much her hand was trembling, placing the book on the shelf and reaching for another. She was still shaken up about the raid, but knowing that the American had only been at the square last night because she cared gave her the most overwhelming urge to talk to someone – to tell someone the truth so she wasn’t alone in her memories. She’d spent so long alone, determined to complete what she’d set out to achieve, but knowing how easily it could all be taken away had rattled her more than she had realised.
‘There are things about me, Avery, things from my past ...’
Avery kept picking up books from the floor and shelving them, glancing up at Camille every so often, and Camille was struck by just how much empathy this woman had. She couldn’t imagine anyone else she knew in Lisbon stopping to help put her bookshop back in order. But it was then she noticed a dark bruise on Avery’s wrist.
‘How did you get that?’ Camille asked, moving closer to her.
Avery quickly pulled her arm away, her blouse covering the bruise. ‘It’s nothing.’
Camille reached out and nudged her sleeve back up, exposing the ugly purple welt.
‘Someone did this to you? Who?’
Avery sighed. ‘It seems you were right about needing to be careful, only it was another woman who grabbed me. She was looking for money or food I suppose.’
‘You were attacked?’ Camille blew out a breath. ‘After you went to the square?’
‘Yes, the first time I visited, that day we had lunch, but I’m fine now. It rattled me at the time, but I learnt my lesson and I’ll be more careful next time.’ Avery sighed. ‘There was also a man, although I didn’t catch his name, and he was passing by and intervened. I’m eternally grateful to him.’
Camille had always been a very good judge of character. And her instincts right now were to trust in Avery and her good nature.
‘Well, thank goodness for your mystery man. What do you think he was doing there?’
‘That’s the thing, he said he’d been taking some supplies to the square. I was rather touched by his kindness.’
Avery looked rattled still and Camille watched her for a moment, before saying something she had never intended on disclosing. ‘Avery, I haven’t been entirely honest with you.’ Avery stopped shelving, her hand hovering over a book as if she couldn’t move it and listen at the same time.
‘The PVDE have their suspicions about me, but nothing they can prove – yet,’ Camille said, shaking her head. ‘I have done things here they could arrest me for if they knew, things I don’t want to implicate you in, but I had another life before this. In France. A life I’m certain that no one here knows about, and I intend on keeping it that way, no matter how badly they treat me.’
Camille was torn between telling her everything and wishing she’d never started talking in the first place. There was something about Avery that reminded her what it had been like to have friends, to have a life, to not have to hide in plain sight all on her own. But there was another part that resented Avery for the life sheled, for how little risk she was taking when there was so much more she could do. ‘I’m sorry, you don’t want to hear all this. I’m fine, honestly. Thank you for helping, you certainly didn’t need to. You don’t have to stay and help.’
‘I do have to stay, Iwantto stay, but I have to ask,’ Avery said, ‘exactly what you’re doing for those people ...’
Avery was staring at her, waiting for a response, and Camille was lost for words. She was torn between telling her the truth, and lying to put an end to her questions, but in the end, she decided to question Avery instead. She needed to know whether she was just a woman feeling a moment of empathy, or someone who would do more if she could.Once upon a time, I was this girl. Until Hugo told me what he was doing, until he let me see the world he was part of and gave me the chance to do more. She could help me in ways that could change lives.
‘Avery, the work you’re doing here in Lisbon. How much do you actually think it helps your country?’
Avery looked puzzled. ‘Well, if I didn’t think it was worthwhile, if my country didn’t think it was worthwhile, I wouldn’t be here.’
‘But how much help can newspapers be? What information is actually being gleaned from those publications you’re sourcing?’
