Page 55 of The Secret Librarian
‘Goodnight, Avery,’ he said.
She wanted to scream and throw something at him, but she forced herself to stand and stay calm, to breathe through the curses mounting up in her mind.Screw you, Tom.She’d thought they’d become friends in the short time they’d known each other, and she’d never have guessed that he might have the nerve to go into her room or search through her possessions.
Avery picked the letter up then, tucking it under her arm. Camille had given her a small jar of cocoa, and she made herself a hot drink and took it to her room, closing the door behind her and curling upon her bed to read the news from home. The confrontation with Tom had rattled her, but the fact her mother had chosen to write to her made her hopeful that she might finally be missing her enough to forgive her. A letter from home was just what she needed tonight.
She put her cocoa down on the small bedside table and opened the envelope, taking out two folded pieces of paper.
Dear Avery,
I’m so sorry I haven’t written to you properly until now. I miss you so much, and I should have told you how proud I was of you before you left, because I am so incredibly proud of how much you’ve accomplished. Since you were a little girl, you worried me with your determination, but I can see that it is what has made you the confident, strong young woman you are today.
I promise to write again soon, but today I’m writing because we’ve had some sad news. Your cousin Jack arrived home today, and Avery, it’s not so good. We’re all relieved that he’s alive, but he suffered terrible injuries and he’s been in hospital in Europe until now. They patched him up as best they could over there, but I fear he’ll have to have more surgeries now that he’s home, and I only hope he can get his head in the right place. Anyway, talking about you is the only thing that’s making him smile, and I promised that he could dictate a letter to send you. So the other letter is from him, even though it’s in my handwriting.
I hope you’re staying well and not missing home too much. I love you, darling, and I can’t wait until you’re home.
From Mother.
P.S. You stay safe and make sure you come home in one piece!
Avery pressed her balled fist to her mouth as she stifled a cry. Not Jack. She couldn’t bear to think of something awful happening to Jack, of him not being able to travel like he wanted to after the war, or what it would be like for him if he couldn’t ever fly a plane again. But if he was injured, at least it meant he was alive.
She heard Tom banging around in the living room but didn’t care. He could threaten her all he wanted; nothing could shake her as much as something happening to Jack. Her fingers quivered as she opened the second letter, as she tried not to think about why her cousin couldn’t write to her himself, what sort of injuries he might have.
Dear Avery,
Well, I bet you never thought I’d have your mother write a letter for me. But I knew if I didn’t write to you, you’d only worry too much and probably want to come home, and I don’t want you to do that. You’re on your own adventure, remember? This is your chance to see the world, and I’m just grateful that you’re well away from the fighting.
I was shot in my stomach and my leg, and I have my right arm in a cast still which is why I can’t write you myself. It was touch and go there for a while, maybe it still is, and I lost a lot of blood and even sitting up in bed feels exhausting right now, but I refused to let them take my leg. We have adventures to go on, remember? That’s what’skeeping me going. Because if I don’t make it, who will keep your adventurous spirit alive?
Your mother is starting to cry now so I’m going to wrap this up. If she was the one writing she’d probably tell you that I look terrible and that she can’t imagine how things are going to turn out for me, but I made it home, Avery, and so many of the men I fought with didn’t. So I’m going to do my best to keep living, don’t you worry. Nothing is going to stop me from keeping on putting one foot in front of the other, even if I need a walking stick.
Keep having fun over there and don’t forget to write, because I have a whole lot of nothing to do and I need to hear from you.
Jack.
Avery wiped the tears from her eyes and read the letter a second time, before setting it down and forgetting all about her cocoa drink as she marched out of her bedroom, finding the living room empty and changing course. She stood outside Tom’s room and banged on the door with her fist.
Something about reading Jack’s letter had set a fire inside of her, and she wasn’t going to stand by while anyone made threats.
‘Open the door!’ she shouted, surprised at how loud her voice was.
She thumped again until he answered it, and she imagined she looked like a wild woman standing there with tears in her eyes and her face feeling like it was on fire from being so angry. But she didn’t let him get the first word in.
‘You’re right, Tom. I am working outside of the framework we were given in order to do my job to the absolute best of my ability, and because of that I’m sending material off that I don’t think anyone else would be able to source. Information that I very much think could help the Allies win this damn war, otherwise I wouldn’t be taking the risk.’
He folded his arms over his chest. ‘That doesn’t change the fact that you’re breaching protocol and that I have a duty to report it. You don’t get to make the rules, Avery. You could be putting yourself in danger and I’m only trying to protect you.’
‘Oh, spare me the righteous crap, Tom! We’re in the middle of a goddamn war, in case you hadn’t noticed. Do you think the guys in Washington have ever been in the field? Don’t you think that, after all these weeks, I know what I’m doing? I’ve figured out a way of sourcing exceptionally useful intelligence, and if you don’t like it, then how about you just keep your mouth shut and let me do my job.’
‘I think you need to take a breath.’
‘Do you want to know what I think?’ she asked, with an edge to her voice that she’d never heard before. ‘I think it’s time for you to mind your own business, and if you ever come into my room again and look through my personal things? It’ll be me writing to Kilgour aboutyouand your inappropriate behaviour. Are we clear?’
Tom looked at the ground, and Avery had never been so proud of herself.
‘We’re clear.’
She turned on her heel and stormed back to her bedroom, resisting the urge to slam her door behind her. Avery flopped down on her bed and reached for the letter, placing it over her chest, wanting Jack close to her as she shut her eyes and prayed that he would recover from his injuries. Because he was right, they had adventures to go on, and in the morning she’d write to him and tell him that she wouldn’t accept anything less than a full recovery.
