Page 75 of The Secret Librarian
Tears filled Avery’s eyes again, just when she’d thought she had none left, but she appreciated him telling her the truth.
‘I’m sorry about what happened, about William, about—’
‘Avery, we’re long past apologies,’ James said, reaching for her hand without even looking at her. He linked their fingers, his hold firm. ‘You’re alive, we’re both here now, that’s all that matters. All I care about is that you’re right here beside me, right now.’
Avery didn’t even have the words to tell him how deeply, truly sorry she was for not believing in him. She’d owed him that, and instead she’d let herself be swayed from what she’d known in her heart. ‘I can’t believe I ever doubted you.’
He pulled her against him, his arm around her shoulders as she nestled closer, placing her cheek to his chest. James was steady. He made her heart flutter at the same time as making her feel as if she’d found her way home; strong enough to protect her yet softenough to wrap his arms around her and kiss her under a street light for everyone to see. She’d fallen in love with James from the night they’d talked at the hotel, blushing under his gaze as he’d teased her for being a librarian, only she hadn’t wanted to admit it.
‘Camille had every reason to suspect me,’ he said. ‘I was feeding William information about the Allies; it’s why I had to leave Lisbon for a while, it was all part of my ruse to draw William in. I needed him to believe that I was playing the same game as he was, that I was prepared to trade information for my own personal gain. So she wasn’t wrong.’
‘I wish you could have told me, that I’d known something about what you were doing.’
‘So do I, but I couldn’t tell anyone, Avery. I’ve been closing in on him for months, it’s why I was sent to Lisbon in the first place.’ He sighed. ‘It’s been a long time waiting him out. He was clever, I’ll give him that, but we knew someone was betraying us and it only took so long for me to put two and two together.’
‘How did you figure out it was him? I mean, before tonight, before he tried to ...’ Her voice trailed off. She didn’t even want to talk about what had almost happened to her, whathadhappened to Camille.
‘I fed him false information,’ he said. ‘Then, just as expected, he told his Nazi friends.’
She was silent as she considered what he’d just told her, tilting her head to look up at him. ‘James, do you think we’re going to win this war?’
‘Yes,’ he said, without hesitation. ‘If you’d asked me six months ago, I might have given you a different answer. But yes, Avery, I very much think we’re going to win this war.’
‘And William?’ she asked, trying to push the thoughts of his crumpled body on the floor outside the hotel room from her mind,hating that she’d been so close to doing something she would regret earlier that night, wishing she’d never gone to his room.
‘It’s been taken care of. That’s all you have to know.’
Avery glanced over at Camille, who still had her eyes shut, and she was thankful she’d passed out before James had pulled the bullet from her side. But she was worried that Camille might not wake up at all, and that she might never look into her beautiful blue eyes or feel the warmth of her smile ever again. Avery couldn’t imagine never walking into the bookshop again, or how she’d even stay in Lisbon if Camille didn’t make it.
‘How about you get some rest,’ James said. ‘I’ll keep an eye on Camille.’
She wanted to resist, but she was so desperately tired, and as James’s fingers stroked back and forth against her skin, Avery couldn’t help but shut her eyes.Please be alive when I wake up, Camille. It’s not your time to go yet, you have to stay alive.
‘In the morning I’ll find her the painkillers and antibiotics she needs,’ James murmured, as Avery pressed herself against him and finally drifted off to sleep. ‘We just have to pray that she wakes up.’
Chapter Twenty-Five
Avery
Avery walked into the bookshop, trying not to think about it being the last time she’d ever do so. She’d been overwhelmed with emotion all morning, but with only a few hours left on Portuguese soil, she was trying to tell herself to soak up every last second. She could collapse later, when she was on the dreaded plane back to New York.
‘Avery?’
Her face broke out into a smile as Camille called her name. Avery hurried towards her, not wanting Camille to have to move. She was still slower than usual after what had happened a month ago, but one thing that had never changed was her beautiful smile that still managed to light up the shop.
‘I was worried you’d left without saying goodbye.’
‘Never,’ Avery said as she wrapped her arms around Camille. ‘I could never leave without saying goodbye to you.’
They held on for longer than usual; the kind of tight, heartfelt hug that was reserved for loved ones. When they finally let go of each other, Avery found herself brushing away tears.
‘I can’t believe they’re sending you home,’ Camille said.
‘It didn’t matter what I said, after everything that’s happened, they wanted me back. I have to go to Washington for a full debrief,’ she said. ‘But Tom is staying on for now, and he knows you’re the best little bookshop in Lisbon.’
‘It’s not going to be the same without you here, Avery.’
She knew exactly how Camille felt, because it wasn’t going to be the same for her either.
