Page 27 of Yours
So they both didn’t spend the whole date worrying.
Going back to Scott, I had to shake my head.
Do you think it would be okay if I said conversation?
How they could be so similar and refuse to see it was beyond me. As I texted him back, I just hoped we were all on the same page. If Scott wanted to talk to Ryan by himself, or wasn’t ready to talk at all, it could get difficult.
Yes, as long as you’re ready. I think conversations would be a good thing. If we do any more than kiss it will be obvious something is up. We’ll either look awkward because we’re overthinking it or he’ll think you’re not into it.
I was probably pushing him. But it seemed to be what he wanted, so I didn’t feel too badly. He’d spent the last week debating what to do. With the first date ending up going so well, I thought it’d given him the little nudge he needed to take things to the next level.
Scott texted back immediately as I took a sip of coffee and broke off a piece of muffin. If I didn’t pay attention I’d have to leave for work without getting any breakfast at all, and signing for a living didn’t leave me a lot of time to eat on the job.
Do you think I’m ready?
I had to laugh. Luckily, he kept going before I could tease him about his questions again.
I don’t want to start things on a lie. That never works.
I had a feeling he’d been down that road before. Scott wasn’t as forthcoming as Ryan was with details of his past. But from what he’d said, guys hadn’t reacted well to a big, handsome guy like Scott being a less than aggressive lover.
Swallowing more coffee, I thought about how to respond.
I think that means you’re ready. Only you know though. But wanting to make sure you start things off with us, especially Ryan, on the right foot feels like the right decision.
My mother’s voice was loud in my head. I didn’t think I was pushing him or “outing him” as she’d said, but I couldn’t tell anymore. I was too close to them both to make a strictly rational choice. I wanted to see them both happy and really talking to each other, but it had to be on their schedule and it wouldn’t be over rushed text messages. The time I had to talk was rapidly dwindling so I had to wrap it up.
Going back to Ryan, I wanted to give him a hug but a few words would have to do.
I have to get ready for work but why don’t you go back to sleep for a bit, sexy? I have a feeling you’ve been up thinking about this for a while. We’ll talk when I get over there later but I don’t want you to worry.
Switching over to Scott, I tried to give him the same instructions.
How early did you wake up? And no answering questions with questions, handsome. I want you to get more rest later. You don’t want to be tired when I get there do you?
I wanted to make sure they wouldn’t worry all day but I had a feeling it wouldn’t be possible. As I cleaned up, they texted back with silly excuses about how early they got up. Giving them both instructions to go back to bed, I sent them one final matching text.
It’s going to be fine. He’s your best friend and that’s not going to change.
****
People had told me before that my job had to be easy. But they’d never tried standing quietly for hours and waving their arms around the whole time. Even with breaks, acting as a sign language interpreter could be exhausting. As I headed over to Scott and Ryan’s place, I was grateful that it’d only been for a couple of hours.
I had a feeling I was going to need my energy. I just wished I knew if it was going to be for passion or for endless awkward silence. With my guys, it could go either way.
I’d texted them on my breaks. Thankfully, they’d both gone back to bed for a while and the day hadn’t been too strained. They seemed to have stayed busy running errands and cleaning the house. It sounded like they weren’t stress eaters but stress cleaners.
Which might be helpful in the long run. With three people in a relationship I knew things wouldn’t always be smooth sailing, but it would be easy to see when one of them was upset. I’d just have to watch out for someone obsessively cleaning. Like what Scott had done to the kitchen and Ryan had evidently done to the bathroom.
They were each convinced the other had no idea they were stressed because they’d both used me as an excuse for the impromptu scrubbing.
I just wished I knew that I was doing the right thing, and that I hadn’t pushed them. I’d made it clear that we couldn’t go very far sexually without having some long conversations but I’d also said I’d wait. I’d spelled that out to each of them several times over the last week when we’d been talking and texting.
The more logical side of my brain kept pointing out that they’d had plenty of time to walk away and they’d initiated a lot of the conversation. It’d also seemed like they’d been ready to take the next steps with or without me because they’d responded too perfectly that first night at the bar for it to have been something they were completely ignoring all along.
As I parked outside of their building, I leaned back in the seat and tried to picture what would happen. Neither were drama queens but they were the type to get easily hurt and try not to show it. If the talk went badly it could change things for us and for them.
I didn’t want to change their relationship…not really…I wanted to add to their friendship, not tear it apart.
