Page 30 of Yours
Trying not to chuckle again, Dare sat up straighter and gave us both a long look. “You both liked Ian because he was more take-charge and he didn’t make you be the first to initiate things, right?”
I could only assume by Dare’s smile that we’d both nodded again, but I didn’t look. “When you’re first trying to come out and understanding what you like and who you are, that can be easier. But once things got started, it went beyond that because Ian didn’t just like being in charge, he got off on it.”
It felt like I was missing something from Dare’s explanation. Something obvious, by the look on his face.
We’d both dated Ian.
He’d gotten off on the control.
We’d both dated Ian.
Ohh.
I glanced over at Ryan who had the same look on his face. Embarrassment mixed with feeling stupid for having missed the obvious. “When you first said you’d been seeing him too I was worried that he’d told you about me. I didn’t even think to ask or even wonder if he’d done the same…stuff with you. I was just relieved you didn’t seem to know anything about us.”
Ryan nodded and leaned back against the couch for the first time. “Same.”
Dare squeezed our hands again. “I’m just going to spell this out so there’s no question later. You both liked him because he was evidently a hot little twink who got off on telling two sexy and submissive jocks what to do in the bedroom. Are we on the same page?”
Before he’d even gotten halfway through his speech, I’d closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the couch. Mumbling a low, “Yes,” I tried to sound somewhat in control of the situation. I mostly just wanted to hide under the couch.
Dare had the right idea when he’d sat on our laps.
Oh.
“Ryan told you too.”
I opened my eyes to see Dare nodding, now looking more reserved. “Yes, but it was clear you both wanted to keep it quiet, so I respected your privacy. But we need to be able to talk about these things in the future so it doesn’t build up and get…difficult.”
“So we’re not putting you in the middle.” Ryan’s voice seemed less stressed and as he spoke, his fingers started caressing mine.
“That would be helpful too.” Dare seemed to relax when he realized we weren’t upset.
How could we be? He’d done his best to keep our secrets and find a way to bring everything out into the open. “We put you in a weird spot.”
“Kind of, but I was more worried about you two.” Dare took his free hand and reached over to touch my cheek, then Ryan’s. “You were so nervous about the other finding out that you never stopped to see the obvious. You both want to submit and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
I was feeling oddly frustrated. I’d built it up so big in my head that the simple reality was almost a letdown. Not that I’d wanted the crazy argument or drama, but it’d seemed so real it was hard to adjust to.
“Just because there’s nothing wrong with it doesn’t mean people are rational. It also doesn’t mean we wouldn’t react badly when it all came out.” I turned to Ryan. “I knew no matter how you felt about it you wouldn’t think I was weird or wrong.” I glanced back to Dare. “You didn’t have that reassurance of how we’d react. We could have easily lost it over you knowing but not telling us.”
Dare shrugged and nodded. “Yes, but I’ve gotten to know you both pretty well over the last week, and I didn’t think you’d be angry. You’re so understanding together that I had a feeling you’d extend at least some of that to me.” He leaned over and kissed both our cheeks again. “You both worry but always see the good in the other.”
I felt like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but there were too many questions running around in my head for me to actually relax. Turning to Ryan, I tried to sort through and see what I should ask first. “Did you know right away with Ian?”
Dare started caressing our fingers with his and just listened. If he had any reservations about hearing about a past lover, I couldn’t see it in his face or feel it in his body.
Ryan shrugged but wasn’t surprised by the question. He probably had a lot too. “No. I knew something was different, but to begin with, I was focused on the whole gay thing. I knew pretty early girls weren’t as fascinating to me as they were to most of the other guys, but I was still in fairly strong denial when Ian approached me after practice.”
“Yeah, that’s basically what happened with me. He met me outside the locker room right after practice one day and said we needed to talk. I thought it was about the history project we’d been assigned, but he had something else in mind.” I smiled at the memory. I’d been horrified that he’d figured out my secret, but he hadn’t wanted to out me, he’d just wanted to see if I was curious enough to explore things with him.
Dare sighed dramatically. “I bet you two were so hot in your football gear…all sweaty and sexy. He must have had a thing for bigger guys.”
Ryan smiled. “Probably, and looking back, he knew way too many guys on the football team for a gay twink in the drama club. Even for a school with a strict zero-tolerance policy for bullying.”
Oh. Then something occurred to me. “He knew the assistant coach on a first-name basis too.”
They both just looked at me with their mouths open. “I’m not saying they did anything, but the assistant coach was hot and Ian kept calling him Allen instead of Coach James like the rest of us did.”
