Page 24 of Becoming the Owners
It worked for them but it’d never be enough for me, which was why I’d been very glad to see that my birdie was such a sensual and sexual creature.
“That would drive me nuts. Just to let you know.” His flat answer and the way he’d immediately shaken his head had me wanting to chuckle.
“Everyone needs different things, but I think you’d like it more if I had you kneeling between my feet, possibly restrained in some way, while we watched a movie or I worked.” His eyes sparked as he thought about that idea and glanced down at the floor in front of me.
When the idea seemed to intrigue him and not worry him, I continued teasing out the fantasy. “You’d have to be still and quiet, but it would be more intimate and you’d have to work at relaxing, which is something you don’t seem to do very well.”
That had him flashing me a grin as he shrugged. “Everyone has their strengths.”
The way he’d basically parroted my words back at me had me grinning.
“I think that might be more of a weakness, pretty bird.” As he scoffed, I ignored his drama. “But there are a lot of different ways to give you a taste of submission. I just need to know how to approach our scene today since it’s your first.”
He was quiet for longer than usual before he let out a huff. “Okay, I’m just going to say this flat out since I don’t know another way to approach it. I don’t want to try something completely nonsexual. That feels like…I don’t know…but it feels like that would require more trust than we’ve had time to develop. Fuck, that’s not what I mean, but—”
“Stop.” I’d never seen my pretty bird so flustered but we needed to fix it. When his frustrated rambling came to a halt, I tried to calm some of his fears. “I think that’s perfectly rational for where we are and what you’re comfortable with.”
Sharing his body…easy…sharing his mind…a fuck-ton harder.
“If I’m reading this correctly, you’re more comfortable with something sexual because the rest of the nonsexual stuff feels more personal to you. Is that a good way to explain it?” He seemed to be waiting for me to judge or tell him off because it took a few long moments before he nodded.
“Yes.”
That was it.
“So we approach the scene from that angle and we work on helping you find the right headspace in a way you’re comfortable with.” No shrink-type shit until we knew each other better…got it. “Was there something you saw or something we’ve talked about that you were curious about?”
I wanted him to see that I wasn’t going anywhere and that I wasn’t using him as some kind of sex toy…but I was having to rearrange the options in my head.
He was back to being too quiet, but after a bit, he seemed to realize he was going to have to answer if we were going to keep going. “The flogger. You talked about that and I looked it up online.”
Okay, that was a great option actually.
“There are a lot of different ways to make it feel, so I’m just going to ask a few questions to get a handle on what you like, okay?” My pretty bird’s ability to trust seemed slightly broken, so I wasn’t going to assume I could ask anything.
“Sure, that makes sense.” His stress levels seemed to have gone back down again because he was relaxed and as he shifted, one leg stretched out toward me.
“Do you know if you like a bit of pain when you have sex? For example, being pinched or even just being spanked a few times might’ve been fun. Was there anything like that?” If he didn’t know, we could proceed with caution, but I was hoping we’d have a clear starting point.
He nodded.
Thank god.
“Yeah, I don’t mind a bit of pain with the right partner.” The answer was slightly vague, but I was glad I wasn’t going to surprise him.
“Alright, let’s try that, then.” Raising one eyebrow, I gave him a stern look that had him wanting to snicker. “What do you say if something happens that you don’t like or you’re not comfortable with?”
His sexy smirk had me wanting to do wicked things to him, but I behaved as he answered sweetly. “I say yellow or red.”
“Such a smart, pretty bird.” That chased the last of his nerves away and he glared at me as I chuckled. “A very cheeky bird too.”
After a moment, he seemed to remember that it might be in his best interest to behave because he bit back a retort that I knew I would’ve loved to hear. He wasn’t quite at the “Yes, Sir” or “Yes, Master” level of acceptance, but he dipped his head in a nod, which was honestly a lot for the drama queen.
“So for this scene, what I’m hearing from you is that you’re okay with being naked if that’s what I ask for, you don’t want this to be pushed into the more personal feeling types of submission, and you want to explore the flogger.” Giving him a moment, I studied his face. “Is that correct?”
He swallowed like he was forcing down nerves that had taken root in his throat, but it didn’t take long for him to nod and find his voice. “Yes, and I know you originally talked about not touching me, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more I want to make sure we connect physically in some way, even though I know why you don’t want to take it too far.”
I hoped he understood, but either way, I was proud of him. “Thank you for explaining what you want and making that clear. I appreciate it and it makes me very proud to know that you’re taking this seriously even though it’s new for you.”
