Page 30 of Winter's Heart
“No,” sobbed Nikki.“No, no.”Her heart shattered into a thousand pieces.She curled into the fetal position in the passenger seat and sobbed like a hysterical child.
Sobbed because Jacob might be lying there hurt and she couldn’t help him.
Sobbed because he might even die.
Sobbed because she should’ve told him how she felt about him.She was in love with him.
Sobbed because Russell was right.
But he didn’t know one vital detail.
She couldn’t do this without Jacob.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
JACOB WRIGGLED A little lower on the hospital bed, trying to get comfortable against the pile of pillows behind him, but to no avail.His leg ached with a dull throb that permeated every single thought, making it hard to concentrate on anything else, and he wondered whether he should reconsider his choice to only take the bare minimum of the drugs the nurse had offered.He’d wanted to stay alert, wanted to be awake when Nikki arrived.But it was after dinner already, and he worried that perhaps she wasn’t coming after all.
He wriggled again, the thick bandages around his thigh making it hard to find the right position.A sharp pain shot down to his toes, and he let out a hiss of pain.A surgeon had operated on his leg early this morning, stitching him up and declaring him to be one lucky man.This was the second time he’d been badly injured, and this bullet wound was worse than the knife slash to his arm that he’d received while apprehending a dealer in the back streets of Luleå a few years ago.Ironically, that offender had been aiming to kill him, fueled by a drug-induced haze, and Jacob had been forced to use a taser to subdue the guy.Whereas Miller hadn’t been trying to kill him, not really.
He could still see Miller’s face in the few seconds after the gunshot had resounded through the quiet street.She’d gone as white as a sheet, her eyes widening in alarm as realization hit her and she saw the blood streaming from the wound in his thigh.She hadn’t meant to shoot him; hadn’t wanted to shoot him.She’d just been doing her job, and he’d gotten in her way.But she’d never intended to use her weapon.Jacob had dragged her to the ground, and they’d wrestled over and over, and the gun had gone off accidentally.They’d both just been doing their jobs.Hers had been to stop him at all costs.His had been to protect Nikki at all costs.He’d already accepted that fate.And he’d do it again in a heartbeat.Because he’d kept his promise; he’d protected Nikki, no matter what.He hadn’t failed her, like he had Tristan.
“It’s OK,” he’d told her, even as he’d stifled a scream when she’d rolled him over in the middle of the road and applied pressure to his wound, yelling for someone to call an ambulance.
But he knew it wasn’t okay, not for her.She’d failed; had let one of her detainees escape and wounded the other.A terrible result for her and for the FBI.She may lose her job over this, and even if she didn’t, he could just imagine the kinds of disciplinary measures they might apply, the amount of paperwork and red tape she’d have to wade through.Especially if Nikki had carried out her task.He was still waiting to hear the outcome of whether her video linkup had even worked.And if it had, had her testimony made any difference?
Miller had hovered beside the ambulance as they’d loaded him in, watching him with haunted eyes.At the last second, she’d reached out and grabbed his hand tight, and said, “I’m sorry.For everything.”
“I know,” he’d replied.She was a smart lady and was probably just coming to realize the extent of the mission she’d been duped into, wondering if she should’ve done something differently.It was a shame.He liked Miller and would’ve been glad to work alongside her any day of the week if only things had been different.
Jacob had been reunited with his cell phone after he’d recovered from surgery, and Mårten had called him an hour ago.It’d been so good to hear his voice; Mårten had been worried sick at Jacob’s lack of communication over the past week and a half, and had even been considering booking a ticket over to the US to come find him.Jacob knew that Mårten’s worry would be because he felt responsible, since he’d actively participated in Jacob’s hair-brained scheme to bring him his passport so he could board that aircraft.
His partner’s first concern had been about Jacob’s physical state, but Jacob had assured him the bullet had penetrated his upper thigh, missing the bone and vital arteries, and while it was painful and would require a few months of rehab, that he would be fighting fit again soon.Once he’d reassured Mårten, Jacob had to cajole him into revealing how his bosses were feeling about his disappearance back in Sweden.Begrudgingly, Mårten had told him that Rydberg was fuming about Jacob’s wild and reckless behavior, and could barely believe he had the audacity to smuggle himself aboard a US military aircraft and then get caught up in some dodgy FBI operation.Jacob could hear in Mårten’s voice that he was deeply disturbed by the repercussions Jacob might face once he returned home.Mårten was yet to hear what the deputy commissioner thought about Jacob’s vanishing act, as he’d headed back to Västernorrland main headquarters down in Sundsvall.But it took little imagination to know that he would be coldly furious, to say the least.It would reflect badly on him that the officer he’d hand-picked for this mission had gone rogue.It was probably the justification Runar Staaf needed to get rid of Jacob from the force once and for all.
Jacob had been expecting nothing less, but his heart still sank as Mårten confirmed his worst fears.He talked for a few more minutes with Mårten, hoping to reassure him he would be back in Sweden soon, once they cleared him to fly, and then he could defend his actions.But after the phone call ended, he was left wondering if Chief Rydberg was going to be ordered to sack him when he got home, no matter what Jacob said.Which was possibly why Mårten was sounding so jittery; Mårten didn’t want to lose Jacob as a partner.And Jacob didn’t want to jeopardize that partnership either.But he’d always known getting on that flight might be a one-way ticket.He’d accepted that risk, and now he may well have to live with his decision.
Maybe he needed to become more proactive about the whole thing.If he was going to be sacked anyway, maybe he should quit while he was ahead.Stay in Seattle.A few ideas had been floating around in his head over the past few days, and all of them centered on a petite blonde with the biggest, most beautiful blue eyes he’d ever seen.Centered on how she made him feel, and how quickly he’d come to realize that he didn’t want to live a life without her in it.
But then… Well, that’s when things became blurry.It seemed unlikely that the Seattle police would take him on if he were dishonorably discharged from the Swedish force.And he didn’t know what he would do if he couldn’t be a cop.A few vague options tumbled around in his head, but none of them appeared likely to come to fruition.Which left him with the question: would he be happy with a normal nine-to-five job just so he could be with Nikki?
Before he could answer that, however, the door to his room opened and three men stepped in, shutting it silently behind them.Jacob went to sit up higher in the bed then winced as pain speared through him.One man peeled away to the right, positioning himself to the side of the window, giving him a view of the entire front of the building and the parking lot below, which he slowly perused.The second put his back to the door and stood at attention, his eyes never leaving Jacob’s face.Which left the third, a tall man with a sharp beak of a nose and an even sharper gaze, who came to stand at the end of Jacob’s bed.
No one spoke.But Jacob didn’t need to ask; he already knew who these guys were.The FBI.Only this time they were the real deal.
“Mr.Utsi,” the guy at the end of his bed said in a clipped tone with a slight accent Jacob couldn’t place.“Or should I say, Police Inspector Utsi?”He tilted his head to the side and considered Jacob.
Faan.He knew they’d figure it out eventually.Jacob kept his mouth firmly shut.
The man took his silence as answer enough and went on.“I am Ronald Studebäcker.The director of the FBI.”Jacob should’ve recognized that accent.With a name like that, this man had German heritage.“I want to personally apologize to you.We have it on good authority that Dr.Winter shall be here soon, but I can’t stay so I hope you will pass on my apologies to her from me.”
Jacob inclined his head slowly, not trusting himself to speak.There were so many warring emotions going on inside his chest that he didn’t know which one to dissect first.Uppermost was anger—he wanted to give this fellow a piece of his mind.Next was disappointment; this director had so little control over his own agents he’d allowed possible corruption to stain his agency.He was also somewhat wary; was he about to land in a deep pile of shit?The FBI probably had the power to make him disappear if they wanted to.If they decided to cover this whole thing up so that he and Nikki couldn’t cause a scandal, then there was nothing he could do about it.But he took it as a good sign that this man had acknowledged Nikki’s existence and told him she was on her way, so perhaps they would be safe after all.And lastly…well…okay, maybe he was also a little in awe.This was the actual director of the FBI, come to apologize in person.The idea was freaking him out.
He already knew Nikki was en route—she’d phoned him using Russell’s cell—but he wished she were here to see this.It might go some way to compensate for everything they’d been through.He couldn’t wait to hear how the director justified his team’s actions.How was he going to explain away what’d happened to Nikki and himself?
“I have only been informed of Supervisory Special Agent Linstead team’s…behavior, in the past few hours.”The Director tapped a finger distractedly on the small table at the end of the hospital bed, perhaps the only sign that he might be unsettled by what he had to say.“I was under the impression that Linstead and his team were on protection duty, keeping you safe from a direct and immediate threat.”
Which was only half right, Jacob thought.But he merely lifted his chin, indicating that Studebäcker should continue.
“What I didn’t realize was that Linstead had an ulterior motive.Linstead asked for this mission personally, which perhaps should’ve raised a red flag.But at the time no one bothered to question him.”Studebäcker looked out the window for a second before collecting himself.“He was supposed to keep Dr.Winter under house guard and make sure she remained safe so that he could then escort her to the Supreme Court in Oslo to testify.The first I heard that this hadn’t occurred was when the media reported a hundred or so people had converged on your home and shots were fired in the street.”Studebäcker focused his intense gaze on Jacob, and Jacob wondered how it must’ve felt, those initial few seconds when the director knew something had gone terribly wrong with one of his operations.Had his stomach tied in knots and had he slammed his fist down on his deck in anger?Nothing showed on the director’s expressionless face, however, and Jacob was left to admire the man’s steely reserve.
