Page 64 of Reforming Lord Ragsdale
Oh, drat and bother, thought Lord Ragsdale wearily.Does this mean I will actually have to make good on my promise and send this useless fribble into the army? I feel sorry for our side already.He twisted around to look at his American relative, who was still standing by the door. “Well, sit down, lad, sit down where I can see you, and tell me the whole sordid tale.”
Robert sat next to him, which Lord Ragsdale thought a bold piece of impertinence, considering the cloud of ruin that hung over him. He continued to smile with an expression that Lord Ragsdale could only call cherubic. His eyes were even a little dreamy.
“John, it was the most magnificent opportunity, and I could not resist. I tried, though, I really did. Imagine, if you will, all those men in each hall and quad. It was, it was. . .” Robert raised his hands helplessly. “Words fail me,” he concluded in a modest tone.
“They don’t fail me!” said the warden, pointing his finger at Robert Claridge. “He organized what he called a floating poker game that traveled from college to college, until the entire university was involved. It was scandalous!”
“The whole university?” Lord Ragsdale asked, his voice an octave higher than usual. “Even those tight rumps at All Souls?”
“Oh, especially them,” Robert said, warming to his subject. “I think they were dashed grateful to be asked to join in the fun.” He cast a kindly glance at the warden, who wasturning whiter by the second. “Really, I think they ought to get out more, sir.”
The warden leaped to his feet, stabbed the air with his finger, then sank into his chair again, a much older man. Emma snatched up the ships’ rosters and began to fan him, crooning little nonsensicals until he regained his color and waved her away.
“You should know there were vast sums involved,” he concluded, enunciating carefully.
Lord Ragsdale sighed. “I was almost certain there were, sir.” He fixed his blurry eye on his cousin. “What do you have to say?”
“Only that it will never happen again.”
Lord Ragsdale and the warden sighed in unison and then indulged in a hearty bout of silence, which was broken at last by Robert.
“I suppose you do not wish me to continue at Brasenose,” he said to the warden, his tone hopeful.
“Most emphatically not,” the warden stated. “We will be lucky if anyone decides to study again before the end of term.” He appealed to Lord Ragsdale. “And now, my lord, what are you going to do with this worthless bit of pond water?”
By the eternal, I wish you would stop grinning in that idiotic fashion, Lord Ragsdale thought, looking at his cousin. “I will think of something terrible,” he told the warden. “It will probably be so bad that it will even eclipse the naked men and the circus.”
The warden waited expectantly, but Lord Ragsdale only smiled and rose to his feet. “Thank you so much for bringing him here in person, sir,” he said.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” the warden replied. “I would not for a minute wish this American on an unsuspecting population!”
Lord Ragsdale nodded. “I share your concern. I trust we will meet again in the future under more kindly conditions.”
The warden bowed and moved purposefully to the door, which opened as if by magic. Lasker, his face utterly unreadable, stood there to usher him out. The warden looked back at Robert and shuddered, then delivered his parting shot.
“We will not meet again, my lord. Should you, by some grave mischance, ever find a consenting female, marry, and reproduce yourself, do not send your offspring within a mile or two of Oxford.”
Lord Ragsdale took it all in and managed to avoid catching Emma’s eye.If I look at you, I am doomed, he thought. “Very well, warden, very well,” he said, his voice contrite and almost without a quaver. “The lady I am contemplating an alliance with comes from a Cambridge family, so we need not ever trouble you again.” He looked at Lasker, who held the door for the warden. “Lasker, because the warden is still so upset with us, you have my permission to slam the door on your way out. Ah. Excellent.”
How I wish I could laugh, he thought after the slam had finished reverberating throughout the main floor. He turned instead to Robert, then sat down.
“Now that I am seated, you can tell me the total of your losses.” He glanced at Emma. “I cannot tell you how delighted I am to have a problem that I can solve merely by throwing money at it. This will be close to a pleasure, Robert.”
It was Robert’s turn to stare at him. “Cousin, you have changed,” he exclaimed.
“I suppose I have,” Lord Ragsdale agreed, pleasantly surprised that someone noticed. “Come on, tell me what I am to pay, and to whom.”
Robert pursed his lips and perused the carpet for some time, as though seeking guidance. When he looked up, he still had that silly grin on his face.It’s entirely possible that I could throttle him yet, Lord Ragsdale thought.I wish he would not chortle over my upcoming losses.
“Cousin, I think you do not perfectly understand the situation,” Robert began, choosing his words carefully.
“Oh, no?” Lord Ragsdale asked.
“No, sir, you do not.” Robert leaned forward and looked around as though the warden were within ten or twelve blocks. “I won this time.” He looked at Emma. “Seven thousand pounds, Emma!”
Lord Ragsdale closed his eye. Emma gasped and sank down beside him on the sofa. He reached over and patted her. “Tell me I heard what I heard, Emma. My eyes are gone, my hearing is going. Who knows what will go next?”
“You heard me,” Robert insisted. “I won fair and square.” He opened his blue eyes wider. “Of course, I don’t think that Brits are any great shakes at poker yet. It may take some time.” He pulled up a chair closer to the sofa. “That’s what I want to talk to you about.”
