Page 22 of Shadows of the Past
I think I forgot to breathe, hearing the venom in his voice, but something warm settles in my chest.
Suddenly, his hand tightens painfully, and he turns his gaze to me. The man looking back at me now isn’t the same one who distracted me to administer an injection I was terrified of. It’s the face of a man who is hollow inside.
“Andyou, when I tell you to do something, you will do it. If I tell you to kneel beside the table, you will. If I tell you to eat frommy lap, you will. If I fucking tell you to lick this knife, you will do what you’re told. Understood?”
There’s such malice in his tone that I struggle to keep tears from welling up in my eyes. I know he has to do this, to show them I’m nothing to him, just a new toy he currently wants close, but the way he has to denigrate me to maintain his image makes my stomach churn.
I force myself not to cry and slowly sit back down. My appetite is almost nonexistent, but I remind myself I need strength to escape from here. Because now, more than ever, it is clear that I need to get out.
I try not to look up from my plate too often, and the conversation at the table turns to some ports and missing cargo.
I don’t know if that cargo represents other girls like me or something else, but I attempt to get a read on the people who were sure to make my life a nightmare if the man to my left hadn’t intervened.
The old man is clearly in charge. You can tell by his position at the table and how everyone’s tone becomes calmer and more respectful when speaking to him.
Immediately to his right is Maksim, and to his left is the blond individual, who holds a blood-soaked napkin to his hand.
One day, I’ll take your eyes out. I swear it, cabrón.
The rest of the meal unfolds extremely slowly, but eventually, Maksim stands up from his seat.
“Let’s go.”
Two words. One order. And in that moment, I feel a surge of anger, wanting to do the same to him. Rationally, I understand why he talks to me like this, as if I were his pet, but emotionally, it hurts.
As we leave the room, I notice something in his energy transform; it becomes calmer, more collected. I don’t dare say anything to him because all that would come out of my mouth is venom.
I don’t know how I’ll survive in this house, being treated like this in public without having any escape. I’m on the verge of becoming just like that wildcat he keeps calling me.
You can’t take everyone’s eyes out, Julia, por Dios!
No, but I can try.I close my eyes as I walk beside Maksim, feeling how I’m almost trembling with nerves and frustration.
I’ve never been silent, never been the submissive type. Yet over the past few days, I’ve begged more than I have in my whole life. And even though I know why I do it, I wish I could be myself without repercussions. I had to bite my tongue several times during breakfast to not respond to insensitive remarks from some of the soldiers at the table.
Trapped in the chaos in my head, I feel something touch my pinky finger.
When I look down, I see our fingers intertwined, and without realizing it, I frown at his gesture.
“I’m sorry.”
It’s a whisper I would have missed if I weren’t physically inches away from him. And though I want to yell at him for how he treated me back there, I can’t. I know it’s for my own good. And in this moment, with our fingers intertwined, some of my earlier frustration dissipates.
Something creates a turmoil in my stomach, and my only thought is that even their food doesn’t agree with me. Because it must be the food. Not his gesture.
Right. Of course it’s the food.
“I know you have to do this, but I can’t help feeling angry about it,” I whisper back.
“I understand, but all of this is for your safety.”
My safety. I’ll never be truly safe here. And by the look of regret in his eyes, I know he understands that too.
As we leave the mansion, a man slightly older than Maksim awaits us at the entrance. Instantly, Maksim withdraws his finger from mine, and I feel that familiar whirlwind in my stomach.
Why does it bother me that he pulled his hand away?
“Have you prepared everything?” I hear Maksim ask, and I pause to take a closer look at the new guy.
