Page 42 of Shadows of the Past
“They’re beautiful,” I murmur before throwing myself into his arms without hesitation.
I stare down at the sunflowers, bright and cheerful, and then back at Akim, who remembered what I told him two days ago about my birthday. I’d mentioned how my dad used to bring me a bouquet of sunflowers every year, followed by my mom carrying my favorite cake: caramel cream with chocolate and pineapple on top.
“I couldn’t manage the cake,” Akim says with a sheepish smile before glancing over at Maksim and quickly lowering his gaze to the ground.
“You’re the best, Akim!” I say warmly before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.
Because he is the best person here, the only one who makes this place even slightly bearable.
“If you’re done,” Maksim’s voice booms beside me like thunder, “can we get back to training? Or would you prefer everyone sees the woman I shot half my soldiers for kissing my right-hand man?”
I don’t bother explaining that it wasn’t a kiss, it was just athank youfor such a thoughtful gesture. Getting sunflowers in Russia during this season couldn’t have been easy, especially not in just a couple of days.
I can’t ignore the sting in my chest when I realize Maksim didn’t wish me a happy birthday. I don’t know if he missed it when I told Akim, but Maksim is observant. He doesn’t miss details. Which means he chose to ignore it, and that choice gnaws at me.
Not that he’s obligated to do anything for me. It’s enough that he pulled me away from those predators and is giving me a chance to learn how to defend myself.
But training today is brutal, and every sharp glance Maksim throws my way feels like a whip against my skin. Slowly, the good mood I started with fades entirely.
After tossing me onto the mat more times than I can count, things only get worse during gun practice.
“What’s your problem?” I snap, frustrated after missing the target for the fifth time in thirty seconds. He keeps moving it just as I’m about to fire, making it impossible to hit.
“You’re not paying attention,” he says flatly, and for a split second, I imagine making his head my new target.
“I am paying attention but you’re messing with me!”
“If you’d use your brain and actually listen when I talk, maybe you’d hit that damn target for once,” he fires back, and that’s it. I’ve had enough.
I shove the pistol into its holster and turn on my heel, heading back toward the house without another word. If he wants to act like a jerk, let him train alone.
“Julia,” Akim calls softly behind me, but I ignore him too.
Tears sting my eyes as frustration and homesickness crash over me like a tidal wave. I miss my family. I miss the girls. I miss home. All I can think about is how much I want to leave this place, a place that feels like it’s crushing my soul a little more every day.
My steps quicken as I make my way to the small sanctuary of the bedroom, desperate for a moment of peace to pull myself together. I haven’t even dared to look at the girls today because the ache of missing them grows stronger by the minute. I’m terrified that one day soon, it’ll push me over the edge and I’ll do something reckless just to escape.
I’m leaning against the headboard of my bed when the door slams open with a loud bang, hitting the wall hard enough to make me flinch. Maksim storms in, his anger palpable.
“What the hell is wrong with you, running off like that? Need I remind you, Julia, that you’re technically still a prisoner?”
Exactly what I needed to hear on my birthday: no “happy birthday,” not even a shred of comfort or kindness.
“How could I forget?” I mutter under my breath, more for myself than for him.
I don’t even look at him.Can’t he see that all I want right now is to be alone?
The air between us crackles with tension, but I refuse to be the one who breaks first. Yes, I know everything he’s done for me. I know he probably saved my life, but today? Today, I don’t want him here. Not when he couldn’t bother to show even an ounce of humanity on a day that means so much to me.
I didn’t need gifts or cake; all I wanted was for him to be warmer, closer, to show me something beyond his usual cold exterior.
Because why can’t my heart beat faster for Akim, the one who’s a thousand times more emotionally available, when all it seems to care about is this perfect example of emotional unavailability?
“You’re not looking at me,” Maksim says quietly, his voice tinged with irritation.
Of course he’s annoyed. The girl who looks at him like he hung the moon suddenly doesn’t want anything to do with him.
“I just need a few minutes, Maksim,” I say firmly.
