Page 43 of Shadows of the Past
But naturally, he doesn’t take the hint. Instead of leaving, he stays rooted in place until eventually the mattress dips under his weight as he sits down beside me.
I close my eyes for a moment as his cedarwood scent invades every pore of my skin. It’s maddening how much it affects me. Part of me wants to shake it off physically just to get him out of my system.
“I didn’t get you anything,” he says finally, breaking the silence. “And he did.” His voice is low but steady now. “I didn’t hear you tell him about your birthday or about the flowers, and that’s why I took it out on you earlier. Because when you saw those sunflowers…your whole face lit up, and it wasn’t because ofme. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
I shake my head because, no, I’m not satisfied. How could I be? I’ve fallen for a man who will never allow himself to love me back. It’s not that he doesn’t notice the little things; he does. He just chooses to shut them out, to block me out, so he doesn’t have to care. To maintain this ridiculous distance between us.
Because Maksim doesn’t do feelings.
“Tell me how I can make things better,” he whispers, his hand brushing mine as he hooks his pinky around mine in that quiet, grounding way of his.
I finally lift my gaze to him, taking in the scars that mark his face and make him look older than he is. My eyes linger on his lips, the ones I’ve dreamed of kissing so many times and then on the dark hair that’s cropped short on the sides but left just long enough on top to fall over his forehead. I want to run my fingers through it, to feel its softness against my skin.
I know what I could ask him for right now, and maybe—just maybe—he’d give it to me. But it would only make things worse for my heart, and I can’t let myself fall any deeper into this illusion.
I’ll leave this place eventually. And when I do, he’ll forget me.
“Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be fine,” I tell him softly, watching the disappointment flicker in his eyes.
He knows what I wanted to ask. And if I were more selfish, I would’ve asked for it. But if he kissed me now, when the time comes for me to escape this hell, there would be an invisible chain pulling me back to him. A chain I wouldn’t be able to break.
I feel his touch retreat as he stands and hear the door click shut behind him.
Feliz cumpleaños, Julia.
Once I’ve gathered myself, I head back toward the barn to resume training. But as I reach the bottom of the stairs, a scream stops me in my tracks.
My body freezes instinctively, though my mind screams at me to keep walking. It’s not the first time I’ve heard screams or desperate pleas echoing through these walls. It’s not the first time I’ve fallen asleep only to wake up from nightmares of children being hurt here.
But this time…something inside me stirs.
The small pistol tucked into the waistband of my pants presses against my back like a reminder. Without letting myself think, because if I hesitate, I’ll lose my nerve, I follow the sounds toward their source.
The door is wide open when I get there because, of course, no one bothered to close it. The sight inside makes my stomach churn and my breath catch in my throat. I have to physically shake myself to keep from spiraling into a panic attack.
Aleksandr is on top of a girl who can’t be older than sixteen. His hand grips a knife that’s already left jagged cuts across her chest and stomach while she lies cuffed to the bed.
He’s naked, and though I don’t need to look closer to understand what he’s doing as he drags the blade across her skin, bile rises in my throat at the horror of it.
Before rational thought can stop me, my hand moves on its own as I pull out the pistol and lock eyes with the girl beneath him. Her gaze is filled with terror but also resilience…and gratitude. She nods at me ever so slightly.
I fire without hesitation.
The first bullet hits Aleksandr square in the back, and he collapses off the bed with a scream of pain. As he writhes on the floor, his bloodshot eyes snap toward me.
“I knew your day would come soon enough,” he spits through gritted teeth. “No one’s going to save you now, you worthless whore.”
I step closer and shoot him again, this time in the abdomen.
“The keys?” I ask the girl quickly, keeping my voice steady despite the chaos swirling inside me.
She nods toward a drawer in the nightstand while tears stream down her face. Her eyes are swollen and red from crying, but she still manages to guide me with a trembling hand.
Aleksandr is too weak to fight back now. I know I only have moments before someone comes, but it’s enough time to free her wrists from those cursed cuffs.
I don’t know where she can go or how far she’ll get, but coming here was the right choice. If we’re going to die today, we’ll die fighting together, not by turning our backs like all those other times before.
Once her hands are free, Aleksandr slumps, unconscious, on the floor just as footsteps echo down the hall outside. The girl touches my arm gently and whispers, “If you ever escape this place…find my father. Tell him you saved Dulci.”
