Page 46 of Shadows of the Past
“I won’t intervene again,” she murmurs as she shifts higher onto the bed, trying to hide the pain in her movements. But I know how much those lashes hurt and I hate myself for every mark I left on her skin.
Still, I also know that if I’d chosen a lighter punishment, Ivan would’ve stepped in himself, and there’s no way I’d let him lay a hand on her.
Some of my anger dissipates as I look at her pale face, drained of its usual color.
“Tell me what I can do to make you feel better,” I ask softly, though it’s more of a plea than a question.
A faint smile tugs at her lips despite the pain. “You don’t exactly strike me as someone who knows how to make a caramel cream cake with chocolate and pineapple on top,” she says with a small laugh that quickly turns into a wince.
“Don’t ever put me in that position again, Julia,” I whisper, my voice low but firm. “I hated what I had to do to you.”
“I promise,” she says quietly, and I nod.
“Swear it,” I demand, leaning closer. “Swear to me that you’ll value your life more because if you ever put me in this situation again…I swear I’ll kill every witness before laying another hand on you.”
I wish I could burn the hand that held that whip, erase every moment it caused her pain, but doing so would draw suspicion from all the wrong people. No one can know how much shematters to me or how badly I wanted to take those lashes in her place.
“I swear,” she murmurs, and something in her eyes makes me drop the subject entirely.
I remember why I came back into the house after leaving her alone earlier. That flash of rage when Akim handed her those flowers, it shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. And no matter how many times I tell myself that what I feel for her is just human compassion for someone in her situation…it’s a lie.
Without saying anything else, I pull something from my pocket and place it on the nightstand: Martin’s gold tooth, the one I ripped out before dumping his body. With everything that happened after returning from that mission, I’d completely forgotten about it until now.
Her eyes fall on the tooth, and a slight tremor runs through her body.
How stupid do you have to be to give someone their attacker’s tooth as a birthday gift?
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” I mutter apologetically and reach to take it back when she suddenly grabs my hand.
Her finger intertwines with mine, just our pinkies, and when my eyes meet hers, they’re filled with something that looks a lot like fucking gratitude.
“Tell me he suffered,” she whispers softly, and there’s so much emotion in her gaze, a gratitude that I don’t deserve.
No one does.
“Not enough,” I admit bitterly, knowing she can hear the frustration in my voice.
“Is he dead?”
“Yes.”
I watch as she nods, and something shifts in her eyes. Those dark shadows that had been swirling there seem to fade, if only a little.
“Take this painkiller and get some rest,” I tell her, handing her the pill.
She listens without a word, swallowing it before spending the next minute trying to find a comfortable position lying on her stomach. Just as I’m about to stand and leave, her hand reaches out and grabs mine again.
“Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?” she asks softly, her voice heavy with exhaustion. Before I can even respond, I hear her breathing slow into a soft rhythm.
Something tightens in my chest as I look at her, so vulnerable, so small, so breakable. Today was too close. Too close to losing her like I’ve lost so many others. She doesn’t hear me now, but the words escape my mouth anyway.
“I’m afraid that even when you leave…I’ll still want to be there for you.”
I pull out my phone and send a quick message to Carmen about the dessert Julia mentioned earlier. I tell her it’s urgent and that I’ll pick it up in a few hours.
My gaze drifts back to Julia, and before I realize what I’m doing, my fingers are running gently through her hair.
Get up and leave, Maksim.
