Page 42 of Shadows and Flames
My cousin pursed her lips a moment, searching my face with a familiarity bred by seeing the ugly insides of me time and time again. “Listen carefully. You are not abandoning me by taking this chance. And I need you to stop using me as a weapon to harm yourself.”
I flinched. Indignation rose quickly up my throat, to the tips of my fingers as I shoved her away. “What isthat?—”
Tana’s posture remained rigid while her expression swam with sorrow, irritation, and fuckingpity. She didn’t even try to hide it. “I’ve watched you whither, cousin mine. We train and have fun, yes, but when light comes through,” she waved a hand to the small window on the wall, “you turn away. Claiming that you must focus on Francie. Onme.”
I gaped, sputtered. “You’re…you’re blaming me because Icareabout you? That I’m trying to repay the favor? What sort of bullshit isthat?”
“See! Right there!” She pointed a finger at me, as if she knew just where the poison was. “It is not afavor.Weboth fledVersillia.Weboth decided to not return to Nethras. To train and search for Francie because we want to help her and Whitley. You act as if I’m some lost puppy that’s attached herself to your heel.”
I’d lost track of what was going on, how to get back on the path I was so accustomed treading with my cousin. We didn’t—we didn’targue. Bicker and tease sometimes—well, it was mostly her doing it—but that was the extent of our less than pleasant moments. And even then, they ended quickly with a huff from me and a giggle from her.
I narrowed my eyes. “Is there something else you’re wanting to tell me? You’re not making sense.”
She sighed, frustration draining as her shoulders dropped. “Just…please stop using me as the list of reasons why youcan’t. It’s nowhere near the truth, and I don’t like it.”
My lip began to tremble before I sunk my teeth into it, threatening blood. I was still unsure of what this meant. How this morning started with blue skies and ended in the belly of a ship, arguing with the one person I’d been able to depend on more than anyone else.
Tana sighed again and pulled me into her arms. But it felt forced. Was she finally over my shit, then? Was I just employing Elián to manage me now that Tana seemed fatigued with the role?
Before I could retort, burning oak and cinnamon prickled against my awareness a moment before the resounding knocks of a fist on our door.
My heart jumped, beating heavily against my chest, but I didn’t have time to refuse. To ask for another moment.
Tana hollered, “Come in,” while staring straight at me.
Fuck, his presence filled the room, forcing my back against the reality of what we did to each other. In those days years ago and now, with his mango eyes landing straight on mine. Neitherof us had changed as we made the mad dash to book voyage on the only ship leaving Morova and headed for Vharas.
I was still wearing his clothes, and he still… looked like that. Without a word, Elián crossed the few steps to Tana and me. His hair brushed against me as he reached for my packs on the bed. Every last one of them.
All my life, bundled away in five leather bags.
Elián shouldered them as if they were filled with feathers, posture still ramrod straight. I breathed in his scent like the first inhale of a joint at the end of a long day. Heat in my throat, warming the dark crypt within my ribs.
He nodded at Tana, and she turned back to settling in, sending me off with a wave of her hand. Not even a glance.
“My queen?” His voice was the groan of wood breaking under an inferno.
I turned away from my cousin, obeyed her wishes in that regard to leave her be, and focused on my… the male I was still unsure of how to approach. These hours away as Tana and I had strategized left me fumbling.
My mouth opened and closed multiple times, trying to come up withsomething, but he just nodded toward the door, commanding me to follow as he left.
Now that I’d seen him again, felt him again, there was no letting the thread connecting us pull any further. I trailed after Elián with some weak farewell to Tana, something about how we’d meet in the morning to discuss plans, but my thoughts were already with the male carrying my things down the corridor.
We went by other passengers who paid us no mind, too focused on their own journey to do more than a companionable nod.
And then I was in his room. One not unlike the one we’d just left, but reflecting a glimpse of how much coin he had at hisdisposal. A large bed secured to the floorboards, two windows and a small desk that overlooked the waves.
My throat was bone-dry as I croaked, “Where is your Shadow brother?”
Elián gently dropped my packs to the rug spread beside the bed. His earrings tinkled as he pivoted his head toward me. “Last I saw of him, he was being invited for supper with the captain.”
I choked on a—a laugh, and he echoed the noise, shaking his head. “Wow. He works fast.”
“He does. He has the cabin across the corridor and said that he was ‘bloody glad to be rid of me’ for the next few days.”
My lips continued to spread as I watched him. “Rid of you?”
His smirk dimmed, searching the cabin around us. “Yes. He…he took it upon himself to help me these past years. It is more time than we’ve spent together in decades.”
