Page 103 of Girl in the Water
Walking over to him took every ounce of courage she had.
She put her pride on the line. She laid her body and heart bare for him. This was it.
Lila Heyerdahl was safe.
Tonight was the night. Tonight, Daniela would finally be Ian’s, and then forever after. After all these years, coming together here in Brazil, where they’d first met, felt right.Fate.
She’d prepared a long, convincing speech in the shower. She couldn’t remember a word.
“I love you,” she said simply.
He watched her as if he’d been lost in the jungle for a month and suddenly came across a waiter carrying a steak dinner on a tray.
Or maybe that was just a trick of the light, because he said, his voice past strangled, “Please put on your clothes.”
“I love you,” she said again.
He closed his eyes. “Stop this.”
And then he was off his bed. And then he was shrugging into his jeans, grabbing his sneakers, and then he was out the door. Running away once again.
She stared after him as the door swung shut, her heart pounding. She sat on her bed, light-headed.He will come back.She’d just startled him.He will come back.
She’d given him her heart. All these years, she hadn’t even been sure if she had a heart to give. But she did. And she was glad. And as soon as Ian thought about it, he’d be glad too.
He loved her. His love had been there in the way he looked at her, in the million things he did for her, in the tone of his voice when he talked to her. In that single, spectacular kiss they’d shared.He will come back.
But when she woke in the morning, his bed was still empty.
And Daniela felt her newfound heart crack right to its core.
She was stunned. She was cold, which was physically impossible in this heat, but there she was, shivering. She was angry.
She wanted Ian to come back, but now she wanted it so she could yell at him.I love you. And if you could let go of your stupid hang-ups about us, you’d love me too. I can’t believe you’re such a coward!
That anger got her going at last.
She dressed. Packed. Stood in the middle of the room.
And then she cried like the stupid, infatuated girl she still was. Ian was right. She hadn’t grown up. He’d said no a dozen times, and she kept throwing herself at him.
Maybe he didn’t love her.
Maybe he had never loved her romantically, only as a friend, exactly as he’d said. Maybe he was never going to love her the way she craved. Maybe she’d made all that great love up in her head.
He’d offered friendship, and she’d gone crazy with it.
Bobby at GWU thought she was into him.
Maybe she was to Ian what Bobby was to her. An unrequited love she didn’t want to hurt because they werefriends. She thought about how uncomfortable Bobby had made her feel at times.
Then she thought about how Ian tried to get away from her every time she pushed the relationship issue.
God, I’ve been stupid.
She was mortified.
But this was it now. She squared her shoulders and squared her jaw. This was the end. Shehadgrown up finally. Shewasa woman.A strong woman.And she was going to build herself a good life, a life that didn’t revolve around hopelessly pining for Ian Slaney.
He’d saved her four years ago. She would forever be grateful to him. But she was going to stop ruining both of their lives with her stupid unrequited love, right this second.
Should have known, a little voice, the voice of young Daniela, beaten-down Daniela in Rosa’s house, said in her head. Her mother had died and left her alone. Then Pedro had passed her on and abandoned her at Rosa’s. Rosa passed her on too. Then Finch had died and left her too. Why had she thought that Ian would want her forever? Of course he wouldn’t.
Daniela squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to scream.
She hated that timid voice of insecurity. Hated it every time it came back. She was no longer the helpless little Daniela, at the mercy of others.
She pulled out her phone and reserved a seat on the next plane from Manaus to the US. She didn’t care if Ian could get on the same flight or not. In fact, she preferred going home on separate planes.
