Page 18 of Desperate Measures
“I don’t know,” I said. “It doesn’t feel right taking space from Jah but still going out. And I’ve been here all day. It’s time to get Scarlett. I’d feel like a bad mother leaving her with your mom after all that.”
“Crimson. You are more than just Scarlett’s mom. You’re a woman before anything. You deserve to do more than work and come home. Is it anxiety? Or PTSD?”
“All of it. But really, it’s the guilt. It feels wrong taking time for myself when I practically checked out of life for six weeks. I just got back from vacation and I’m still not focused. My thoughts be all over the place.”
“You went through something, Crim. You could’ve given up, but you didn’t. You kept going. Give yourself a pat on the back. I don’t know how you do it, considering everything, and I do mean everything, you’ve been through. So we’re going out. Not just because I want my dancing bestie with me, but because my dancing bestie deserves a break.”
A night to breathe, maybe laugh a little, and feel like myself again would probably do me some good. I glanced over at my creation on the mannequin. It had been completed for days, but suddenly it looked different. It was almost like it had been standing there waiting to get my attention. And now that I’m looking at it, I did snap when I made it.
“Donna,” I spoke to my mannequin. “I need to borrow your dress. Mama gotta have a life too!”
“My girl!” Zahara high-fived me.
Crimson
The music blared, low but heavy, vibrating through the crowd like smoke. I was halfway through my drink, trying to pretend like I wasn’t checking the door every five minutes. The idea of clubbing was cool, but I was ready to go the moment we set foot in here. Then I felt it, that familiar weight of being watched. My skin prickled before I even turned around. Then Zahara’s eyes went wide with shock, happiness, and then disgust.
“What’s up, cuz?” I heard Rashad say. “Damn, Zahara, you look good.” She rolled her eyes, which confirmed why she had that look of disgust on her face. Rashad and Zahara had a push-and-pull relationship before Venus stepped in. Now, with him apparently off house arrest, she wouldn’t be able to avoid him.
Rashad being here only meant one thing.There he was, Jahsir. Standing just beyond the bar with his eyes locked on mine. Then suddenly he moved toward me. A slow approach that had my heart thudding against my ribs. I watched as Jahsir moved towards me. He walked with no smile, no wave, just purpose. His approach had my heart working in overdrive. I wasn’t ready to have any conversation, but it was too late to avoid it.
“Aye, lemme holler at you.”
That was the last thing I heard before Jahsir yanked me from the bar. His grip wasn’t rough, but it was firm, like he wasn’t giving me a choice.
The club was packed, heat pulsed from bodies and the bassline vibrated through the floor. LED lights swept over the crowd in flashes of violet and gold, but all I saw was him. His jaw was tight, and for the first time, he had anger in his eyes. He pulled me into a hallway just past the VIP section, then shoved open a door markedVIP.
We entered the bathroom, and I noted sleek black tile, gold fixtures, spotless marble sinks. Even the soap dispensers gleamed under the recessed lighting. The bathroom smelled like expensive perfume and fresh eucalyptus. He let the door slam shut behind us.
Jahsir
“What’s your problem, man?” I asked Crimson. Her heels clicked against the tile as she turned to face me, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she stood there with her arms folded like I was the one who had done something to her. “Red?! You don’t hear me talking to you?!”
“Jahsir, why are you showing up while I’m out trying to have a good time?”
“Because I haven’t seen you or Scarlett in damn near three days.”
“Well.”
“Well?” I stepped forward. She didn’t flinch, and she wouldn’t, because she knew I’d never hurt her. But she straightened up a bit. I don’t think she’d ever seen me upset with her. “Red, don’t play with me, man. Please don’t.”
“I’m not. And Jahsir, I really don’t wanna go back and forth with you, so I’m just gonna be real. I think it’s best that I start looking for a place to stay.”
“For what, a vacation or some shit? ‘Cause you’re not moving out.”
“Yes, I am,” she said, standing her ground. “You’re moving funny, and I don’t like it.”
I paced for a moment, letting her words sink in. I also took time to find my next ones. Crimson was pissing me off, and I was really trying not to lose my cool with her.
“You think I’m moving funny because I paid off her daycare? Crimson, I’m just making sure y’all are straight. I would’ve paid that shit off until she hit kindergarten if they let me. It ain’t that deep.”
“It is that deep because you’re gonna leave again. It's just easier to cut habits and ties now.”
“Cut the ties? You trippin’.” I turned to walk away, but Crimson pulled at my arm.
“Lemme go, man.”
“Why are you so mad at me?!” she yelled.
