Page 132 of Every Good Thing
“The objective was to offer you the job you deserve. Secondary to that, we wanted to see you happy. It’s all been for a good cause, Ben,” he argues lightly. “We failed you after your injuries. I promised myself I wouldn’t fail you again. For your sake and Lauren’s. Ruthie’s, too. We can give her the best of everything. Let us give you your life back.”
I stand, setting my glass down before shaking his hand across the table. “Thank you, Mr. Riley.”
“You’re more than welcome. I’ll call my team now—”
“No, that’s unnecessary. Thank you for validating my decision not to take this job. I already have a family, and they’re what’s best for me.”
He scoffs. “You left them, Ben. You’re not with Lena anymore because you can do better. Lauren is better. Stop punishing her already. She was devastated when you didn’t show up the other night.”
I cringe with shame that I even considered it. More regret clouds me over letting Lena believe it. Sparing her a future with me seemed right at the time. Now that I know better, gluing the broken pieces of my marriage back together seems an impossible task. Not everything that’s broken can be fixed.
Not that I’ll ever stop trying.
I lock eyes with him, determined to finish this. “No one is better than Lena. My love and loyalty belong to her forever. I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone, broke, Deaf, unemployed, and whatever else life decides, begging for Lena’s forgiveness and restoring her faith in me, than live a half-life in your superficial, manipulative, entitled family.”
The ease of my delivery surprises us both. I feel unstuck. Clear. Focused. Recycling some of the same words I used on Lauren when we broke up feels cathartic. This time, they aren’t said in anger but in truth and acceptance. I did the right thing then; I’m doing it now. I feel ashamed for judging Lena for her forced smiles while I fell so easily for their fake ones. How could I have been so damn gullible?
One long stride brings me to the pictures on his wall, where I remove my portrait and tuck it under my arm. “I don’t belong here.”
As I move toward the door, Mr. Riley shakes his head in disappointment. “You’re making a mistake, son.”
His parental stare-down takes me back to times when he could guilt Lauren with a look over subpar grades or speeding tickets. My respect for him made me hellbent on never inspiring his disappointment.
Now, I no longer care.
At the door, I say, “Everyone wants the wins, but the losses… those make us who we are. That’s what you said. Remember? Your family lost me, and now I see exactly who you are. I want no part of it. And don’t call me son.”
I jerk the door open, and Lauren stumbles inside.
A weak smile emerges from her distress. “Ben, don’t let Dad scare you off. We can work this out, just the two of us.”
I huff and push by her, done with them.
But as I near the elevator, she calls out, “Ben, don’t go. It’s not my fault.”
“Nothing ever is.” I slap the elevator call button repeatedly.
“It came up one night at family dinner—”
“I don’t care.”
“I told him that you’re the only man I’d ever marry,” she smiles like it’s an endearing anecdote.
My irritation only grows.
“So, when this happened, Dad took those words to heart. We all did. I’m sorry, but we were so happy once. Remember? It can be like that again. I still have hope for us.”
Long shadows of anger stretch into my present, recalling her cringing expression at my scars. That same dismissive attitude toward anything that doesn’t fit into the Rileys’ plans is still there, hidden. My injuries didn’t fit. Neither did my wife. Her condescending encounters with Lena, her scheme to get me to dance, her inappropriate invitation, and total disregard for my marriage and family all prove it.
The door pings open. I step inside, blocking her from joining me.
“We aren’t kids anymore, so let me be clear,” I say. “There is no us. There will never be an us. And if ever I waste a thought on you again, it’ll only be in vague gratitude for one thing.”
Her arms fold over her chest as she glares, her fake smile retreating behind a scowl.
“Leaving you led me to Lena. She’s everything I need, all I’ll ever want. She’s where I belong.” I smirk, amused by the sharp irritation etched on her face. “Oh, and Lauren, get a life… stop trying to fuck with mine. Don’t come near my wife or Saddletree again.”
Her mouth drops with my warning, just as I free the door and let it shut between us.
