Page 26 of Every Good Thing
Acute uneasiness overtakes me. I should’ve consulted Lena. It feels wrong to discuss this with them when I haven’t with her. A headache pecks my temples. My neck burns with frustration, and my palms sweat.
People discussing me.
My hearing being a subject for conversation.
Lena not knowing anything, even that I’m here.
I stand to refill my empty water glass at the bar. The room spins. I stumble against a winged chair. The glass falls and shatters on the hardwood floor, a new memory mixing with the old.
“Ben!” Lauren rushes over and wraps my midsection, holding me up.
“Edward! Get the nurse up here!” John calls to his assistant.
“That’s unnecessary.”
“I insist, Ben.” He helps me into the nearest chair. “Let us take care of you. Lightheadedness should be taken seriously.”
Lauren fans me with papers. John gets me a fresh glass of water. The nurse arrives and performs tests—all my numbers are fine.
The spell passes, and I rise. “My apologies. I should’ve mentioned my occasional balance issues before discussing this offer. Forgive me for wasting your time.”
“No, son, wait. That doesn’t change anything,” John assures me. “Tell us. What will it take to get you on our team?”
That he still wants me here after my embarrassing display stuns me.
I’m not one to allow my feelings much space. I prefer evidence to supposition, facts to thoughts, and the present to the past. But I’m besotted with emotion.
Gratitude—my employment opportunities will soon become increasingly limited.
Relief—seeing Lauren again wasn’t the nightmare I imagined.
Regret over Lena and all the words I have trouble saying.
And, most unexpectedly, pleasure.
I remember what it was like to be a part of the Rileys’ inner circle. They heard me out on matters I couldn’t discuss with my family. For a young man with a learning disability, unsure about his future, the Rileys held up a mirror that revealed my true self and put me on a better path.
Surrounded by their familiar care and attention, I wouldn’t mind being a part of their circle again. Taking this job would give me that.
No more noisy traffic situations, disgruntled citizens, or children imprisoned in dog crates.
Like he’s reading my mind, Mr. Riley says, “You’ve done enough out there, son. You deserve something better.”
John Riley understands service, family, and me in a way few people could. His words feel like permission.
Dream something better. The framed note from Lena’s mom comes to mind. It led Lena to imagine Saddletree. I wonder if this position at Riley Trust could be my something better.
“Dad, don’t be so aggressive.” Lauren squeezes my arm. “Ben needs time to think about it and talk to Lena.”
John raises his hands submissively. “Of course. Forgive my impatience, but I’ve had my mind made up since Larry mentioned you. Take all the time you need, Ben.”
“I will give it my utmost consideration.” I emerge from their protective cocoon and reach for my jacket.
My phone slips from my pocket and slides onto the couch.
Terror seizes me like a hand squeezing my throat. Twenty missed calls. Forty-three missed texts… Forty-four… Forty-five.
The screen alights with Jack Harvey’s name. I answer.
