Page 89 of Every Good Thing
She catches my stern tone and nods dutifully. “There’s something you’re not telling me. What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.”
“You want me to make something up? I told you, it’s nothing.”
“Then, there is an it. What?”
I huff, loving and hating how well she knows me. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
She slams on the brakes, sending us both forward with an uncomfortable jolt. “Holy fuck, Dot!”
“Has he hurt you? Physically? Or verbally? Or anything like that? So help me God, I’ll—”
“Dot, no! Absolutely not! Nothing like that!”
Cars honk around us, but Dot ignores them. She takes a deep breath to quell her sudden fury. “You said you didn’t know how he’d react, and my brain went to red alert.”
“I get it. I’m sorry. But I promise—Ben would never.”
She nods. “Yeah, I didn’t think so, but had to make sure.”
A light chuckle escapes at her overzealous protection. “I appreciate it, my personal Zena Warrior Princess.”
“Damn straight.” She starts driving again while reaching for her vape pen. “Only a sword won’t fit with my murder plan.”
“What murder plan?”
“Oh, Cherry and I have talked about it at length. Not murdering Ben, but her ex or any guy in general. We have a solid plan that prevents us from getting caught, should we need it. It’s quite clever.”
This information doesn’t surprise me, and I don’t doubt it either. “I’d like to hear this plan.”
“No. Tell me what it is.”
“I fell asleep on the couch waiting for him to come home last night, and he didn’t wake me up.” My shoulders bounce with the quick explanation that sounds so small and insignificant. “He just went to bed without me.”
“Maybe he didn’t want to disturb you,” she tries.
“That’s what he said this morning, but it’s bullshit. I’ve fallen asleep waiting for him hundreds of times when he works the split shift. He always wakes me, usually with a kiss. Sometimes, he carries me to bed. He’s never left me there before. No, he didn’t want to talk to me. It was easier for him to sneak off to bed than to have a conversation.”
Dot groans. “So much for avoiding avoidance. Am I right?”
“Yeah… I’m losing him. The harder I try to connect with him, the more he pushes back. I’m starting to think… Ben’s falling out of love with me, Dot. Little by little, he’s slipping through my fingers. I feel him pulling away, see it when he looks at me. I’m not even sure he realizes it yet.”
I droop in my seat, the admission zapping my energy. I needed to hear myself say it. Last night confirmed my worst fear—he’d rather be without me.
“I don’t believe that’s true,” she says, “but let’s put it to the test. He won’t want you here if he doesn’t love you. I bet he won’t turn you away when you show up… I’ll even go as far as to say he’ll be glad to see you. When I win, you must promise to stop talking like that, okay? Ben loves you. You must know that.”
I sigh, knowing how easily that can change. “What if I win?”
“Then, I’ll let you and Cherry do that fucking makeover on me that you’ve always wanted to do, dresses, heels, make-up, the works—that’s how damn sure I am.”
I laugh at our preposterous makeover plans concocted over too much wine one night. We would never change Dot. But her willingness to risk being turned into a girly girl speaks to her confidence and upticks mine slightly.
“Fine. Deal. But promise me, you won’t take off to force his hand. Crying my ass off while waiting for an Uber will be hella humiliating.”
“I’ll wait for the thumbs up. Promise.” She puts on her calm voice, and once she pulls into a space street-side in front of the clinic, she parks and turns off the motor to satiate me.
