Page 10 of My Mom's Man

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Because of me?

It’s stupid and unrealistic and horrible of me to think such a thing. Yet, the man who’s been denied sex for far too long, imagines she’s wishing it were my fingers touching her throbbing clit.

I bite on my bottom lip and do the unthinkable. With jerky movements, I shove my hand into my shorts and free my cock. It’s heavy and thick in my calloused hand. I stroke it roughly, wishing for a smaller, smoother hand instead. Each time she whimpers, I nearly climax right then.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

This is so wrong.

I need to just fuck Amara tonight so I can get over this forbidden need coursingthrough me.

Every thought of Amara, naked and writhing beneath me, transforms into Emma. I can’t force her out of my mind, no matter how hard I try. I’m outside the bathroom door as she showers, jerking off to thoughts of fucking her.

I bet she’s tight and juicy.

I’d tear her in half with my fat cock. I’d bruise her insides with every stab of my big dick.

“Oh fuck,” I mutter, voice shaking.

The water shuts off and I’m frozen. Silence fills the air. Do I bolt? No. I continue stroking my dick as I imagine her standing there wet and naked. A small groan escapes me as a soft splatter of cum hits the door. I jerk hard and fast, eager to expel all this illicit need for a girl younger than my own damn son.

Once completely spent, I rip off my shirt and carefully swipe it off the door. Then, I hold the wet material to my still-throbbing cock as I stumble toward my room. I’ve barely closed the door when I hear Emma’s voice.

“All yours now.”

The shower.

She means the shower.

Not her.

I yank my shorts up over my dick and then stuff my shirt into the hamper. I’ll have to do the laundry today to hide the evidence of my sick episode a few moments ago. The thought of Amara finding my cum-crusted shirt and demanding answers makes my stomach roil.

What did I just do?

Shame coats over me like black, sludgy oil. I want to scrape it off of me, flinging it as far away as possible. What I just did isn’t me. I’m not a cheater or some perv who checks out young woman. I’m a good man, dammit.

Good men don’t fuck their hand outside the door of their girlfriend’s daughter while she showers.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Nothing happened. It was a quick, reckless moment, but it’s over. I had to satisfy my sexual craving in a safe way, and I did. No one got hurt. Everything is fine.

Cheater.

Guilt threatens to swallow me whole.

Is it cheating to have a fantasy?

What I did feels worse than cheating or some harmless fantasy. It feels like wearing sickness and shame like a second skin. Like lust and sin twisted into a sick lollipop I just greedily ran my tongue over. Disgusting.

I’d desperately wanted Emma.

Only a door separated me from doing something unforgivable.

What if there were no door between us?

It can’t happen again.