Page 37 of Game On
“Only when it matters.” His smile is reassuring, making it a little easier to breathe. “You’re strong, Ella. Not because you don’t have moments of doubt, but because you face them head-on, even when it’s hard. And Jamie? Hudson? If they were smart, they’d see that. But either way, it shouldn’t change how you view your worth.”
“You’re right.” I sink against him. “Thank you for listening to me ramble.”
“Anytime,” he says, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze.“Just know you’re not in this alone. You’ve got friends here now, too.”
“Yeah, I think I needed to hear that more than I realized.”
He stands, offering me his hand. “Come on, let’s head back. No need to let one awkward encounter spoil the whole night.”
I accept his hand, allowing him to pull me to my feet. “Back into the fray?”
“Soldier on.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Hudson
I’m officially done celebrating for the night. It’s time to pry my roommate away from his non-girlfriend and lug him back to my truck. I spot them across the room, Levi’s boisterous laugh cutting through the noise of the party. Sammy’s giggling along with him, her red curls bouncing as she does.
“Come on, man,” I say, clapping Levi on the shoulder. “Time’s up.”
“Aw, Hudsy.” He’s slurring a little, grinning up at me. “Don’t go all mother hen on me now.”
“I’m your DD. It’s my right,” I say, helping him to his feet. Sammy steadies herself against a nearby table. “Do you need a ride too, Sam?”
She waves me off. “Nope, my roommate’s here somewhere.”
“Okay, text Levi if you run into trouble,” I say. “I can always come back.”
She gives me a grateful smile. Levi ruffles her hair, murmurs a quick goodbye, and then I guide him out the frontdoor. As we leave, I catch a flash of dark brown hair in my peripheral vision. It’s Ella, sitting on a bench with her stunt partner, heads close together in conversation.
I invited her to this party with every intention of spending some time together—teasing her, flirting with her, maybe even finding an excuse for something more. But seeing her again in a new light, watching her dance, listening to her chew me out … Well, it frustrates me no end, though I’m struggling to understand why.
An unexpected twist of regrets stirs inside of me. I linger in the driveway while Ash stands and extends his hand to her. She takes it, letting him pull her to her feet. The easy trust between them grates on me, too.
“Hey, man.” Levi’s voice pulls me back from my thoughts. He’s blinking up at me with drunken confusion. “What’re we doing?”
I tear my eyes away from her, forcing a shrug. “Nothing. Let’s go home.”
He grumbles something unintelligible in response, and we stumble our way into the warm Nashville night. The ride back to our place is mostly silent. Levi dozes off in the passenger seat halfway through the journey, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
It’s hard to shake off the pang of … what, jealousy? Annoyance? Intrigue? I can’t deny that I wanted to be the reason Ella came to the party tonight. To share a laugh with her, to be the one to make her eyes light up. Instead, I found myself retreating, thrown off by the intensity of my attraction.
There’s something about Ella that pulls me in, makes me want to be around her, even if it messes with my head. This feeling is new, and I’m not sure I like it. We shared a few moments, sure, but that shouldn’t mean anything. Yet my mind keeps replaying images of her and Ash together, and their obvious connection.
It gnaws at me more than I want to admit. Not because I think something’s going on there—she’s a straight shooter, after all—but because I think the two of us could have had something, too, if the circumstances were different.
I may want her in just the way she assumes I do, but I just … can’t. Not right now. There are so many things that make it impossible. I’ve never been good at letting people in. There’s too much to lose—too many risks, too many scars still not healed.
It’s not just about a fear of mixing personal issues with my plans for the future either; there’s also the matter of her technically being off-limits. I don’t want to put us in a position that risks the wrath of both our coaches.
I pull into our driveway and park the truck. Levi’s snoring gently now, his head lolling to one side. I nudge him awake and help him inside, where he collapses onto the couch without bothering to take off his shoes. I cover him with a throw blanket, double-check every light switch and outlet in the house, and then head to my room.
I check on Sourdough too, refreshing his water and topping off his food before I collapse onto the bed. My mind spins with what-ifs and could-have-beens. This constant spiral is just part of how my brain operates. I’ve come to understandthat I tend to dwell on details, always analyzing and rehashing, struggling to let go even when I know I should.
Obsessive to a fault, one might call it.
It doesn’t matter that I’ve tried to maintain my focus, to be driven about where I’m headed and what I need to do to get there. That I cut out alcohol, and women (for the most part), along with every other distraction that might derail my plans. Because Ella … she still manages to throw me off. To make me reconsider paths I thought were set in stone.
