Page 45 of Game On
“Just a whirlwind of a day.”
“Was Skylight bad tonight?” she asks. “Tuesday nights are always a toss-up.”
“No, it … I, um, if you don’t mind, I just want to decompress in my room. You can finish your call. Maybe we can talk tomorrow?”
“Okay, sweetie. Here if you need me,” she says with a warm smile, plugging back into her own world as I shuffle towards my bedroom.
Once inside, I fall onto my bed. To everyone else, Jamie was just my boyfriend, but to me, he had become the very fabric of my life, woven into my days like family. When he walked away, he took pieces of my future with him, pieces I’m still trying to reclaim.
I need to rebuild myself before letting anyone get that close again. I can’t afford to let my heart get tangled up, not when I’m still stitching it all back together.
I stare at the ceiling, my mind spinning. After lying there for what feels like hours, I slide off the bed, reaching for the stack of textbooks on my desk. Reading usually helps me to decompress, but tonight each line blurs into the next, nothing sticking, my brain too scattered to latch onto anything substantive.
In a last-ditch effort to find some distraction, I reach for my phone and ring Molly. It’s quite early in the morning forher, but she picks up anyway, her voice bubbling over with excitement.
“Ella! Thank God you called,” she says. “You will not believe what happened!”
I sink back onto the bed, pulling my knees up to my chest as I listen to her ramble about some fantastic news—she was just accepted onto a prestigious research team. She’s been studying molecular biology since our first year at Oxford. It’s a long, competitive application process, and I’m so pleased for her.
Molly’s excitement is usually infectious, but right now it just makes me feel more adrift. Here’s my best friend, stepping into this bright new chapter of her life. Meanwhile, I’m tangled up in the past.
I had planned to tell her about Jamie, about Hudson, about how complicated and messy everything feels. But hearing her so joyous, I can’t bring myself to weigh her down with my problems.
“That’s amazing, Mol. I’m so happy for you,” I manage to say, my voice a tight wire of strained cheerfulness.
“Thank you! I knew you’d be thrilled. What’s up with you? How are classes? How’s Whitland’s squad?”
I hesitate, then force a smile even though she can’t see it. “It’s all good. Really, just the usual hustle and bustle. It’s been intense learning how to do things differently. But it’s fun in its own way. Classes are … well, they’re classes.”
Molly laughs, her voice crackling with warmth. “You know if you ever need to vent or just scream into the void, I’m here, okay? I miss you.”
“Thanks, Mol. I miss you, too. And I might take you up on that soon.” I press my fingertips to my temples, feeling the start of a headache. “Actually, if it’s okay, I think I’m just going to try to catch some sleep. Long day.”
“Of course, El. Get some rest. We’ll talk again soon, okay? Love you!”
“Love you, too.”
I hang up and toss my phone aside, guilt sitting heavy in my stomach. Molly would have listened, would have offered her fierce, no-nonsense advice like always. I know that.
Next to Jamie, Molly has always been part of my found family. With my parents so distant, I had to create a home for myself in the people who truly cared: my friends, my partner. But being here now, without that foundation, without someone by my side who knows me inside out, it’s like I’m missing that part of myself.
I like the people I’ve met so far. They’re driven, full of ambition and light, and it’s been good to be surrounded by their energy. It keeps my mind from spiraling. But at the end of the day, it’s the quiet moments I miss the most. The ones with people who love me, who fill the gaps that new friends just can’t reach.
For the rest of the time that I’m here, I won’t have that. I won’t have anyone to share those quiet moments with. And as much as I want to reopen my heart, to let someone else in, it doesn’t make sense to build something here when I’ll have to leave it behind anyway.
So tonight, like the many nights still ahead of me, I guess the quiet will have to be enough.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Hudson
I pull into my driveway and just sit there, the truck’s engine idling, as I’m gripped by an unease that’s hard to shake off.
I’m stewing over the sight of Jamie lingering outside Ella’s apartment.Why was he sitting there, in the shadows, like some creep?A part of me wants to drive back and confront him, to make sure he’s not there to start trouble. But another part, the rational side, insists that she can handle herself. She’s proven that well enough.
Still, the protective urge doesn’t fade easily, and it gnaws at me as I wait here alone. I half expect my phone to light up with a text—some kind of SOS—but nothing comes. With a heavy sigh, I finally kill the engine and decide it’s time to let it go.
As I walk through the front door, the familiar clutter of our living room greets me. Levi is sprawled on the couch and glances up, a casual nod of recognition as I enter. But then his eyes narrow as he takes in my appearance.
