Page 187 of Burning Ember
“Is it safe?” Ember’s voice is brittle, and I stop breathing, questioning whether I really heard her speak. It’s the first damn time she’s spoken to me since just after I killed Warner, and a cool rush of hope fills my chest.
“I’ll make it safe, Doll. I won’t let anything happen to you, Sunny, or Will. The club won’t either. And Taz has been dealt with by the club for startin’ all this. He’s been lettin’ Dozer and some of the other brother’s wail on him because of it.”
“I don’t blame Taz.” She says it so meekly, I almost don’t hear it.
I let my eyes roam over her freckled face, and cinnamon lashes, her nose, her pink lips, and the familiar chain she still wears around her neck, before I say, “I know, Doll. I know who you blame.”
Her face rises and for a second my heart stills. Her gaze stops at my chest and falls back to the blanket. “I don’t blame you either.”
“We both know that’s bullshit.”
“It’s not,” her voice gets stronger.
“It is!” I seethe. She shakes her head. I sit on the end of the bed below her feet and plant my hands beside her knees to try to get her to look me in the eye. “Then, why can’t you fuckin’ look at me? Is it because of what I did? Because you see me differently now?”
She freezes and her eyes close. “No, I’m thankful for what you did.” Her answer sounds genuine. “It’s probably the only thing that helps me sleep at night. Knowing that I don’t have to worry about him anymore.”
I tilt my head and study her. “Then why won’t you look at me? Why do you pull away every time I touch you?”
She shrugs. Her hand comes up, sweeps a tear away from her face, but another slides down her cheek and continues to her chin. I leave the bottom of the bed and sit beside her, cup her face. I try to raise it. When I do, she looks down at my jaw.
Voice thick, I whisper, “Why, Doll? It’s killin’ me. Just tell me.” Using my thumbs, I rub away the tears as they continue to fall.
“Because you won’t . . .” Shaking her head, she mumbles, “ . . . not the way you used to . . .” She tries to pull her face away, but I won’t let her.
“I won’t what?”
“Feel the same way, look at me the same.” She hurries to say. “I should have fought harder. Done something to stop it.”
“Doll, I don’t understand. You did everything you could, and I’m gonna look at you the same way I did before. Like you’re fuckin’ beautiful. Like you’re amazing, and the most gorgeous woman in the world, because that’s exactly how I still see you. How I’ll always see you. I’m gonna look at you like you’re so goddamn strong because with everythin’ that happened to you, you survived. And I’m gonna look at you like I love you, because I do. God, Ember. I love you so much, it fuckin’ hurts.”
Her blue-green eyes finally lift to my face. And it’s as if an ocean breeze fills my chest. The elation I feel is indescribable.
“You love me?”
Smiling and ignoring the tear traveling down my own face, I kiss her quickly on the lips, and say, “Yeah, I do.”
Her lashes flutter and draw down. “I keep thinking, if I’d just taken off your necklace, then maybe he wouldn’t have done it—marked my back, and did what he did.”
Something heavy worms its way into my gut, filling me with a sick feeling and an awful suspicion. The conversation I had with Doctor Alister comes back to me.
“From what? A belt?”
“Not sure. But I counted thirteen marks on her back and the top of her thighs and if you look closely at her skin there, there’s evidence that this isn’t the first time it’s happened. She also has two bruised ribs, and a contusion on her cheek, but that should heal in a few days. The important thing is that she’s alive. She’s damn lucky the bullet only nicked her liver and passed through like it did.”
“Were there signs of . . .”
A weighty silence falls between us.
“Rape?” he asks.
Crossing my arms, I nod once.
“There’s evidence of rough intercourse recently, but no traces of semen. Rape is harder to determine if the patient is sexually active. Had you two . . .”
Thinking about last night and how rough I was when I took her in my office, I nod again.
Alister says, with all the confidence in the world, “Then let’s hope that’s all it was.”
