Page 188 of Burning Ember
I expel a relieved breath as he walks out of the room and turns back to stare at Ember sleeping in the bed.
“Are you telling me he raped you?”
“I thought you knew!” The panic in her eyes confirms what I didn’t want to even consider or believe though it was always a possibility. “I thought . . .”
“I didn’tknow.” Rising from the bed, heat shoots up my spine. I lace my hands behind my head, and then move them to the back of my neck. “Jesus Christ!”I granted that son of a bitch mercy. I let him off easy and without any pain. When I should’ve ripped the skin from his bones.I grab the bed table and shove it across the room, sending it to crash against the wall.
I turn and almost growl, “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me before I killed him?” But more tears trek down her face.
“Fuck!” I did this. I stare at how broken she is and realize that Warner didn’t break her. I did. I didn’t trust in her, and because I didn’t, she ran. She was shot, raped, and nearly died. And I have no one, not a damn soul, but myself to blame. It was my job to protect her, and I failed her in every way I could.
Half of me wants to go to her. Tell her I don’t blame her, that it’s not her fault, and that this doesn’t change a thing. I still love her. The other half wants to tear apart this room, and this whole fucking hospital.
When her hands cover her face, I go to her. Pull her into my chest and let her cry on my shirt. I kiss her head and whisper those things to her. “This isn’t your fault, baby. I did this. You did nothin’ wrong to deserve this, and it doesn’t change a thing for me. I still love you. Do you hear me, Doll? I love you and we’re gonna make it through this.”
I crawl into the bed with her and hold her until she falls asleep. But minute by minute, the shame mounts, and becomes too much.
Before I leave her, I brush her hair away from her face and kiss her one last time on the temple.
EMBER
I’m startled awake as something moves under my hand and another something lands on top of it. My breath hitches as I open my eyes and see Mav beside my bed. He reeks of alcohol.
I realize that it’s his hand under mine, his forehead pressed to the top of my hand, and he’s kneeling beside the bed.
“Mav?”
“Doll. What can I do?”
“What do you mean?” Using the button, I adjust the bed so I can sit up, because I can’t yet sit up on my own.
In a slightly accented and slurred voice, he asks, “To make this right? How the fuck do I make this right?”
I consider his question for a long time.Is there any way to make it right?We can’t erase what happened. We can’t go back. And Warner’s gone. The memories will probably always be there. Though with time, maybe the nightmares of it will fade.
“I don’t think you can make it right. Nobody can. But maybe one day, it won’t hurt like this.”
Mav fists the blanket. “You say you don’t blame me, but how could you not? I do. I knew who you were, and I never should’ve doubted you.”
Although it pulls at the bandage over my abdomen, I lay my other hand over the back of his head. His coarse hair tickles my palm. “I could’ve tried to explain. But I didn’t, Mav.”
He shakes his head from side to side. “No. You were right. You shouldn’t have had to explain a thing.”
His hand moves over my thigh, squeezes it. “I just hope one day you can forgive me. Not now and maybe not even soon, but one day.”
He looks up at me. I gasp and reach out to touch his face, but then I pull back for fear of causing him more pain. It looks like he’s had enough of it tonight. His face reminds me of what Sundown’s looked like when I first saw her in the back of the SUV. Beaten and swollen.
“What did you do?”
He licks as the cut on his lip and hisses. Then brings a knuckle to the split there and shrugs. “Someone had to pay. Me, Taz, doesn’t matter. Just not you.”
“Taz did that to you?”
He stands, sweeps my bangs away, and leans over and kisses my forehead. “No, Dozer. After I beat the shit out of Taz, Dozer was more than happy to do the same to me.”
For the first time since facing off against Warner, I get angry. I glare up at him and when I do, a smirk tries to split across Mav’s face. Only it ends rapidly with him cursing and touching the back of his hand across his cut lip again.
“Fuck, that hurts. Why are you glaring at me?” The side of his mouth curls.
