Page 42 of All In
The night I asked her to marry me, I went back to Big C’s and broke the news. He was … well … let’s say that he was skeptical.
“Sam, are you freaking kidding me right now? What are you thinking?” he exclaimed as we stood in his kitchen drinking whiskey.
“It’s spontaneous, I know.”
“Spontaneous? It’s stupid. You’ve only been dating for like what … three months?”
“Four.”
“Well, then. That makes everything better,” he scoffed.
“Okay, mom.” His lips curled into a brief grin as he shrugged off the slight dig at his genuine concern for me.
“That’s the other thing,” he continued with his lecture. “What about your mom?”
“I know, I know.” I hang my head in shame. “Mom is livid about this whole thing.”
He gave me a knowing look.
We stood there in silence for quite a while. I knew he wouldn’t take this well. He hasn’t been a huge fan of Erica’s since we met. He says that she brings out the worst in me. I know he’s right. But at that moment, in his kitchen, I didn’t care.
He turned his attention back to me, his brow furrowed with concern. “Sam, does this …” He stopped and looked down at his glass and let out a long breath. “Does this have to do with Maria? She got married, so now you have to. Be honest.”
“What! No!” I yelled as I threw my hands in the air. “I know you think this is just a rebound.”
“Heck, yeah, I do.” He took a sip of his drink, wincing as it went down. “The first beautiful woman to bat her eyelashes at you now that Maria is out of the picture once and for all, and BAM! You want to marry her.” He shook his head, gripping his glass. “This is so ridiculous.”
“I really care about Erica. I need this, C. I need to start a new life. Erica makes me happy. She makes me feel alive for the first time since I gotThe Chadletter from—”
“God! Would you stop calling it that!”
I ignored him. “For the past seven years, it’s like time has stood still. I’m stuck back in ’95 and the day Maria destroyed me … I’m trapped in that moment in time. So, I need …” I stopped to collect my thoughts. Whatever the reason, getting my best friend’s approval was crucial. “You and Jasmine have been wonderful to me. But I need to move on.” And he knew this. His sole purpose in pressuring me to move here was so that I could start over and forget Maria once and for all. That night in our shed, she made her choice. Without a doubt, her future is mapped out and meticulously planned.
Awesome. Good for Maria. But now it’s time I make some life decisions of my own.
Albeit it, crazy ones, but still.
I needed to start living my life and move on from the past.
He continued to stare straight ahead, rolling his rocks glass in his hand. He finally spoke up. “Is this your way of asking me to be your best man because, if so, you suck at it?” A wave of laughter passed between us, instantly easing the tension. He didn’t agree with this decision, but he will be there to support me.
Erica’s arm snaking around my bare chest pulls me from the memory. Her touch, heck, her whole body, makes my skin feel hot with need. We are lying in the king size bed of this small hotel’s honeymoon suite. A thin white sheet covering our bodies. The ugly floral comforter is in a heap on the floor, along with our black non-traditional wedding attire and our two champagne glasses. The room reeks of alcohol, with three empty bottles of bubbly and wine resting on the table in the corner. As I run my fingertips up and down her arm, a low moan escapes her lips. “God, that feels good,” she whispers, sounding content.The rise and fall of her chest is slow and steady, a clear sign of how relaxed she is.
“Are you happy?” I ask as I take in the smell of her hair. It’s musky. Erica has never been one for anything “girly.” Another contrast with Maria.
Don’t think about your ex while your new wife is in bed with you on your wedding night. You idiot.
Turning towards me, her eyes are brimming with desire, while her messy hair and smeared makeup are proof of what we just did. “Yes, so happy.”
I plant a passionate kiss on her swollen lips as I turn her onto her back and climb on top of her. I rest my elbows on each side of her head, caging her in with my arms. Our lips break apart as I stroke her forehead with my thumb. We lock eyes, and time seems to stand still. Finally, she tilts her head to kiss me, and the world fades away again. And again. And again.
I get lost in my new life.
And my need to move on.
Chapter fifteen
January 2004
