Page 49 of All In
His shoulders slump, and he remains fixated on the ground. “My mom gave me your email address, and I thought that since I was in town, it might be nice to catch up. You’ve been emailing my mom?” he inquires, his gaze not leaving the ground, oblivious to my longing for his beautiful brown eyes to meet mine.
“Just a few times. You know how well your mom and I got along. And after, well …”—he nods his head, knowing what I’m about to say as I let out a long breath—“everything. I missed her. She was like a second mom to me.”
“She loved you.” He pauses as if this conversation is drudging up the past that he is trying hard to forget. “Has she seen pictures of Brielle?”
As we continue to walk along the path lined with colorful flowers, the gentle breeze brushes against my face. Glancing down at Brielle, I double-check to ensure she is well-wrapped and protected from any potential chill. He breaks the staring contest he was having with the ground, his eyes observing Brielle with an expression bordering on anguish.
And I know why.
He wishes Brielle was ours. From the beginning, our plan was to get married and build a future filled with little footsteps in our home. Sam wanted two kids, and I always wanted three. Our lighthearted banter about it became a recurring inside joke, with us pretending it could make or break us.
Little did we know whatwouldbreak our relationship.
Me. Young, stupid Maria who can never stand up for herself. Just thinking about that time causes a dullness to form in my chest, followed by a lump in my throat. I push it all down before I continue.
“She has. I sent her one recently.” He hums in response. “I heard you got married.” Without saying a word, he nods, his eyes never straying from thepath ahead. It’s slowly killing me that he won’t look my way. This tension and tight conversation is driving me nuts. The way we used to be with each other has dissolved, fading into the distance like the passing years. Breaking the ice is essential, and I have to figure out a way to do it.
“What’s her name? Cara?” I ask, nudging him in the side with my elbow. My face breaks into a smile as I pose the joke disguised as a question. His head snaps in my direction, and our eyes finally lock. I lose the smile, unable to determine if he’s mad, or…
Oh, geez. Did he marry Cara?
In the few emails that his mom, Elizabeth, and I exchanged, she avoided any mention of Sam’s wife. And I didn’t ask. She only mentioned that he was married, leaving the rest of his personal life a mystery.
Suddenly, the open air around us fills with the best sound—Sam’s contagious laughter. It’s so infectious that before we know it, we are both in hysterics.
Mission accomplished, tension is now broken.
“I guess that’s a no?” My question comes out in short bursts of laughter.
He shakes his head, regaining his composure. “No, I didn’t marry Cara.”
Thank God!
He continues. “Her name is Erica. And I’m not sure why the thought of marrying Cara made me laugh so hard, but it did.” A breathy huff escapes his lips. Coming to a sudden halt, he swivels around to confront me. “Can we start over? I feel like this started off … strange.”
“Sure,” I say with a genuine smile. With a giggle and a small wave, I offer a second greeting. “Hi, Sam.”
“Hi.” His face breaks into a large, toothy grin. “Can we maybe try that hug again?”
You bet.He doesn’t need to ask me twice.
Stepping towards each other, butterflies dance in my stomach at the thought of holding him again. Our arms wrap around each other, and it feels like….
Cominghome.
And it shouldn’t. My home is with Nate and Brielle. It’s a safe and secure home that is partially full of love. Brielle did that. But Sam … I know that if I had a home with Sam, love would be causing the walls to burst.
God, he feels so good.Wait! No, he doesn’t. This does not feel good.
In an instant, Sam tenses up, as he withdraws from our hug. The embrace is quick, as friends. A gesture I am grateful for because touching Sam, though only slightly, is … dangerous.
We start back on the path, and I can’t help myself. I need to know about the woman he married.
Is she pretty?
Is she good to him?
Is she better than me?
