Page 58 of A Conduit of Light
Chapter27
Karus
Wefell backinto the dark corridor,Viridis’sdoors mocking us in their silent black stone, the tops disappearing into the unfathomable ceiling above.Revich’sblue light was dim, barely illuminating his face.
“It’smy fault.Ishouldneverhave taken you.Ishouldn’t have let you see.Karus…”Hepulled me into his arms, repeating my name over and over, his hands brushing my face and hair, rough and shaking as his tears fell. “Thisis not what you are.Thisis not yourfault,Karus.Lookat me!”Heshook my head and my glazed eyes focused on him.
“Thisis not you.Doyou hear me?Donot go back.Donot fade again.Please.”Hepulled me to his chest, cradling my body with his, rocking gently as he whispered into the dark, “Pleasedon’t leave me, my love.”
Evenwith his desperate words,Ilet myself slip into the most welcome of black where pain wasn’t real, and where the truth of whatIwas could hurt my soul no longer.
Chapter28
Rev
Ipaced outsideof her room.
Itmust have been hours.
Itmust have beendays.
I’dbeen there for days, waiting for her to wake.
Ihad been waiting for some sign that she was going to get through this and return to where we had gotten to.
Shehad been waking.
Shehad remembered, and when she spoke my name…I’mnot sure howIheld myself together.
Therhyzolm.
She’dfound it.
Andit must have been helping.Holdingit, hiding it from me every time we met.Thatmust have meant she understood it was special.Thatmust have meant she had feltsomething.
Memoriesof the last time she faded ran through my thoughts, my own personal brand of torture.Myown personal ghost of memories, haunting, consuming all of my time, all of my soul.
ButIdeserved it.
Everysingle ounce of pain—it was all mine to bear—and the truth of it was,IknewIdid not bear it alone.Iknew that she held it still and it was all my fault.
Idid this to her.Iliedto her.
Forthe millionth time,Itried to go back.Itried to return to that one dusk, that one evening, and change it all.
ButI’venever possessed that power.
Noone does.
Andfor the millionth time,Iwished thatIwas enough to pull her back from those shadows.Iwished thatIhad saved her from everything.
ButIwasn’t.
AndIcouldn’t.
So,Isteadied myself to wait.
Icould do it again, if need be.
