Page 144 of A Baron of Bonds
“Is there any trial you had difficulty preparing?” I bit my lip, my curiosity distracting all other thoughts as I listened to him talk about his life as Baron. Something I wished I hadn’t missed.
He rubbed his neck in thought. “The first four I did for Clairannia and Figuerah were all…strenuous to complete. Usually, the Baron in training prepares them with the help of their mentor, but that obviously did not happen. I enlisted thehelp of anyone I could. Both Pompeii and Lia worked with me to prepare them. And I didn’t want to ask Clairannia and Figuerah to help in making their own trials, but they both insisted, and I lost that argument. It was…a difficult time.”
I swallowed, understanding exactly why. He’d given the trials to Clairannia and Figuerah when I had been lost to time for over a year. No mentor, no lover who could remember him. I shuddered, thinking again of what his life must have been like.
I watched his face fall as he laid his head back against the chair, eyes closed, squeezing my ankle as if grounding himself to me, unwilling to let me go.
I set my work to the floor and climbed into his lap, placing the little green ribbon of fabric that marked his place into the book and set it down on the floor.
I straddled him, tucking my knees on either side of his hips and pressed my chest to his, holding the sides of his face.
I kissed him once with a gentle press of my lips. “Rev,” I spoke softly, letting all of his pain into me through our bond, “take me with you. Don’t leave me out here to live through this on your own. I come down that dark path with you, remember?”
His eyes flashed open in black pools of torment as they flickered over my face rapidly, as if he was assuring himself I was truly there.
“Where are you?” I smoothed his dark waves from his forehead. “Tell me what you’re remembering.”
He tightened his grip at my waist and spoke softly, “I tried so many times to speak to you.” He bit down on his lips, squinting at me as tears brimmed in his eyes. “That day, the day they both would take the trials, I panicked. If they passed them as I knew they would, they would leave and another avenue of you returning to yourself would be gone. I didn’t care who woke you, I just wanted you back.” His voice cracked and he swallowed. “When channelers take their trials, the Baron cannot be therewith them. He cannot assist them in any way. They take at least half a day to complete, so I wandered the forest that day, hoping to calm myself down.” He looked past me, his eyes staring at the wall.
I brushed my thumb across his cheek, waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t, I kissed him again, bringing him back to me. “Where did you go?” I whispered.
He closed his eyes again, furrowing his brows in remembrance. “To the muddy lake. The one where I used to find mudcopper fish for Heimlen.”
He shook his head. The eyes that flashed back to me were dark, slipping a dagger into my heart as he spoke, a tear sliding down his cheek. “You were there. You were standing on the edge of the water with Moira, a long stick in your hand, swirling it in the mud like you knew. As if somehow, somewhere inside of your mind, you knew there were fish in that lake. And when I called your name, you smiled. It was the first one I’d seen in over a year.”
He pressed a hand to my cheek. “But your face fell the moment your eyes locked on mine. The moment you saw me there at the edge of the lake, you were gone again, and I had to leave you. I knew what came next. The panic, the unstable breathing, sometimes screaming. I didn’t want to leave you, but I’d only hurt you further if I stayed.”
I sought the strength to reply, finding what I needed in my rage of what was done, not to me, but to him. I sniffed and wiped at his cheek, declaring, “I would give up everysinglethread of my power to save you from this.” I tapped his chest over his heart, my lips trembling to release my words. “I know I can’t and I know you wouldn’t agree, but if I could give up my magic to go back, I would. Immediately, I would.” I pressed my forehead to his. “I cannot do this for you. No one can. So I will stay with you instead. For as long as you need, I will stay right here with you. Iwill hold you, I will kiss you, I will remind you that I am not lost. That I amnotleaving. That I love you, that I am yours.” I kissed him gently, whispering above his lips, “I promise, Rev, you will never go through that again.”
Wordlessly, he met my mouth, saying more with his kiss than he could by speaking. Sending love, and relief, and need straight to me. I welcomed all of it in to settle, blooming over my soul in that ever-present reminder of the lifeline held taut between us that had been growing for years and strengthened with each day.
Her voice camein the middle of the night.
“Are you there, Little Sprout?”
My eyes shot open, and I raised my head from where it had been nestled over Revich’s arm and tucked into his shoulder.
His breathing was deep, undisturbed by my movement. I considered leaving the bed and speaking with the Blightress away from him. But I had asked him to take me with him. I had asked that we go down our dark roads together, and so I stayed, wrapping my leg and arm over him, pressing my cheek to his chest.
He adjusted his arm in his sleep to wrap around me, and I answered silently, “Yes, I am here.” I watched the rise and fall of Revich’s breathing, my eyes adjusting to the dim glow of the fire we left burning each night.
There was a pause, and I searched for our connection, thinking she or I had let it go before I heard in my mind, “Something has happened. Will you tell me what it is?”
I wasn’t sure if she meant Ilyenna, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell her about that, so I answered, “What makes you think something has happened?”
“Your power has grown. Something has fueled it since this afternoon.”
I actually grinned, lifting my head to look at Rev, his face turned to the side, deep in slumber. I remembered the way he had loved me on the rug in front of our fireplace just hours before. I remembered how he kissed me, held me, worshiped every curve of my body before I’d done the same to him.
No, I was not at all surprised my power had grown since this afternoon.
I settled myself back onto his chest and returned, “It’s nothing you need to know about.”
I could hear her chuckle. “A secret you’d like to keep?”
“I keep all my secrets from you. You do not get any of them.”
“I’m sure there are a few I could dig around to find.”
