Page 50 of Straw and Gold
I climbed into bed, utterly exhausted, sated, and dreamy, knowing I’d drift as soon as my eyes closed on my pillow.
“Goodnight,” he whispered, landing a kiss on my forehead.
Emboldened by how softly he’d held me, I reached out for his forearm, rising to my knees. “Stay?” I whispered back.
“Morella,” he began, placing his hand over mine, “this is your bed and that is?—”
“I know,” I interrupted. “I know this is my bed and that is yours, but just…just until I fall asleep, will you stay with me?” I shifted my hand to his. “Please, Killian?”
His eyes roamed over my bed of tousled sheets and an array of pillows. He reached down, pulling a small, golden-tipped feather from the sea of white. He twisted the shaft for a moment between his fingers before deciding. “Alright. Just this once.”
I bit my lower lip in excitement and triumph as he gently lay my fallen feather on the side table. I hurried to the other side of my bed, pushing away the sheets and holding them up to finally welcome my husband next to me.
He slipped inside and I curled up instantly, the ease of his warmth and familiar scent of fresh grass flooding my senses in a serene relaxation I’d never known. I buried my head into his shoulder and neck, placing a simple kiss there before sighing and closing my eyes.
My mind began to fall, but I held on so tightly, just as he held onto me, his breathing steady and deep. I wondered when he’d leave. I wondered when he’d decide that was enough of me and return to his own bed to sleep alone—where he’d slept alone all the nights of our marriage.
I didn’t want him to go, nor did I want to fall asleep knowing that when I woke, he’d be gone again, and back to his usual coldness to every part of me I’d been offering him since our wedding vows.
Before too long, I couldn’t hold on. I couldn’t stay awake with him as hard as I tried.
His voice came soft in my hair, muffled as I drifted away to a place of deep rest. “Moh Dhóches,” he whispered in the dark. “…Moh Geràdah.”
My fate…My love.
CHAPTER 24
Killian
The nightmare didn’t come.The body, the bloody sheets, the terror of knowing what I’d uncover and that laugh of madness never came as I drifted unintentionally with Morella tucked into my arms.
As clarity settled in, my eyes flew open and I found myself in her bed, the dark still heavy, Morella still tangled up in my limbs. Irrational fear overcame me and I bolted from the bed, throwing back the sheets over her body, shaking her awake.
“Morella!”
She turned in half-sleep as I inspected her, searching for blood, wounds, anything indicating Céad had come calling.
“What is it?” she asked blearily, stretching her arms over her head.
I turned her and ignored her gasp as I inspected her wings. Was I still dreaming? Was this some new torture to find her asleep in my arms only to turn her over and find?—
“Killian!” she called, lifting her head in irritation. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“No wounds,” I managed to say, sliding my hands down her back, her hips, her legs—even lifting her foot to confirm she was unharmed.
She wrangled herself free of my gasp. “Of course not! Why would you think I’d be wounded?”
I pressed my palms to my eyes, regaining my breath in heavy inhales. My mind whirled with images I’d seen over and over again in my nightmares, repeating what I’d seen in the flesh a decade ago.
She was there, wrapping her arms around me, pressing my head to her chest. “I’m alright, Killian.” Her hands smoothed over my back. “I’m alright.”
I took one final breath, slowly pulling out of her grasp. I met her eyes in the dark. “I fell asleep. In your bed,” I mumbled.
I took several more breaths, letting myself be held before I calmly rose, reaching the edge of my bed and shaking out the neatly tucked sheets. “It won’t happen again,” I finished.
“But—” she began.
I turned instantly. “No, Morella. Itcan’thappen again. We cannot sleep together.”
