Page 57 of Straw and Gold
“And now, I’m here,” I echoed. I gently unfolded his midnight blue coat—the one I’d stolen from his wardrobe. “I have something for you.” Holding up the embroidered cuffs, I explained, “I’ve added some new details to this one. Wheat, to represent our bargain, and a threaded line that connects back to itself to represent our rings of marriage.”
His deep blue eyes narrowed and I backtracked quickly. “It’s just a pretty design and I wanted to find a way to thank you forwhat you’ve done for me these past six weeks.” I dared looking up. “Will you wear it for me?”
Something slipped in his face, but he caught it quickly, rising in silence to meet me as I held the sleeves out so he could slip his arms through. He adjusted the jacket, fixing the cuffs and tracing his fingers over the intricate design.
“You have many talents, Goldling,” he mumbled and I beamed, sticking close to his chest as I adjusted his shirt underneath.
“This suits you perfectly,” I cooed, patting down the lapel.
“You think me handsome, Moh Dhóches?”
I hummed. “No, my king.”
His brows rose and I laughed. “I think you too beautiful for such a common word. I think of you as a brilliant sun, heating every room you walk into. I think you to be fuckable in every sense of the word.”
His hand shot forward, grabbing the underside of my chin and lifting my head to meet his eyes. “Thismouthon you,” he gritted, pulling me closer still with a hand against the small of my back.
“Yes,” I breathed in a heated smile. “Thismouthon me.”
His eyes darted to my lips as they parted, begging for him to kiss me. Instead, his hand slid slowly down my neck and he released my back entirely. “Thank you, Morella. This jacket exceeds anything it was before you laid your hands upon it.”
I refused to move. “Is that all you’ll say?” I whispered.
“I have nothing more to discuss.”
I pulled him closer, my anger rising. “Well, I do. I have more to discuss with you.”
He pulled my hands away with heartbreaking tenderness and backed towards the study door. “I cannot do this.”
“Do what?” I shouted, following him.
“Our bargain still stands and I have nothing left to teach you except Céaduah. You may join me in my study in an hour if you wish to keep to your lesson tonight. If you don’t, I would not find fault in your?—”
“Don't do this,” I begged, darting around his large frame and blocking the study door. “Don’t turn away again. Don’t leave just because you can’t face what’s so clear between us, Killian.”
He glared at me, folding his arms. “We’ve been contracted into this marriage and made a bargain. There is nothing more?—”
I cut him off again. “Liar.”
His jaw clamped tight before he muttered, “Move from this door, Morella.”
“Not until you admit you love me.”
Shock lit his features and he dropped his arms. I continued with ferocity, my heart pounding and pleading. “Not until you tell me that I am not the only one in this marriage who has fallen because I love you, Killian. And Ineedyou, Killian. And I will be here—two weeks from now, five months, seven years—I don’t care how long you’ve planned for our marriage—for me, it’s forever. For me, it’s the only marriage I’ll know and you are the husband I want.” My voice finally cracked, but I swallowed it down, pushing away from the door and padding softly to him. “You are the husband I was fated to marry, and I’m tired of keeping this distance between us.”
I met his chest with mine, breathing in the scent of him and pressing my hands to his shirt. “It doesn't have to be the way it’s been.”
He grabbed my wrists in one hand, holding them away from his body. “It does,” he gritted.
“Why?”
“Because anything more…” He stopped, shaking his head. His face calmed, adopting that stony facade I was sick of seeing.“I have work left to do. Study if you wish. You may practice with me in an hour, as I said.”
With a cold stare, he gently pulled me aside, opening the yellow door.
He was leaving me. Regardless of what I’d confessed and what I claimed to know of his own feelings, he hadn’t acknowledged them at all.
In a daze I stepped back, unfurling my wings. My mind swirled with everything he’d said, with every way he’d looked at me, grumbled at me…kissed me, and I tried to piece together where I’d gone wrong.
