Page 50 of Chasing the Flame
“It’s the adrenaline,” Jettson says quietly, and I sneak a glance in his direction. “You look a little green around the gills, but it’s only the adrenaline. It’ll wear off. I’ll roll the window down, and you can try to relax a bit. Just take in the fresh air and breathe deeply.”
I swallow thickly, tears slipping silently down my cheeks. He always seems to know exactly what I need before I do. He rolls down the window, and I relish the cool bite to the air.
As the road winds and turns, I take in the trees surrounding us, grounding myself in the smells of the forest. Pine and oak, wet earth, a crisp and refreshing scent that dulls the ache in my chest. Music fills the cab of his truck, a soft melody that speaks of hope and renewal.
“I was silence in a screaming room, chained to the echoes of what he’d assume.
But the fire didn’t kill me—no, it taught me how to rise, now I’m dancing in the ashes of the life I left behind.
There’s a sky beyond the shadowed door, where love doesn't hurt and hands don’t war.
He said I’d never make it—said I’d break beneath the strain, but I found pieces of myself in every drop of rain.
So play me something golden, something clean, a song to wash away where I have been.
I’m not his ghost, I’m not his shame, I’m the dawn he couldn’t tame.”
Tears slip down my cheeks, and I quickly search the song on my favorite music app, adding it to my playlist so I can listen to it again. It resonated deep within my soul, sparking a kernel of something bright, something…hopeful.
As Jettson comes around the next corner, a gravel driveway appears. He follows the road until it turns to dirt and becomes rough enough to bounce me around in my seat. I grab the handle above my head, curious about where we’re going.
In about a mile, a small cabin comes into view. Evening light highlights its dark wood, giving it an ethereal glow and I’m already entranced.
When he parks the truck, I reach for the handle, ready to investigate where we’ll be staying. Jettson grabs hold of my hand, pulling my attention back to him. Our eyes collide, and I suck in a deep breath, feeling the shift in the atmosphere.
“Averie…” he says, his voice pleading and mournful. “I almost lost you.”
I don’t say anything, not because I disagree. No, it’s because I understand how close I came to dying.
He cups my cheek, his thumb swirling in lazy circles. I lean into the contact, relishing in the warmth of his skin against mine.
Jettson pulls back, and looks deeply into my eyes. He hesitates a moment, like he’s unsure of where to go from here. Then, with a deep breath he says, “There are two beds in the cabin…”
The words hit me in the face like a slap, and I move as far back as I can to get a better look at him. This is a side of Jettson I’ve never seen before. Vulnerable, hesitant, like he’s terrified he’s about to get his heart stomped on.
“I didn’t want to presume…” he trails off, clearing his throat and running a hand through his beard. “You’ve been through so much, and the last thing I want to do is put pressure on you.”
For some reason that sentence makes me angry, like he thinks I don’t know my own mind. I’ve been grappling with my feelings for weeks now, trying to reconcile the fact I’ve fallen in love with him.
“Jettson, stop.” I command, placing a palm on his chest in reprimand. “I could care less about separate beds.”
“No, I really think it’s for the best. At least for tonight, you need to process what happened—”
I storm out of the cab, just as the sky starts to turn dark. Thunder rolls in the distance, and in a matter of seconds it’s a downpour. I race toward the cabin, laughing as rain splatters on my face.
“Averie!” Jettson calls, and I laugh even harder, sprinting toward the tree line. I throw my head up, and let the water wash over me, sending a wave of gratitude in the air. I thank the god and goddess for keeping me safe. For bringing me here…with him.
I spin, and spin, letting go of every bit of emotion I’ve been holding onto. I feel it leave my body, the light seeping in and banishing the darkness. My laughter rings in the air, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve ever felt so carefree.
Then, electricity shoots up my spine, awareness flooding my skin like ripples of gooseflesh. I feel his presence, and I turn only to lock eyes with him.
He sees me, really sees me. Not for what I can give him, but for who I am. For the person Iwantto be. The realization sends a pang through my chest, followed by tears brimming at the corner of my eyes.
I’m soaked to the bone, but I don’t care. Ineedthis. I need to make him understand just how badly I need us.
I need to claim my power back, to take ownership of my body. This ismychoice.
Jettson’s still leaning against the hood of his truck. He looks so fucking good. He’s drenched, his shaggy locks sticking to his forehead, as his black shirt clings to his frame. I close the distance between us, shivering as the temperature drops close to chilly.
