Page 55 of Chasing the Flame
I choose a black pair of jeans, a deep burgundy T-shirt and my navy plaid jacket with the gray hood. Perfect for this cool day. “I’ll leave you to your privacy, I’m going to walk outside and check the firewood. I’ll wait for you, and we can take a walk when you’re finished. There’s a gorgeous spot I’m dying to show you, it’s not too far from here.”
A sigh of relief escapes me, and I smile. “That sounds amazing! I won’t be long.”
Jettson nods, and I turn around and start throwing on clothes as fast as I can. I’m itching to get out of here and grab some fresh air. The thought of going somewhere scenic and peaceful for even just a few minutes before reality comes crashing down is the perfect balm to soothe my worried heart.
When I exit the cabin, Jettson’s standing on the porch, leaning up against the bannister. “Ready to go? It’s maybe a ten minute walk at most, but I’m glad you have a jacket. You can tell fall is on the horizon.”
He shrugs on a black hoodie, and leads me down the steps. We head toward the right of the cabin, and to a patch of undergrowth. There’s no harsh light this morning, dark clouds still littering the expansive sky.
It’s quiet, so quiet that I can easily filter my thoughts and sort through the pent up emotions running through my veins.
There’s fear of what’s to come, of what it will take to face Luke in court, to see justice. There’s fear of the unknown variables that led me here. Fear of what he wants with me, of what he will do to me if he finds me.
Then, on the other hand there’s exhilaration. I finally feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be, with the person who understands me. We haven’t talked a lot about our pasts, or what we see for the future, but none of that seems to matter. I’ve been drawn to him like a mothto flame since the very beginning. It’s almost like… he’s where I was meant to end up all along.
I’m so caught up in my thoughts that I don’t realize we’ve made it to our destination. We’re at the edge of the lake, a rocky pebbly beach that expands into a wide pool of shimmering water. There’s a few mountains in the distance, their slopes lined with trees whose leaves are just starting to change.
It’s positively breathtaking, and exactly what I needed this morning. “I come here sometimes during the summer when I need a weekend away. It’s been a place of respite for a long time now, where I can find myself and let go of the things bothering me.”
“Are you in my head again? Jesus, get out,” I laugh, the sound echoing across the water.
He shrugs, and turns to stare out in the distance, taking his time with soaking up the experience. I do the same, giving myself five minutes to breathe and just be.
“Ya know, if you wanted to talk… about everything you’ve been through, I’m here for you. You know that, right?” Quiet and deliberate, his words disarm me in the gentlest way.
I turn to him, “I know, but I’m not ready to burden you with that cloud of darkness. Can we just… hold onto the light for a bit longer?”
Jettson smiles at me, nodding once before reaching for my hand and lacing our fingers together. It’s a sweet gesture that makes me realize how much was missing from my life.
Not wanting to ruin my peace, but also needing to understand I ask, “So, why is your father coming by? Not that I mind Elliot’s company.”
He gives me a look that can only be described as cautious. It’s like he’s afraid to bring it up. In the end he sighs, relenting as he says, “Well, Dad is coming by because I want to know what went down when he talked to Donald previously. I also need his advice on how to approachthe police with this. Not to mention, his guidance on how to stay off the covenants radar.” He pauses, frowning a little, “Plus… I think he knows more about you than he’s letting on. It’s not like him to keep secrets like this.”
The wind rustles the leaves in the trees, a big gust that whips through my hair. It feels like an omen, and a deep pang of dread settles into my bones.
“We should probably get back,” he mumbles, giving me a sad smile.
Neither of us want to face reality, but nothing good will come from sticking our head in the sand. I need to get a handle on my magic, and understanding of where I come from. I need to navigate the trauma that Luke put me through. Jettson needs closure: from Jenny’s death, from Luke’s psychological abuse, from his past with the military…
Both of us are broken and fucked up, neither of us pure or untainted from the hardships of life.
“Well, if he knows something that just means I’m one step closer to figuring out why my mother is lying to me.” I say slowly, not wanting to leave the safety of this serene place.
Jettson sighs, squeezes my hand gently and leads the way back to the cabin. There’s tension between us that wasn’t there before, and now I’m suddenly worried that there’s something wrong. Something that he suspects but isn’t ready to share.
My heart flutters in my chest, my stomach rolling in tumultuous waves. I have a terrible feeling that something is very wrong.
The closer we get to the cabin the worse it gets. I’m not sure what this feeling is, this certainty that Elliot has the information I’ve been looking for. Then, I remember Dahlia’s promise of information and my anxiety triples.
Just as we leave the thicket of trees Elliot’s black Ford pickup comes to a stop beside of Jettson’s truck. But, when I look closer, I realize Lucy is with him and I take off running toward her.
“I’m so glad you’re okay!” She exclaims, wrapping me in a tight hug. I fall into it, taking the comfort she gives me. I don’t even realize I’m crying until she pats my hair and says, “There there, everything’s okay. You are okay. We can sort everything else out later.”
I sniffle, “Thank you, I really appreciate you.”
She leans back to get a good look at me, her eyes furrowed in worry. After a few moments, she pats me on the cheek. Just like my mother always would when I was younger. “Come on, let’s get inside where it’s warm. I’ve brought lunch.”
“You’re a great friend, Lucy,” I say quietly, following her inside.
