Page 11 of I'll Catch You
“He seems like a genuine guy,” Walter offers. He conveys his take on Peter with his eyes. I agree. He is a genuine guy. He genuinely sees anopportunity.
“Thanks, Walter.” I wave goodbye and make my way back to my car. When I’m inside, I put my hands on the steering wheel and my forehead drops to them. Maybe Peter is worth listening to. Brynn is well taken care of from the life insurance policy my sister had. She was good at planning things and always prepared for the worst possible scenario. The only time she didn’t prepare lead her to having Brynn and it was the best thing that ever happened to her, and to me. But even though Brynn will be alright regardless of whether I sell or not, I am going to have to do it eventually, even if it isn’t right now. Even if it isn’t six months from now. But within a year, I believe, I will have to sell and I start to seriously entertain thethought.
I could come away from this and not have to worry about money ever again. I’d be set for life. But I don’t know if I would be happy without the restaurant my parents inherited from my maternal grandparents. I’d have Brynn to live for, but what about my own future? Every season, I’ve told myself, is going to be the season we turn everything around and the restaurant gets back into the black. It’s even happened a few times, but the feast and famine financial cycles are too tumultuous and it’s getting harder to handle them by theday.
But selling before I absolutely have to would feel like I was giving up. If I can just hold on a little while longer, I can convince myself that I’m not a quitter. I know that would make my parents proud. And mysister.
I don’t want to see Peter today. He reminds me that there’s more out there than just my humble little existence, and that’sscary.
I haven’t had a break in a while. Maybe I will call in sick today after all. I’ll go to the restaurant and drop off my purchase - dammit, Peter’s purchase - and tell Cassie I need her to cover for me today. We have two of our cooks coming in and if last Sunday is any indication of what today is going to be like, she’ll be more than able to handle itherself.
I start my car and let out a big breath. If I don’t see Peter today, I won’t have to tell him no. And I’m getting tired of saying no. I’ve been saying no for far toolong.
