Page 63 of Don't Love the Boy Next Door
That makes me laugh.
Chapter Twenty
Ethan
I drop my gym bag on the floor and pull the fridge open for some water. After gulping half the bottle down, I plunk down on the kitchen chair. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what happened last night. Phoenix didn’t even give me the chance to explain why I pretended to be someone else online. At school today, she avoided me like the plague. She must have come to school right before first bell and skipped history class so she wouldn’t have to look at me. And she and Katie weren’t in the cafeteria during lunch.
I feel really bad about the whole thing. Pretending to be someone else online wasn’t cool. But at the same time, I’m happy I did it. We had a lot of fun chatting and playing together. She actuallytalkedto me, unlike real life.
Still, it wasn’t right, and she hadn’t given me the chance to explain. Apologizing doesn’t seem to be enough. But maybe I deserve this.
I don’t know why it’s so important for her to forgive me. She was my enemy. But things were looking good between us before I told her the truth. Was it a mistake to be honest with her? No, I don’t regret that.
Maybe we’ll never move past this.
“You look like crap,” Eric says as he walks into the kitchen, guitar in hand. He must have been practicing in the basement. At least one of us is in a good enough mood to jam. I’m so relieved we don’t have band practice today because I would pretty much drag us all down.
Why do I care so much?
Eric flops down next to me. “What’s up?” He studies my face. “Does this have anything to do with Phoenix? Was shethatmad at you?”
I nod. After she stormed into her house, I entered mine and locked myself in my room. Didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just sat there, replaying it over and over in my head, wondering if I should have gone about it differently.
“She looked like she wanted to kill me,” I tell him.
He blows air from his cheeks. “You expected this. I mean, you can’t really blame her.”
“She didn’t even give me a chance to explain. And I couldn’t catch her today. I’d text her to meet me so we could talk, but I’m pretty sure she blocked my number. She deleted all my comments on her videos and removed me from her friend list on games.”
He doesn’t say anything as he plays with his guitar strap. Then he says, “That’s rough. Maybe she needs some time.”
I shake my head. “Phoenix doesn’t forgive that easily. I hurt her and I doubt she’s ever going to talk to me again.” I sit back. “And I don’t even know why I care so much. If she wants to hate me, let her hate me. But…” I shake my head again.
“You care because you don’t like hurting people.”
I don’t say anything as I think it over. That might be true, but there’s something else there, something I don’t really understand.
I get to my feet. “I’m going for a run.”
I’m a bit tired from football practice, but I push myself because I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to think about her all the time, to be so distracted that I keep messing up the things that matter to me. Like practice this afternoon. Coach was hard on me, but he had a good reason. I sucked, let the entire team down. And it’s weird because I’ve never messed upby practice because of a girl. Even when Charlotte and I fought, I never brought that with me to football.
I pass Katie’s house and stop in my tracks as I glance at her bedroom window. The shade is shut. Peering into the other windows, I can’t find either girl. Maybe that’s for the best. If Phoenix caught me looking into the house, she’d call me a creep and stalker.
I continue my run, the sweat dripping down my face. I should probably take it easy, give my body a chance to recover after practice, but I don’t. I push harder until my legs are on fire and beg me to stop. Bending over, I try to catch my breath, but my lungs feel like stone as I try to yank in some oxygen.
I need to forget about her and pretend none of this happened. Because if I don’t, I might mess up the chance to follow my dreams.
But as I run back home, I can’t let it go. Just can’t. She deserves an explanation. Then she can be done with me for good.
As I reach my front door, my phone rings with a video call from Charlotte. I’m not really in the mood to talk to her, but I can’t ignore her, either. We’ve been texting a lot, and I feel close to her again.
“Hey,” I say.
She squints at me, then makes a disgusted face. “You’re all sweaty.”
I give her an empty smile. “Went for a run. What’s up?”
She shrugs, smiling that smile that I usually love. Now I just feel…nothing. “Was thinking about you. I really miss you.”
