Page 75 of Don't Love the Boy Next Door
“Fine,” I mutter before entering and helping Ethan set up. All three of us sit at the table and start eating. No one says anything. Ethan’s busy devouring his food, Mom’s staring at the spot before her, and me? Well, I can’t stop thinking about how different Mom’s life would be if Dad chose to be a dad and not a musician.
But at the same time, I’m proud of him for following his dreams. I share those dreams of being a musician, of touring, of performing for sold-out audiences.
Would Mom’s life be better had she never met my father? Ethan and I wouldn’t exist, but aside from that, she probably wouldn’t be working these crazy hours. She’d be happy.
But she’s not, all because she married my dad, then divorced him because being with him was too painful. He chose the band over her. I know she still loves him. Maybe he even loves her, but they couldn’t make it work.
My fork freezes in the air. Is that how it’ll be between Katie and me? I want to follow in my dad’s footsteps, want to travel the world….but what about the girl I’m falling for? Will I leave her home alone, crying after me like my mom did? Will she spend her whole life waiting for me and not really living?
We’re only in high school and it’s a bit too early for me to be thinking about us spending the rest of our lives together, but I feel like it could happen with Katie. She’s the only girl for me, I know it.
My parents fell in love in high school, too. And look what happened to them.
Do I want to put the girl I love through that? Will she be like my mom and still cry after me years later?
I can’t…I can’t put her through that. I’ve been waiting for that special girl for a long time, and now that I have her, I realize that all I’m going to do is make her life miserable.
Katie would push me to follow my dreams, sacrificing her own feelings. No, I can’t. I won’t. She’s such a special person and deserves someone who will treat her like the queen she is. Not someone like me who’ll push his music before her.
What was I thinking? Of course I can’t be with her. As much as this tears me apart from the inside, I have to end things beforethey get too hard, before Ihurther. Because the deeper we fall into a relationship, the more it’ll hurt us.
Mom sighs, picking at her food.
My eyes burn with tears as I think about breaking Katie’s heart. But it’s for the best. I don’t want to hurt her, but I have no choice.
I can’t be the guy she needs.
After dinner, I drag myself up to my room and drop down on my bed. My stomach is rolling over itself, my brain trying to convince me not to do this. But Ihaveto. I don’t want to be like my dad—having to choose between the woman he loves and his career. I don’t want Katie to end up like my mom, who pretty much walks around like a zombie most of the time.
My phone dings with texts from Katie. She’s sent quite a few during dinner, but I haven’t read any. But as I lie here, I can’t take it anymore and sweep my phone out of my jeans.
Katie: So this math is really killing me. I’d rather hang out with you.
Katie: Please take me out of my misery.
Katie: Oh, right. You’re eating dinner, we’ll text after.
Katie: Eric, are you okay? It’s been an hour and you haven’t responded to any of my texts.
Katie: Eric? You there? Did something happen? You’re probably working on a song, huh?
Rolling around on my bed, I drop my phone and shut my eyes. My eyes burn some more, but I push all of that away. I can’t let my emotions control me. I need to do this. It’s the only way to ensure she’ll live a good and happy life.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Katie
My cheeks haven’t stopped hurting since band practice last night. I’m in a daze as I get ready for school the next morning. I hardly pay attention to Phoenix on the bus ride to school, and I gather the wrong textbook for my first class. Phoenix chuckles every so often, teasing me how cute I am. I’ve never had a boyfriend before, so this is all new for me. Although…boyfriend? Eric and I haven’t established anything yet. I can’t wait until we make it official.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and scan the screen. No texts from Eric. It’s a little odd that he hasn’t returned any of my texts last night or this morning. It’s probably because he’s busy finishing up the last song for the concert.
Every part of me is on pins and needles to see him again. I mean, we just saw each other last night, but I miss him. A lot. I tell Phoenix I’ll catch up with her later and make my way to the student parking lot. Most of the kids have already arrived, so the place is packed with cars. I scan them, trying to locate Eric’s. It’s possible he’s already here, but wouldn’t he have texted me or something? A bit of worry pricks my insides, but then I relax when I don’t see his car or Ethan’s motorcycle. They haven’t come yet.
The truth is, I thought Eric would offer to take me to school, but he didn’t contact me. Again, a bit of worry creeps up my neck, but I tell myself I’m stressing out over nothing. Maybe the Palmer twins overslept and are running a little late.
My body perks up when I catch sight of a motorcycle down the street, a familiar-looking dark car following behind. I wave as Eric passes by, but I don’t think he sees me. He gets out ofthe car and Ethan climbs off his bike, and they make their way toward the school building, laughing and joking like brothers do.
Ethan notices me and slaps Eric’s chest, nodding in my direction. When Eric’s gaze flits to me, I wave and give him a huge smile. He returns the smile, though it doesn’t look like an excited one. But that’s probably because I can’t see so well from such a distance.
