Page 10 of Bound to a Highland Beast
She knew what it was like to lose one’s parents. She knew the pain and the grief that came with it, which never truly faded, but at least she had met hers, she remembered them, she had something of them.
“But then she died, too,” Tiernan said and it was then that he choked up a little, swallowing with an audible click. “She… she was very old. We both kent she didnae have many years but she always hoped she would live long enough tae care fer me until I could care fer meself.”
“But she didnae?”
Tiernan shook his head.
Isabeau couldn’t even begin to grasp the enormity of losing three loved ones in such quick succession and being left all alone in the world. At least when her parents had died, she had had her brothers and her extended family. From the sound of it, Tiernan had no one. After his grandmother’s death, he had been left all alone to fend for himself, a child who could do little other than steal to survive.
“I’m sure ye can imagine the rest,” he said. “The world isnae particularly kind tae orphans.”
Isabeau couldn’t imagine how the world could be such a cruel place. She didn’t want to think of Tiernan’s words as true, but the proof was right there, in front of her. Besides, how many times had she seen orphans in the villages she had briefly visited while travelling to other clans? How many of them had she seen in the streets, cold and hungry and neglected by everyone around them? And every time, when she tried to help, to offer some food or coin, the villagers were often quick to caution her against it, claiming they would only pester her for more.
The world was heartless. She had always known there were bad people, killers and thieves and men who hurt their wives, but she had never given much thought to the casual cruelty displayed by people. The product of that cruelty was sitting in front of her.
“I’m sorry, Tiernan,” Isabeau said softly. She stood from the cot and even as pain shot up her legs when she walked over to him, she did not grimace as she sat down on the floor next to him, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. Immediately, Tiernan flinched as though he expected something much worse than a gentle touch, but just as Isabeau was about to withdraw her hand, thinking she had made a grave mistake, he relaxed into it with a deep sigh.
“It is what it is,” he said. It was as though a wall surrounding him had been erected once more, hiding the vulnerability he had just shown her. Isabeau didn’t know how he could do it. She could hide her pain, but every other emotion was often plainly written on her face, while Tiernan was a blank wall. “Anythin’ else ye wish tae ken?”
Isabeau had spent enough time playing the diplomat that she knew when it was time to let go of a subject and change the direction of the conversation. Insisting on talking about Tiernan’s family would only hurt him more, so she tried to think of another question to ask him.
“The sword,” she said. “What were ye talking about with Beag?”
Tiernan chuckled, though it wasn’t a particularly humorous sound. “It was me faither’s,” he said. “Beag stole it an’ I tried taepurchase it back from him. I really did. I dinnae even ken why I tried tae pay fer it. I was already a thief by then, but I… I dinnae ken. I suppose I thought Faither wouldnae be very happy with me if he kent I was a dishonorable man an’ that was me way o’ atonin’ fer it. But he was bein’ unreasonable with the price. I think he simply didnae want me tae have it.” He shook his head as though he could hardly believe it himself. “When Beag wouldnae give it tae me, I tried tae steal it an’ he caught me.”
Just like that, Isabeau was outraged.
“What dae ye mean?” she asked, jaw clenching hard as she stood, her indignation almost uncontainable. “He stole it from ye! An’ then he had the nerve tae be angry that ye tried tae steal it back? That’s yer sword! It belongs tae ye!”
Isabeau’s voice echoed off the crumbling walls as she shouted, loud enough to cover the sound of the wind. For a moment, Tiernan gaped up at her, too surprised by her outburst to say a thing, but then he burst out laughing.
It was Isabeau’s turn to be surprised. He was laughing and laughing, his entire body shaking with mirth, and she found her anger evaporating, quickly replaced with confusion. She didn’t think this was a laughing matter at all. Beag Sinclair had wronged him and now he had the gall to force him to work for him when he had been the one to steal the sword in the first place.
Slowly, Tiernan recovered, his laughter fading. He rubbed a hand over his face, gathering his bearings, and then when he looked up at Isabeau, there was still amusement in his eyes.
“Well, he isnae exactly an honest man,” he pointed out. “Anyway, he didnae steal it himself. One o’ his men did an’ then it got tae his hands. So I suppose he doesnae see it the way ye dae.”
“That makes nae difference,” Isabeau insisted. “That sword is rightfully yers!”
Tiernan leaned back on his hands, looking up at Isabeau with a smirk. For a moment, she forgot all about her anger, struck by the handsome picture he made like that, in that frankly cocky stance, under the soft light of the morning sun. Even disheveled as he was after a trek in the woods and a night on the floor, his beauty and his charm stopped Isabeau dead in her tracks until she couldn’t look away from him.
It must have been some kind of sorcery, she decided. Surely, no one looked that good first thing in the morning, and she was beginning to feel self-conscious about her own looks as she gazed at him. What did she look like? There were no maids around to fix her hair, no one to powder her nose, no one to bring her a new, clean outfit.
Och! I dae hope he doesnae find me repulsive! But then, why should I care?
She was losing sight of what was important just because Tiernan had a way with charming people. It went past his looks. There was a certain quality to him, to the way he smiled and the way he looked at others, which made him instantly likeable to women. Isabeau had caught glimpses of it in the castle, the maids who often approached him, but she had never thought she would fall victim to the same trap.
I must focus! This isnae the time fer an infatuation!
The time for an infatuation was in the castle, when she was too bored by everything else and needed something to occupy her mind. Now, with this danger looming over them, she had to think about survival for the first time in her life.
As if on cue, her stomach grumbled loudly and immediately, her cheeks heated in embarrassment. Tiernan only chuckled, pushing himself up to his feet.
“I believe we must find ye somethin’ tae eat, me lady,” he said. “I would hate tae see ye waste away because I neglected yer needs.”
This isnae helpin’!
If only Tiernan knew the effect his words had on her. But no, that would be terribly embarrassing, Isabeau thought. The last thing she needed was for him to find out that she was starting to be a little too curious about him.
