Page 57 of Scot of Deception
But he would always love her; he had said so himself.
Wrapping her arms around Blaine’s neck, Kathleen pulled him closer, finally giving in entirely to her desire. If this was the last time she could have this with him, then she wanted to make it count. She wanted to etch every moment in her memory—every touch, every brush of his lips on her skin, every soft breath that escaped him as they writhed against each other. Dragging one hand around his neck, Kathleen traced the contours of his jaw with a gentle finger, feeling the rough stubble under it. Then, she traced the sharp bridge of his nose, the arch of his brow, the slight curve of his hairline over his forehead.
It was an attempt to commit every single detail to memory. Eventually, all of his features would fade in her mind, leaving nothing but the vague shape of him and the knowledge that they had once loved one another.
Strong arms wrapped around Kathleen’s waist and Blaine lifted her off her feet, carrying her to the bed. He laid her gently down onto the mattress, his lips still burning a path down her neck and over her chest as she ran her hands through his hair, tugging at the dark strands. When Blaine pulled back to tear off his shirt, Kathleen reached for him, dragging her hands down the length of his torso, all the way to the trail of soft curls on his stomach. He arched into her touch, his hands coming to rest over hers for a moment, before he brought them to his lips to press a tender kiss to her knuckles.
Kathleen had to fight back the tears. She swallowed in a dry throat, shutting her eyes firmly for a moment to rid herself of the thought that they would soon have to part. As Blaine began to undo her dress, pulling it down her shoulders and off her body, she drew in a deep breath and steeled herself, but nothing could have prepared her for the adoring look in his eyes as he gazed at her, like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. His hands roamed all over her body, his touch like a branding iron over her breasts, her torso, her hips. When he reached her thighs, he spread them apart and settled between them, dragging his gaze down to her core.
Any other time, Kathleen would have squirmed uncomfortably under that gaze, too embarrassed to be seen like that. But she let Blaine look at her as much as he pleased, knowing he was doing the same thing she was trying to do—commit everything to memory in the hopes that he would always remember her.
No words were exchanged between them. Blaine only leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips, then kissed his way down her chest and the swell of her breast to draw one of her nipples in his mouth. Kathleen arched against him, the sudden jolt of pleasure finally easing some of the pain inside her. Heat pooled deep in her core, her desire enveloping her like bright flames, and when Blaine finally reached between her thighs to drag a finger over her damp opening, she couldn’t help but shiver in response, that mere touch enough to coax more wetness out of her.
Slowly, Blaine plunged that finger inside her, and Kathleen couldn’t stop the moan that tumbled past her lips. Her back arched off the mattress, her body seeking out more pleasure, her mind desperate to be freed from the shackles of her sorrow. When Blaine draped his body over hers, his free hand sliding under her waist to hold her close as he pleasured her, Kathleen wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on to him for dear life, her nails digging into his skin. It was this closeness which she desired more than anything—more than the pleasure, more than Blaine’s body on hers. It was these last few moments of proximity that she could have with him and the intimacy that came with them. The physical pleasure, though very welcome, was secondary.
“I want ye inside me,” Kathleen said, gathering all her courage to admit those words. “I want… I want tae feel ye inside me one more time.”
Blaine groaned against her neck, nodding fervently. “Let me get ye ready first,” he said as he pushed a second finger inside her. Every drag of his fingers against her walls, every push of them against that sensitive spot deep inside her had Kathleen gasping for air and shaking with need, every part of her craving more.
She endured that sweet torture, her legs opening wide as Blaine pumped his fingers deep inside her, intent on making her fall apart first before he gave her what she wanted. Under those skillful fingers, it didn’t take long for Kathleen to reach her peak—not when Blaine pressed insistently against hersensitive spot both from without and from within, his palm slamming repeatedly against her mound.
As her orgasm crashed over her, Kathleen shook and moaned his name, pleasure coursing through her entire body. Blaine worked her through it, one hand extending her pleasure as the other held onto her, and Kathleen could do nothing but surrender to the warm feeling of contentment as the aftershocks crashed one by one over her like the waves of the sea.
By the time she came back to herself, Blaine was pressing soft kisses to her shoulder, his hand petting her thigh soothingly.
Still, it was not enough for Kathleen. With trembling hands, she reached between them to tug at Blaine’s trews, desperately trying to push them down his hips. With a soft chuckle, Blaine pulled back to undress himself completely, his manhood straining against his stomach as he took himself in hand, stroking his length. Kathleen watched him with lidded eyes, reaching out to brush the tips of her fingers over his torso and hips, feeling every slight twitch of muscle as Blaine leaned down to kiss her once more.
Kathleen embraced him tightly, arms wrapping like a vice around him as Blaine finally gave her what she had craved for so long. Ever so slowly, he lined himself up with her entrance and pushed inside, her walls parting with ease for him. By the time he was buried inside her to the hilt, Kathleen was gasping for air, clawing at his back as she was filled to the brim.
Blaine groaned against her lips, pulling her into a hungry kiss as he began to move. There was no hurry in his movements—if anything, he was working slowly, languishing in each thrust as if he never wanted the moment to end. They were both trying to prolong the inevitable, Kathleen knew. They both wanted to be lost in the moment forever, to hide from the world and not let anyone separate them.
This is all we’ll have. This is all we get.
And if she ever managed to find a man to wed, someone who would accept her despite the fact that she was ruined, then she could only hope Blaine’s ghost wouldn’t linger forever between them.
As he buried himself deep inside her, Blaine’s hand found Kathleen’s and he laced their fingers together. His other hand cradled her cheek tenderly, his green eyes boring into her own as he took her, and with every passing moment, Kathleen was confronted with the deep sorrow and regret that Blaine carried inside him. She was desperate to soothe him. She was desperate to tell him that in the end, everything would be fine, but she couldn’t find the words or the actions.
After all, it would be nothing but another lie.
All she could do was hold tightly onto his hand and wrap her legs around his waist, clinging to him for as long as she could.
Pleasure flowed and ebbed inside her, every thrust of Blaine’s hips bringing her once more, closer and closer to the edge. Her core throbbed with need, Blaine’s heated gaze only serving to intensify her desire until it was all too much to bear. Her second climax washed over her, tearing a cry out of her throat that she immediately muffled with her hand as she clenched tightly around Blaine’s length. In return, Blaine moaned her name, his next thrusts turning erratic as he, too, chased his release, finally reaching it with a grunt as he pulled back to spill over her thighs.
Afterwards, he collapsed next to her, slinging his arm over her waist. Kathleen lay there, staring at the tall ceiling above with an unseeing gaze, lost deep in her thoughts.
Any other time, she would have curled up against him and accepted the warmth of his embrace, the comfort of it. This time, though, her limbs felt as though they were made of lead, heavy and immovable—and so did her heart.
Slowly, almost reluctantly, she pushed herself up to a sitting position, avoiding Blaine’s gaze. Then, she took a deep breath and stood, gathering her clothes to quickly put them back on. She was too vulnerable now to be seen like this; she needed an armor, something to protect her from more harm.
“I’d like ye tae leave,” she said with her back turned to Blaine. She didn’t think she could bear it if she turned around and caught another glimpse of him. She didn’t think he could bear it either, and so she decided to show them both some mercy by trying to make the separation as painless as possible. “I… I’m sorry, but I’d like tae be left alone.”
For a long time, Blaine didn’t speak. Kathleen couldn’t even hear him move, but she didn’t turn around to check what he was doing. She counted her breaths—one, two, three, four, five. It was only then that Blaine spoke.
“If this is about yer faither?—”
“It’s about more than me faither,” Kathleen said. “Obviously, he will never allow us tae be together, we both ken that. But I also cannae trust ye after all this.”
“I’m still the same person,” Blaine said. “Naethin’ has tae change.”
