Page 19 of Surrender: XXX Maxim
He winds the chain between two fingers, and I go rigid, shaking my head frantically.
“No! No!”
“You want it.” He tugs so hard my body lurches across the marble. As if from far away, I hear a scream echo off the walls, nearly drowned out by my own hammering heartbeat. The next thing I know, I’m quivering in a ball, my head resting against a thick, hard thigh propped beneath it. Soothing and tender, warm fingers run through my hair as a deep voice offers endless praise.
“So good for me. Always so good… More than I wanted—always more I want to do to you. But fuck you make me…”
Crazy. In the same way, he makes me mindless. His words dissolve into meaningless grunts as he slides his hand between my legs, hissing at what he finds.
Soaking, aching flesh—his to claim. His to take.
He has me in his arms within seconds, moving too quickly for me to process his next actions in order. We’re racing down the hall. Then crashing inside the bedroom. I’ve barely regained my senses when I land on the bed face down as his weight slams against my back.
Panic sets in before I can smother it. He’s crushing me. But then his fingers sink into my hair, grasping a fistful that he uses to wrench my head back, allowing me to suck in air as he nudges my legs apart. I quake from head to fucking toe, assaulted by too many sensations at once to pinpoint them individually. His weight. His skin rasping over mine. The pull of the chain swaying against my chest, enhancing every single fucking movement to an agonizing degree.
And finally, his cock rips into me, demolishing every other feeling like a wrecking ball.
My eyelids flutter as I focus solely on breathing, allowing my body to adjust to his size.Massive.He thrusts in hard without restraint, hissing out his pleasure. Jolted by every bucking motion of his hips, I wind up lying on parts of the chain, straining others, and I lose track of the sounds I make. My throat aches, throbbing and raw as he grips my hips, fucking me in earnest.
If I were a normal lover, he would hurt me, there is no question. But his voice drips into my ear, an awed growl, revealing the difference that makes me just as deranged as he is. “So wet for me.” He inhales sharply and then groans with another brutal thrust. “Always so wet for me.”
His mouth finds my ear, nipping at the lobe as his mangled, grunted words punctuate the movement of our bodies. “You know what I need, don’t you? You give it to me. You take me… Fuck! You aim to tame me…”
I close my eyes, savoring the violent contrast of gnashing teeth, and broken groans, and sweat as his body ruthlessly claims mine. The sex isn’t about pleasure—I know that. I’m climaxing anyway, biting a mouthful of sheets to silence my cries as every muscle goes taut. I see stars, speckling my vision as he grunts, slamming inside me one final time.
His release is that in every sense of the word. The tension leaves him as he collapses beside me. His fingers remain in my hair, preventing me from facing him. The heat and sweat of his body assault me in an overwhelming barrage as his mouth finds my shoulder, his teeth teasing the flesh.
“You can fuck me like this,” he says, almost amused despite the growl reverberating in my skin. “Let me use you any way I fucking want—” His finger slips beneath me, teasing a length of the chain just enough to make me shudder. “But if I offer you more, you hesitate. And yet when I refuse to give you an empty fucking vow…you challenge me.”
I’m too exhausted to move, awed by his tone—part sated lust, part smoldering fury.
“Do you want me to marry you?” he wonders musingly. “Or collar you? State your preference now, so I know whether to offer you a ring or a leash. Say it. No?” He chuckles while I pant, too breathless to reply. “I’ll tell you what it is you crave. Ignorance. For years you wore yourself down caring for your siblings. They’ve drained you—so you chase any vice you can find to take the pain of it all away. To let the world crush you rather than spend your energy carrying the weight of it on your shoulders. I make it easy for you.” His lips brush my shoulder, a mocking kiss. “Don’t I? You question my intentions for marrying you, but I have no doubts as to what I want. But what is ityouwant from me? Tell me what happened at the club was a lie.”
Was it? The other day feels like another lifetime now—coming to him of my own volition. Promising complete and total surrender. Have I been lying all along like Lucius insinuated?
“No,” I admit, uttering the truth as much to myself as to him. “I meant it.”
“So perhaps it isn’t fear then,” he suspects with a puzzled grunt. “Tell me what you want from this, if protection isn’t good enough to tempt you.”
“I want…” Not for the first time, I don’t even recognize the sound of my own voice. This new, braver stranger must have been born in the aftermath of Sevastyn’s death—like watching the whole gory affair killed something inside of me as well. Or awoke something. Something so deviant it thrills at the agony only he can arouse within my body. “I want clarity,” I tell him. “About everything.”
Everything I can discover about Maxim Koslov and what makes him tick—and not out of mere curiosity either. Maybe because his anger matches mine—the horrific magnification of the twisted shit I never faced within myself before him. The flaws only he has ever called me out on.
The selfishness.
The self-hatred.
The blind, consuming rage.
I could be the world’s most pathetic masochist, thriving off the manifestations of my own internal bullshit. But I’d be lying to myself if I accept that explanation—the easy solution to what exactly draws me to him.
Because even now, I’m not really afraid. My heart may be racing, palms sweating, and my entire body tense on red alert. But deep down, the real name to call this emotion by could be…excitement. Guilt. Jealousy.
As long as he feels the twisted, dark shit festering beneath the surface of his soul…
I don’t have to face my own.
“Clarity, how? Answer me.” He grips my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze, but there’s no real strength in the contact. He merely eyes me as if I’m a mirror, utilized the same way I might be using him.
