Page 63 of Control: XXX Vadim 1
He holds out the door for me, but as I pass him and enter the passenger’s side, I suck in a breath, chilled to the bone. He’sangry. Furious.
My heart pounds as he claims the driver’s seat, his expression a mystery in the dark.
“Did you really do it?” I croak as he slams on the gas, sending us careening down the driveway. “Did you kidnap a little girl?”
I don’t sound anywhere near as horrified as I should. Maybe because I already know the answer before he clenches his jaw, his gaze fathomless.
“Yes.”
He did. A man who seems to enjoy needling his brother through any means had no qualms with using a child as a pawn in their game. But is it really so simple?
“Why?” I ask, struggling to understand.
He shrugs, and his haughty chuckle should give me my answer. “Take your pick of one of the many horrific explanations circling your brain,” he suggests coldly. “You know my past. I’m sure you’re jumping to that conclusion—”
“Don’t you dare.” I square my jaw and shift to face him though he doesn’t look from the road once. “Don’t insult me. Don’t shut me out. You did it. I’m willing to hear why. So tell me.” Something in how he stiffens makes me add, “I know you wouldn’t hurt her… You wouldn’t.”
Maybe it’s naive, but when I picture him with Zzazza—his affinity for such an innocent creature—I can’t see him hurting a child, not even to spite Maxim. Even as I watch, he flinches at the insinuation, betraying his own disgust at the accusation.
“You didn’t,” I insist, surer of that by the second. “I want the truth.”
“I…” He deflates, his posture wavering. “I wanted to know,” he finally confesses, his voice soft. “I wanted to know.”
“What?” I whisper. Gathering up enough nerve, I tentatively stroke his forearm. He’s as rigid as stone, stiffening against me. “Tell me.”
He laughs, and his wall comes up in record speed. Stunned, I recoil, withdrawing from him.
“Don’t pretend like you aren’t suspecting what I know you are—”
“Stop it!” I lower my hand, this time resisting the impulse to recoil. “Stop pushing me away.”
“Why?” he counters, more harshly than ever.
“Because I know you,” I say simply, though deep down, I know how false that statement may be. But in some ways, it’s not. I feel it in a way I’ve never been so sure about anything before. Jim was an asshole. Vadim is far from it—though he likes to play the part of one. “I don’t think you would hurt a child. Not with the way you treat Zzazza—and if you did, I think Maxim would have killed you,” I add with a hard swallow. “You had to have a reason, and I’d like to think it’s deeper than trying to spite your dick of a brother.”
He goes silent, still stewing. Still brooding. Still so very angry.
But as his eyes flicker from the road for an instant, I sense for the first time that I’m not who he’s angry at. Not by a longshot.
“I wanted to know,” he reiterates, his voice a hollow rasp. “If I… How… If I could be around her. If she could sense that I was broken. If I had made the right choice. And I did then. I know I did. Iknow.” His voice breaks, conveying such pain…
Tears prick my eyes before I can fight them back, drawn by the fierceness of his reaction.
“The choice to what?”
“To leave her,” he says, devoid of any emotion. “To abandon her. I let her go. I had to… I had to.”
I don’t think he’s talking about Maxim’s little girl anymore—or anyone I’m familiar with. Another woman? I don’t have the heart to ask about her now. He’s more distant from me than ever.
“Vadim?” I brush my hand along his forearm.
He wrenches away from me violently, and the car jolts sideways with the force of his reaction. I brace my hand against the dashboard as he navigates through the city, and after what feels like an eternity, we finally reach his home.
He parks and leaves the car before I can get my bearings. I’m forced to trail him into the house, unsure of whether to even stay.
Vadim is gone. His body may be here, but his soul is eons away. I risk whispering his name, but he doesn’t even look at me. He crosses to the bar and hunches over it, his face in his hands, his body trembling.
“You should eat something,” I suggest, taking a tentative step forward.
