Page 24 of Words I Couldn't Say
“YOU SURE YOU DON’T WANTto come with me?” I asked Tawni for the hundredth time since I’d received my report date to go film in Cincinnati.
According to Martin, before selling the movie rights, the author had insisted the entire film be shot in the city where it was set. Because I’d read the book, I completely understood. The city was central to Abby and Trevor’s love story, and there’s no way it could have been filmed anywhere else. Even though I’d second-guessed it quite often since Martin had informed me of this, I was excited to return to my hometown. I was also terrified and didn’t want to do it alone.
Tawni’s laughter did little to ease my nerves when she pulled up to the drop-off zone at LAX. When she put the car in park, she angled towards me, her eyes dancing with amusement. “As much as I’d love to witness this reunion in person, I think I’d be too much of a distraction—which is the last thing you need when seeing him again for the first time. But you better tell me every single detail later.”
I sighed. “I don’t even know if there will be a reunion, Tawni. He’s avoided me every other time I’ve visited Cincinnati. I have no reason to believe it will be any different now.”
“Thenmakehim see you. Do whatever you have to, girl, but don’t let this opportunity pass you by. There’s a reason you were chosen to play Abigail. A reason the perfect role landed in your lap, taking you back home to film for weeks.”
I nodded, praying that she was right. Leaning across the car, I gave her a side hug. “Thanks. I’ll call you when I land.”
She returned the hug then pulled back to look at me. “Ava, you came to Hollywood to follow your dreams. They’re all coming true, but at the end of the day, what are dreams if you’re facing them alone? You miss him. You still love him. He needs to know. And, if in the end, for some insane reason, it doesn’t work out, that’s okay, too. You’ll have closure, and then you can move on.”
Hot tears pricked my eyes. She made it sound so easy when, for all I knew, Tucker was already seeing someone. My stomach twisted up in knots at the idea.
“I will, Tawni,” I promised, hoping that it was a promise I could keep.
The long flight from L.A. to Cincinnati did little to calm my nerves. The snoring man next to me ensured I couldn’t get a wink of sleep, so I had nothing to occupy my mind other than thoughts of Tucker and what Tawni had said.
It was true that I still loved Tucker. That had never changed. Still, I stood by my decision to leave. Trying to make it in Hollywood was hard enough without also trying to maintain a long-distance relationship.
But Tawni’s words echoed in my mind. She was right. Sure, I was living my dream, but I was doing it alone. At the end of the day, I had no one to share it with. But how was I supposed to simply waltz back into Tucker’s life and expect us to pick up where we’d left off? And, even if we did, there was still the fact that I lived in California. He lived in Cincinnati, and from the tiny bits and pieces of information I’d gotten from Mom over the years, he’d been quite successful running Manning Construction.
He’d given his dreams up to raise his little brother.
I’d left him for mine.
Why in the hell would he ever take me back?
All too soon, the landing gear was down and we were making our way to the terminal. As nervous as I was, for both seeing Tucker and taking on such a huge role in a movie, wild exhilaration coursed through me as I took my first step into the Cincinnati airport. It’d been too long since I’d been home, and I missed my family. They’d come out to California a couple of times, but it’d been nearly a year since their last visit. I couldn’t wait to wrap my arms around them, roll my eyes at my parents, and spend time with my little brothers.
I was lost in thought, wondering if I could fit in a couple of baseball games between filming, when I glanced up and my world tilted on its axis. Heck, it abruptly stopped spinning and I came to an abrupt stop right in the middle of the hall because less than ten feet away was Tucker Manning.
My carry-on slipped from my shoulder and crashed to the ground, but I didn’t care. No, all I could do was stare at him, amazed at how life had changed him since that summer we’d spent together.
The five years we’d spent apart had very, very been good to him, and part of me wanted to weep on the spot for having missed out on all that time. Because the Tucker Manning I had fallen in love with? He’d sure grown up.
Gone was the lean eighteen-year-old boy whose lips, if I hadn’t been kissing them, had always been curled in a goofy smile. The boy whose unruly hair had always been mussed up and hanging in his bright-blue eyes. In his place was a man, tall and built, undoubtedly from years of working on construction sites. The image of him in nothing but a tool belt shamelessly arose in my mind. As I studied him from not-so-afar, I realized I’d been fooling myself. The urge to leave my carry-on on the ground, rush across the room, jump into his arms, and pepper his tanned cheeks with kisses was nearly impossible to resist. Seeing Tucker there and then, in the flesh, and how much he’d changed made me realize I’d missed him far more than I’d allowed myself to believe. Now that I was so close to him, I wanted nothing more than to undo the last five years, even if it meant I’d stayed in Cincinnati and never pursued acting. Because I was painfully aware that I’d given up everything that truly mattered to me for a dream that didn’t if he wasn’t by my side.
My elation at my realization was short-lived, because when he slipped his phone into his pocket and lifted his gaze, his eyes immediately landed on me. The smile on his face disappeared, his lips forming a straight line, giving nothing away. The eyes I’d spent hours staring into were now indifferent, as if seeing me hadn’t affected him the way it had affected me.
Balls. This was going to be so much harder than I’d even imagined.
I supposed I deserved it. This impromptu reunion with Tucker couldn’t have happened at a worse time. Or in a worse place, with strangers milling about all around us.
Sucking it up, I picked my bag up and slid it onto my shoulder. I took a deep breath then put one foot in front of the other, closing the distance between us. With the way my heart was racing, I wondered if I was about to have a heart attack. Instead of croaking, however, I made it to him in one piece and gave him a warm smile.
“Tucker, I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
As the words left my mouth, my stomach dropped. What if he was picking up a girlfriend? Oh god, was I about to witness a lover’s reunion instead of getting my own?
“I could say the same.” His voice was huskier, more masculine.
