Page 28 of Words I Couldn't Say
I’D TRIED SO HARD TOkeep the tears at bay, but I could no longer hold them back. As Tucker revealed his truth, his voice gruff and brimming with a range of emotion, my heart felt like it was breaking all over again. The depth of his pain was so raw, so evident, and I’d been the cause of it. At that moment, I hated myself and vowed to make it right again.
Because, even though he’d just revealed why he’d avoided me for so long, he’d also spoken the words I’d needed to hear. The mask of indifference had melted away and shown me the truth. It was enough to know he hadn’t moved on. Or, at least, there was still some part of him that wanted me. I could work with that. Iwouldwork with that.
“Tucker,” I whispered, unbuckling my seat belt and sliding across the cab to be closer to him. To show him hecouldhave what he wanted. To let him known I was still his. I always had been.
The air between us was thick with unspoken tension, unspoken emotion, and all I wanted to do was climb onto his lap, hold him close, and kiss him. Feel those lips against mine once again. To know that I had my best friend, the boy I’d loved, back in my life again.
But that’s not what I got.
He cleared his throat again. “You should go. I’m sure your family’s waiting,” he said.
It was the last thing I wanted to do—leave him with this uneasiness between us. But I wasn’t going to push him if he wasn’t ready. I’d bide my time until he was. So I nodded then, with regret, opened the door and slid out of his truck.
“Thanks for the ride,” I mumbled after grabbing my luggage. I started off towards my home, not allowing myself to look at him for fear he’d see the tears welling in my eyes—this time for him, not the nostalgia of the city. That was it. Our big moment. And I’d been too cowardly to tell him what I’d wanted to say for far too long.
“Hey, Ava?” Tucker called, his soft voice stopping me in his tracks.
When I snuck a peek back at him, he was out of his truck and watching me with an intensity I couldn’t quite read. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he hesitated. Then, with three quick strides, he crossed the yard until he was standing so close I could hardly breathe. A rough hand rose to cup my cheek. I wanted to turn towards his touch, close my eyes, and revel in his nearness. Instead, I stood motionless as his eyes darted back and forth between mine, almost as if he were unsure of himself.
“I just wanted to say… I’m glad you’re home.”
My heart flip-flopped, my stomach joining it. I blinked twice, unsure of what to say. The emotional rollercoaster I’d been on since I’d stepped off the plane had sent my heart into a tailspin, but those four words from Tucker set it right back on course.
“I’m glad, too,” I admitted, because it was the truth. And knowing he was happy to have me here? That meant so much more than he would ever know. It was a step in the right direction, even if it was just a baby one. “Umm, so like I said earlier, I’ll be in town filming for a while. My schedule is going to be pretty intense, but maybe in my downtime, we can spend some time together?”
His lips curved up, forming a magnificently beautiful smile. The first genuine Tucker Manning smile I’d seen in far too long. I was pleased to see that, even though his physique had changed, his adorable dimples were still there, making him look more like the cute boy I’d fallen for.
“I’d like that,” he responded, using one of his thumbs to caress my cheek. “I’d like that a lot.”
Something in his voice had me closing my eyes, rising on my tiptoes, and going in for a kiss, but then the heavens above, in the form of my father, opened up and decided to rain on my parade.
“Ava Victoria Banks, get your pretty little butt over here and give your old man a hug!”
“Yeah, Ava! We’ve been waiting all day for you to get here!” That was my littlest brother, who was probably more excited about my suitcase full of presents than actually having his big sister back in the house.
I groaned in contrast to my dad’s jovial laughter and dropped back down to my feet, the moment having been ruined. “So much for him having a late showing,” I mused, wondering if my dad had set this whole thing up. Knowing my dad, he probablyhadset this whole thing up.
“You’d better go,” Tucker murmured, his hand dropping from my face.
I nodded but made no move away from him.
“If you need me, you know where to find me.”
Impulsively, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight. His arms instinctively enveloped me in a way that made it seemed like we’d spent no time apart. Sure, I’d been back in Cincinnati for nearly an hour, but now, with him holding me, I finally felt like I was home.
“If I come, will the door be open?” I asked softly so only he could hear.
He dipped his head, pressing his lips to my ear. The sensation of his hot breath on my skin sent instant shivers down my spine.
“My door never closed, Little Bird.”
If I hadn’t been firmly planted on the ground, I would’ve tumbled over. Even still, I was rocked to the core when he called me his old, teasing nickname. I was hit with an onslaught of realization, and I wondered how I hadn’t seen it until now. The reason Abigail and Trevor’s story seemed so familiar, and how it had resonated so profoundly with me.
I pulled back, my eyes searching his. “You?”
He hesitated then slowly nodded, his smile contemplative—and maybe, just maybe, a bit playful. “Hasn’t it always been me?”
Before I could respond, he gave my cheek one last brush with his knuckles and then walked towards his house, not looking back, not elaborating, and leaving me there to wonder what all of this could possibly mean.
