Page 37 of Words I Couldn't Say
THE NEXT TWO WEEKS PASSEDin a blur. Between catching up with family, memorizing dialogue, and shooting scenes that didn’t involve Leo, I was stretched thin. Leo’s current project hit a snag, so he was going to be delayed for several weeks. I hadn’t even been scheduled to start for another two weeks, but I’d gotten a call to come in early. The studio was determined to film all the scenes without him—which I hadn’t thought would be all that much since he was the hero of the story. Boy, was I wrong. His absence gave Jonathan a chance to want a new take for every little thing that bugged him, right down to the most minute detail. It was thrilling but exhausting, and it was my shot to prove my worth in the industry.
Because now that I’d wholly immersed myself into the role of Abigail, I agreed with Jonathan. Every single detail mattered.
It was funny. After having read the book countless times, I was still convinced I was Trevor. That Tucker had done some weird role reversal. It almost felt strange to be portraying Abigail when she’d been the wronged party. At the same time, it opened my eyes to the pain I’d caused him. The more I was in her shoes, the more my heart broke for him and what he’d endured all because I had been too scared to risk it all.
Working in small-time television had nothing on being in what was considered a blockbuster film. Even without Leo’s presence, I worked my ass off. Acting isn’t simply reading some lines from a script. It’s costume fittings, blocking, hours in hair and makeup. Even after reading the script what felt like a billion times, I froze many times and had to call for my line.
It was a whirlwind. On other occasions, it was “hurry up and wait.” And that was all before we even got to the true heart of the movie. Even though I’d questioned my goals in Toronto, being on location in Cincinnati reaffirmed my love of acting. I just wasn’t sure if it was because of the rush from finally making it big or the subject matter.
Probably the latter, but I’d still take it.
Since my first night home, I hadn’t had much time to see Tucker. Though I found myself often wanting to, I hadn’t ventured back to the tree house. I thought it might be best if I allowed him space while he got used to the idea of my being back. I figured, if he wanted to see me, he would. I wouldn’t push it.
Except, now that it’d been fourteen days of no contact, I was tired of space. Sure, I was back in Cincinnati to work, but I was also back for another reason.
The boy next door.
No longer could I sit idly by, wondering, waiting. It was time for action. Now, I only had to work up the courage to do something about it.
Earlier in the week, I’d seen a cab pull up to his house and the redhead from the airport exiting. As nosy as I’d wanted to be, I also hadn’t wanted to see the results of her visit, so I’d left the house and ended up at the theater, hoping to get distracted by the story playing out on the screen.
It hadn’t worked. By the time I got home, all I could think about was the mystery girl. I had no idea how long she stayed or the nature of their relationship. I told myself that it was none of my business, that I’d brought this on myself, but that didn’t mean it didn’t sting a little, knowing he hadn’t made a move. Or that perhaps he’d moved on.
After long nights awake in bed, I couldn’t take it any longer. It was clear I had to make the first move. Just like that teenage girl, I hopped out of bed, threw some clothes on, and made my way to his house. As I crossed my yard and entered his, I couldn’t get my mind off the girl. Who was she? Was she there now? Was this a huge mistake? Was I setting myself up for further heartbreak?
All those thoughts ran through my head, planting numerous seeds of doubt. I was standing on his front porch, my fist poised to knock, but I was hesitant.
I’d been holding back for five years, and I was tired of doing so. It was time I pushed my fears aside and followed my heart. Tucker said he’d missed me. That had to count for something. And since that night, I ached with how much I missed him, too.
My heart said knock, so I did. A seemingly endless moment ticked by with no answer, which sent my fluttering nerves into overdrive. I wasn’t sure which was worse: his not being there or his being there but not alone.
Just as I was about to turn and flee, the door opened.
“Ava?” he whispered, yawning and rubbing his eyes. His hair was disheveled, mussed from sleep or something—or someone. “What are you doing here? Is everything all right?”
“Are you alone?” I asked, struggling to see past him.
He blinked, staring at me but not responding.
I figured I had my answer, and not wanting to bear witness to whomever he had over, I started to casually back away. “Sorry. This was a mistake.”
He grabbed my wrist before I made it off the porch and pulled me into him. A hand settled on the small of my back, resting dangerously close to my ass.
“I’m alone, Ava,” he responded, sounding all hot and growly.
“I…I wasn’t sure,” I admitted, feeling foolish. “If you were seeing anyone or…” My words trailed off when his lips came to my neck.
He peppered kisses along my skin until his lips hovered above my ear. “There’s no one else, Ava,” he whispered. “There’sneverbeen anyone else for me.”
I pulled back, blinking slowly as his words sank in. “No one? You mean…”
He nodded. “That’sexactlywhat I mean.”
