Page 38 of Words I Couldn't Say
My hand came to my lips. “Oh my god. Five years? You’ve never been with a woman?”
“I’d wait longer if I had to,” he said. Then his lips crashed onto mine.
We devoured each other, making up for lost time as our tongues dueled, waging battle for dominance. His was winning, and I gave my submission, allowing him to take control. It was oh so good. Oh so right. Oh so utterly perfect. This was the homecoming I’d been waiting for. Hope gave way to happiness. It was a kiss that told me everything would be okay.
Until he tore his lips from mine and muttered a curse under his breath, but it was loud enough for me to hear.
It was in the silence between us that reality sank in. I hadn’t known just how much I’d missed him until I was standing on that doorstep, my lips swollen from his kisses, my heart aching at how much time we’d lost.
I’d never hated myself more.
And the way he pushed away from me, I knew the truth. He felt the same. I’d done too much. Gone too far. I’d broken us, a bond that had lasted years, all because I had been too stubborn, too stupid. Too much of a coward to be with him through thick and thin.
Those kisses, though. Those kisses had told me that he still felt something, and he felt it deep. I just had to find a way to coax it out of him. To show him that I felt just as deep.
I never got the chance.
Sadness clouded his features as he roughly ran his palm through the dark hair I’d been missing for years. Just as I was about to tell him as much, he exhaled sharply, slightly shaking his head. When his eyes met mine and I saw the regret in them, my heart sank to the pit of my stomach.
“This isn’t a good idea,” he whispered. “This won’t work. It can’t.”
The bottom of the pit fell out and my stomach plummeted even farther.
“Why not?” I asked even though I knew he was right and why. But that didn’t stop me. Being back there with him had reminded me of what I’d left behind, and I wanted it back. I wanted him back, even if for a short while. I realized how selfish that sounded. I didn’t care.
“Because I know you, Ava. At the end of this, whatever this even is, you’ll leave. That’s what you do.”
My lips parted so I could protest, but he stepped back from me and all words escaped at the sight of him retreating.
“You already broke my heart once. I’m not giving you the chance to do it again.”
This time, he got in the last word. And, as Tucker walked away, back into his home, I suddenly realized the truth.
I hadn’t only broken Tucker’s heart. I’d broken my own.
He was doing his damnedest not to let me back in. But, unlike before, I wasn’t giving up without a fight.
I wasn’t giving up at all. I’d seen the indecision on his face. He wanted to let me back in. I knew it. He just didn’t trust me. It was something I’d have to prove over time, and I would earn it again. But right now? I wanted him. He’d waited for me and that had to count for something. He’d waited long enough.
As I stared at his retreating back, I decided that it was time to fight dirty.
“Tucker Manning, if you don’t take me upstairs and finish what you started five years ago, then I’ll find someone who will.”
He whirled around so fast I felt the air whoosh around me. The feral heat that flashed in his eyes sent arousal coursing through my veins. It was an empty threat, but by the look on Tucker’s fuming face, it had worked. And thank goodness for it, because just like I was it for him, I knew there would never be anyone else for me.
This time, I was the one walking away. Except, for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why the hell I was doing it. This was exactly what I wanted. This was exactly what I’d been waiting for. The past two weeks had been torture—wanting to go to her, yet wanting her to make that first, pivotal move.
And, now that she was there, ready to pick back up where we’d left off, why the hell was I pushing her away? Was I scared of losing myself in her again only for her to leave? Probably. Did I care?
A resounding no was my answer. The risk was worth it. She was worth it. Ava Banks was the only woman for me and I’d already lost her once. It wouldn’t happen again. I had to win her heart back, once and for all. Fear be damned.
Just as I was about to step forward and claim my woman, she beat me to the punch. Ava whirled around, her blond hair messy and wild, a welcome reminder of our passionate kisses. Her eyes flashed with wicked intent as she gave the cruelest of threats.
“Tucker Manning, if you don’t take me upstairs and finish what you started five years ago, then I’ll find someone who will.”
Those final five words awoke something feral inside me. My want to claim her heart immediately transformed into a fundamental need to claim her body as well.
