Page 42 of Words I Couldn't Say
WHILE LYING IN BED, WRAPPEDup in tangled sheets and Tucker’s arms, I’d never experienced such unabashed joy. Such bliss. My heart threatened to burst with the happiness from finally having given all of myself to Tucker. This was what I’d waited for. At the same time, I couldn’t believe this was what I’d been missing. He had been a virgin, and while it hadn’t lasted all that long, it had single-handedly been the most incredible experience of my life. Even though he hadn’t known I was just as pure, he’d warmed me up enough that I’d only felt slight pain. Pain that had been rapidly replaced with pleasure as he made slow, sweet love to me.
“We seriously should have done that five years ago,” I sighed, inhaling his masculine scent and taking it all in. Taking him all in.
He laughed then rose from the bed to clean up. With gentle fingers, he took care of himself and then sweetly did the same for me. When he slipped a pair of boxers on and left the room, I slid his T-shirt over my head and followed him to the kitchen, where he proceeded to put a kettle on the stove. His back muscles rippled with each movement, and my mouth watered. I wanted my hands to explore each hard line and plane. The next time we were naked in his bed, I’d get my chance to do just that.
As I watched him, I found myself unable to believe that my hands were the only ones that’d ever touched him intimately.
“I can’t believe you were a virgin,” I blurted. Then my face reddened at how abrupt I’d been.
He grinned over the top of his mug. “I can’t believe I lasted as long as I did the first time. But be careful, baby, because I have a feeling you unleashed an animal tonight,” he joked, winking at me.
Like I’d ever complain about that.
I fidgeted with the hem of his T-shirt. “I, umm…” Embarrassment flooded my cheeks, causing them to flush, and not from what we’d just done. Or the implication that we’d be doing it again.
God, I hoped so. Now that we’d been together, I wanted to be together over and over again.
He was my first. And I was his. I couldn’t believe it.
This amazing, gorgeous man had been a virgin until half an hour ago. He’d waited for me. He’d had enough faith that we’d find our way back to each other, and he’d stayed devoted to me the entire time we had been apart. That spoke volumes. Then and there, I was so proud I’d saved myself for him, too.
The thought had tears filling my eyes. All of this time, all of this distance, and we’d still loved each other enough to wait.
“Ava, come here,” he said, holding his arm out.
Without hesitation, I crossed the kitchen and sat on his lap. His arm wrapped around my waist while his other hand cupped my chin, forcing me to look at him. His blue eyes captured me.
“It doesn’t matter that I wasn’t your first. It wouldn’t matter if I weren’t your second, third, fourth, fifth, or whatever.”
I blinked back tears. “What?”
His lips curved up into the sweetest smile. “Really. I promise. The only thing that matters to me…is that I’m your last.”
I realized then he’d misinterpreted my tears. I laughed, leaning in to place a kiss on his lips. “No, Tucker. I’ve never… You were my first.”
His eyes widened. “Ava, God…I had no idea. Oh, Jesus, did I hurt you?” he asked in a panicked tone.
“No! You were perfect. It was perfect. And I think you may have unleashed my own beast,” I told him, winking.
He grinned then wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his forehead to mine. “The fact that we both waited for each other astounds me. Nothing’s changed. I meant what I said on Prom Night. I want to be your first and your last.”
“What are you saying?” I asked, searching his eyes.
“You’re back here, Ava. I don’t know for how long I have you, but I want to spend the time that I do with you. Like this. Getting to know you, the woman, and falling for her, just as I did the girl.”
“I want that, too. And, Tucker, when the film is over—”
He held a finger to my lips. “I don’t want to talk about the future. I don’t want to talk about the past. I just want to be here, in the present, with you. We’ll deal with everything else later.”
As much as I wanted to argue, I couldn’t. I refused to put a damper on the night we’d just spent together. So, instead, I leaned forward, captured his lips, and enjoyed the present with Tucker, all the while silently vowing to myself that I’d make him trust me again. I’d get him to fall in love with me all over again. And, in the end, we’d be together.
No matter what it took. Because I wanted what Tucker had offered. For him to be my last.
