Page 47 of Words I Couldn't Say
Somehow, I escaped the chaos that was my family on spaghetti night. It probably had something to do with Pacey accidentally dumping the entire strainer full of noodles on the floor. Not that anyone could be mad at him. He had only been trying to help Mom, something he’d been doing since he’d started first grade and felt like the big man around the house. Something that was equal parts hilarious and adorable considering he was the littlest guy there.
So, instead, the rest of the family ventured out for LaRosa’s, while I stayed behind to finish memorizing lines. Mom promised to bring me back a few slices of their incredible pizza as long I pledged to keep Pacey out of the kitchen on next week’s family dinner night.
With a glass of red wine and my script, I settled in on the deck, enjoying the cool autumn air. I tried—and failed miserably—not to stare longingly at Tucker’s house, but it was completely dark. His truck wasn’t in the drive, and after having watched my phone for hours, willing it to ring, I realized I hadn’t given him my number. I also didn’t know his—which I would quickly remedy.
Just as I was about to leave a note on his front door, my phone rang, causing me to jump. My heart skipped a beat, and I wondered if he’d somehow gotten my number. But it was Tawni.
“Hey!” I answered, out of breath and with a little too much enthusiasm. I hastily scrawled my number on a sticky note and used my thumb to press it on his door before I dashed down the steps and hightailed it back to my parents’ backyard.
“Okay, spill it, girlfriend,” she said, not even bothering to greet me.
“Spill what?” I asked, wincing when my voice squeaked.
“Ava,” she warned.
That was it. Tawni knew me better than anyone, and there was no keeping this from her. So I spilled, telling herevery single thing. People say you shouldn’t kiss and tell, and that’s probably true, but I couldn’t help myself. Of course, while I kept the most intimate details to myself, she certainly got the gist.
When I was done, she released a wistful sigh. “A virgin? Waiting for you? God, that’s so romantic. So, is this it? Is the beautiful Ava Banks off the market once and for all?”
I sighed. “No. As of now, we’re just going to be friends with benefits.”
Tawni huff was indignant, so I was quick to explain.
“He’s playing hard to get, guarding his heart until he can trust me again.”
“God, that’s exactly what Abby did. Talk about life imitating art. Man, Ava, it’s like you really were made for this role.”
She had me there. If she only knew. It was kind of funny how Tawni kept referring to Tucker and me as Trevor and Abby when, essentially, we were—with the roles reserved, of course. Not that I’d spill those beans. The last thing I wanted to do was betray Tucker’s trust when I was working to win it back. Still, it blew my mind that he’d written this incredibly poignant masterpiece—even more so that he’d done it with me, with us, in mind.
Tawni and I chatted for a little while longer before I claimed I needed to study my lines and ended the call. The truth was that I’d read it so many times that I could recite them blindfolded. And still, with every single read through, I would find some new hidden meaning behind his words.
Tears were streaming down my face when I closed the manuscript. Even though I was well aware of Trevor’s demise, it was never easier to read those final words. Abigail’s anguish pierced my soul. The message in the story was beautiful. We never know how much time we have, so instead of pushing the ones you love away, hold on to them for dear life. That’s exactly what I planned to do with Tucker. I didn’t want to waste another second without him in my life. God forbid something happened to either of us. I had to know I’d made the most of our time together.
I was wiping my eyes when my phone vibrated. It was from an unknown number, but as soon as I read the text, I knew exactly who it was from.
Unknown: So if we’re friends with benefits, does this mean I can officially become a booty call, too?
The laughter the message brought on was exactly what I needed. I’d been so engrossed in what I was reading that I hadn’t even seen him come home.
I swiftly typed my response.
Me: Why do you think I left my number on your door?
Unknown: Get your ass over here.
When I glanced up at my house, it was completely dark. Earlier, Mom had delivered on her promise with some delicious pizza before giving me a kiss on the cheek and heading inside for movie night. Eager as ever to get to Tucker, I tiptoed inside and checked in on my brothers. All was quiet with them. I started to head down the hall towards my parents’ room, but I stopped myself. The absolute last thing I wanted to do was press my ear against their door. Instead, I crossed my fingers in hopes they were either asleep or far too distracted to hear my departure.
Tucker was waiting for me at the front door. I’d barely gotten out a hello before he hauled me against his chest and captured my lips, kissing me senseless. Neither of us spoke a word as he led me to his bedroom, stripped me naked, then made love to me until the early hours of the morning.
This, apparently, was our new normal.
I’d take it.
For now.
