Page 3 of Conflict
Oh yes, hismother.
Now, I’m no snob. There’s nothing wrong with a twenty-something-year-old dude living his with his parents while trying to make it big with his band. I get it. That’s cool. It worked out for many recording artists. My problem was that when dear old mom walked in, she didn’t freak out. She didn’t scream. No, mama bear sat down next to us on the couch, picked up the remote, and started flipping through channels until she got to the Bravo channel. Then she settled in to watch theReal Housewivesof whatever freaking city.
All while her son’s tongue was spelunking in my vagina.
I mean, it’s kinda hard to reach the big O when the guy’s mother is rattling off questions like, “Which housewife is your favorite? Oh my God, did you see what Tamra said about Vicki? Do you think Slade’s as big of a dirtball as they say? I don’t know. I think he got a bad rap with Gretchen.”
The worst part? Ryan didn’t even notice. Or if he did, he didn’t care.
Me on the other hand? I was mortified. I mean, who wants to think about sleazy Slade when she’s trying to have an orgasm?! If my clit were a cock, it would’ve deflated until it was inverse inside me. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough, and my vagina has never been the same.
Sure, there were guys in between. And some after Ryan. But nothing ever came to fruition. It was as if the universe was saying,Uh uh, girl. Not today. No wang for you.So, instead, I threw myself into my school work and my internship and haven’t looked back. Until maybe now. Since I’m no longer juggling school and work, perhaps it’s time to put myself out there again.
So here I am, a twenty-five-year-old virgin who just finished her master’s program, and I’m headed to the beach for a week of sun, sand…and hopefully a freaking home run. After all, Lexididlose her own V-card at the beach, and she’s now happily married to the man who took it, with a baby girl to round out their happy family.
Who says I won’t have the same kind of luck?
Or hell, at least a little bit of fun.
