Page 56 of Conception
“I can’t believe I stayed away from them for so long. The past few years have been…difficult, and my much-needed therapy was right here all along.”
Knox squeezes my hand. “You’re a part of that, too, you know.”
“I was.” I sigh. “I know I still am. Coming back here… It’s like I never left. Still, I can’t help but regret everything I missed during the years I stayed away. I just… I couldn’t come back here, yet it may have been the best thing I could have done. Not that I can change it now.”
“You know you can talk to me. About anything. Anytime. My mom may not always agree, but I’m a pretty damn good listener.”
I’m not ready. I don’t know why, but I’m just not. So I force a grin onto my face and like any good woman, turn it around on him. “Yeah, well, I could say the same about you. It’s been nearly six weeks and I feel like I’m still learning who you are. So, who are you? I’ve had glimpses of sweet you, growly you, respectful you, manhandling you. Not that I’m complaining of course.” I bump his shoulder with mine in a playful manner. “I like all those versions of you. But when I think back on it, Clay kind of made you sound like a stick in the mud.”
Knox runs his free hand through rumpled hair that’s grown since I met him. It gives him more of a boyish, devil-may-care look, and I absolutely adore it. “I don’t really know, Amelia. I mean, I’m only twenty-two. So I guess I’m still trying to figure that out.”
“Makes sense to me. I guess I’m still in the same boat,” I tell him, toying with my bottom lip. I still haven’t told him all the details about that fateful night when my parents died, and he hasn’t asked. The more I get to know him, the more I let him in, the more I believe he’s the one person I could confide in and he’d understand.
So, what’s holding me back?
“And as for Clay, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. When we’re back home, his head’s so far up his girlfriend’s ass he can’t possibly know what’s going on in my life.”
“Oh, right. Maria. The girl he plans on proposing to?”
Knox scoffs. “Apparently. Twenty years old and he’s already ready to settle down? Sounds crazy to me.”
“I mean, I’m not planning on settling down for a good long while, but who’s to say she isn’t his one? If he loves her enough to truly know, who are we to judge?”
He just grunts, and I know that nothing I say will convince him.
“What about you? What about your future?”
He stops so abruptly that I nearly stumble into his back. And when he doesn’t meet my eyes, I realize he totally misunderstood my question. I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry at how damn uncomfortable he looks. If I were to think we’ve made progress towards something beyond the summer, that one look lets me know I’d be sorely mistaken. Better to get used to that now rather than hope the rest of the summer. I probably just dodged a huge bullet straight to my heart come September.
“Oh my god, Knox. Notourfuture. Yours!” I push his shoulder back and place my hand on my hips. “You should see the look on your face right now. You’re white as a ghost, and since you’ve become some kind of Greek deity in this Tennessee sun, that’s saying something.”
A little color returns to his cheeks. He stalks towards me with a devilish gleam in his eyes, and I squeal, racing across the sand, doing my best to keep away from him. “A Greek god, you say?”
“Something like that!” I shout.
All I hear is answering silence. I pause my retreat and see that Knox is no longer following me. Instead, he’s stripping underneath the nearly full moon, showing off all his naked glory. I scan the shore, hoping we’re alone. That body is for my eyes only.
It doesn’t escape my notice that he’s using his body to ignore my question. I don’t mind. Okay, I’m lying to myself if I say that. I know we’re just a fling, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. And friends talk. So, even though my mouth waters at the way the moon highlights the hard planes of his chest, I vow that we’re talking tonight, not screwing.
Doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy the show first though.
Knox inches into the water then turns towards me, revealing all his naked glory. “You gonna just let me do this by myself or are you comin’ in?” he hollers.
I cross my arms over my chest. “It’s dark as hell and you don’t know what’s in that water.”
“Probably no ball-choppin’ serial killer.”
I snort and shake my head. “Not doin’ it.”
“Hmm… What was it Sunny told me a few weeks ago? You can never turn down a—”
“Don’t you—” I interrupt.
“Dare!” we say in unison.
I’m not sure if he can see my glare in the dark, but it’s burning through him right now.
“You’re such an ass,” I mutter, which only causes him to snicker.
