Page 85 of Conception
“Even if it is going to be a rental, that doesn’t mean he couldn’t come back, even for a weekend.”
She’s got a point.
She leans across the bar and squeezes my hand. “You can’t give up hope. Even if it feels impossible.”
It’s at this moment that Sam sidles up to the bar and drops down on the stool next to me. “You come here often, babe?” he asks, lowering his voice by two octaves.
Thankful for the distraction, I twist to face him. “What’s the matter, Sam? Striking out with the blonde over there?” I ask, lifting my chin and gesturing to the girl he was flirting with earlier.
“Boyfriend back home. Not interested,” he sighs then shrugs. “No harm. I’d rather spent my night with my best girl anyways.”
If Sunny’s been a constant at my side, Sam’s a close second. I didn’t disclose to Sam or Joe what happened between Knox and me—or that I had feelings for him. But if Sunny’s to be believed, everyone knew it except for us. Sam’s taken it upon himself to become a one-man cheering up squad. I think their plan is to continually distract me until I’m over the guy.
The distracting part works during the day. It’s at night when I miss him, crave him the most.
Still, I have a fonder appreciation for Sam after these past few weeks. And I tell him.
“I don’t want to get all mushy or anything, but I just want you to know you’ve really been a rock. The three of you have been, and I’m an ass for staying away for so long.”
His boyish grin fades just a bit. “It’s all right, Meems. We all understood. Just… Just don’t go disappearin’ on us again, capisce?”
“I won’t, Sam. I promise.”
He shoulder-checks me and tosses me a teasing grin. “If you ever get lonely, you know where to find me. There’s nothin’ wrong with a one-way ticket to pound town, if ya know what I mean,” he drawls, wiggling his eyebrows.
I lean over and ruffle his already rumpled dark hair. “Sorry, buddy. You’re gonna have to punch your ticket elsewhere.”
He shrugs and gives me a wink. “It was worth a shot.”
Zombies’ “Time of the Season” comes over the jukebox and I laugh as Sam hops up from the bar. I swivel to watch the way he wiggles his hips and shimmies along with the beat. His moves rival those of Prince, and part of me wishes we had chemistry. A rebound would make this all so much easier.
Then again, that’s what Knox was supposed to be and look how that turned out.
“Come on, Meems! Don’t leave me hangin’ out here all on my own. I feel the rhythm and I’ve got to move!” He holds a hand out, wanting a dance partner, shakin’ his ass along with the beat.
Sunny’s shaking her head and giggling. “Wanna wallow in your self-pity, or do you wanna help the poor sap out?”
Sunny’s dealing out all the sage advice tonight, and I find I want to listen. I leap from my stool and sashay into Sam’s outstretched, awaiting arms. It’s not the same. It’s not Knox.
But it won’t ever be again.
Might as well get used to it.
Sunny and I make the drive to Knoxville the day before the concert. It’s the first time I’ve been back to my apartment this summer. It feels like a lifetime ago that I left. I tell her I have to run a couple of errands, and she doesn’t mind staying at my apartment while I’m gone.
When I return, Sunny holds up a pair of sweatpants with an eyebrow raised. I laugh. Genuinely laugh. I haven’t done that since Knox left, and I wonder if maybe I’m healing.
“Oh my god. Those are Robert’s.” I roll my eyes and snatch them from her grasp. “I should probably search the place for any other mementos he may have left.”
“I wasn’t snooping,” she says, and I give her a pointed look. “Fine, you caught me. There’s a photo of you two on your nightstand. Girl, gotta tell you, he’s nothing like Knox.”
My insides twist. Okay, so maybe healing is a little ways off. “I’m pretty sure that’s why I was attracted so quickly.”
Sunny nibbles on her lower lip. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought him up.”
I smile and wave the thought away. “It’s fine. It happened. If I pretend it didn’t, I lose all the memories. I can be sad it’s over while still appreciating the experience.”
“That’s a good way of looking at it.”
