Page 20 of Culmination
I know it’s stupid to have run out on him. But after his bitter accusation, I couldn’t stay cooped up in that hotel room any longer. This is my life we’re talking about. My baby’s life. I’m not going to just sit around and wait for everything to come to a head. I’m tired, so damn tired, of the lack of answers. I thought, if I just got some fresh air and space from Rafe so I could regroup, I’d be fine.
It’s not enough. I know what I have to do.
Stepping off the edge of the curb, I hail a cab—more quickly than I recall being able to do when I came to the city with my parents. When the driver asks where to, I pull out the card Adrian gave me. I trace the words for a moment with my fingers, wondering if I’m doing the right thing, but eventually, I answer.
“Our Lady of Sorrows Basilica, please.”
My throat’s tight as we make the drive towards the housing place of the national shrine of Saint Peregrine, the patron saint of cancer. I wonder why Adrian chose this location. Did he know about my father’s love affair with the architecture? We rarely made trips to the city without him paying homage to the beautiful Italian Renaissance–styled structure. Mom and I didn’t mind. In fact, we found the beautiful, ornate sanctuary to be like its own museum, with artwork for us to study all over.
Fond memories rush through me. While I’ll always feel the loss of them, perhaps time and distance have made it easier to relive some of my happiest memories with my parents.
The fact that he chose this place only further cements that Adrian really did know everything about me before we met that day in Philadelphia. The realization casts shivers through me. I rub my hands together, trying to push the chill away, but it’s no use. I have the urge to ask the driver to turn around. But I stop myself, knowing I need answers only Adrian can give me. Mustering up all my courage, I stare out the window, watching the city pass us by as we get closer to our destination.
After the cabbie drops me off, I take a few steps back, drinking it all in, the sight before me. Steeling my nerves, I cross the street and jog up the steps to the church. My heart falters when I see a sign indicating it’s closed for the day. Undeterred, I try for the door anyway. Surprisingly, it pushes open.
With hesitation, I walk inside, the door slamming shut behind me. I jump then glance around, praying I didn’t disturb any kneeling parishioners. The sanctuary is empty, so I stroll up to the front of the church and take a seat in the front pew. Eerie silence fills the cavernous room, and I wait, forcing my restless leg to stay still.
I feel his presence before he sits behind me. Warm breath tickles my ear as he whispers to me. I close my eyes for a brief moment, transported back to the first time his breath torched my skin.
“Gabriella. My sweet, sweet Gabriella. You came.”
Opening my eyes, I turn and see Adrian’s face lit up in a bright smile. It’s the same smile that made me fall in love with him in the first place.
“And a day early at that. Eager to see me, sweetheart?”
His teasing sends a strange sensation over my heart. This playful side of him has been hidden away from me for so long; it hurts to see it unmasked when it’s too late for us. The weight of what I had and lost weighs painfully heavily on my chest, and at the same time, it’s more foreign than ever. As if I’ve forgotten this side of him and it no longer affects me the way it used to, even though part of me feels like it should. I’m no longer enticed by it. Instead, I’m sad for everything we’ve lost. Everything we could’ve been. Everything we’ll never be again.
And the words rush out before I can stop them.
“You need to know, Adrian, I’m not here to fix things with you. You and me? We’re just… We’re not meant to be. I’ve learned I don’t want to be a kept woman, and the sooner you understand that, the better,” I tell him, deciding to just rip the bandage off and get this over with.
He gives me a warm smile, almost as if he finds me a foolish child who will eventually come around to his ways. “But you were so brilliant at it. The role suits you. When you were mine—”
I cut him off. “I am no longer yours. Nor will I ever be again. I’m sorry if that hurts you, Adrian. It’s the truth you have to accept.”
Adrian sits back against the pew, his hand rubbing at his chin before settling his green eyes on mine. “For the moment, perhaps not. But make no mistake, Gabriella, I willalwaysfight for what is mine.”
I shake my head, scoffing at his words. “No. No! It’s too late for us. Can’t you see that? Too much has happened. There’s too much between us we’d never be able to repair.”
Undeterred, he lays a tan, muscular arm across the back of the pew as if he has all the time in the world for this conversation. Hell, he almost looks like this is fun for him. Until I see the tension in his jaw as his eyes penetrate my gaze.
“Gabriella, darling. Please. You underestimate my determination. My devotion. My love. For you and only ever you.”
I close my eyes at the uninvited thrill the words send tingling up my spine. This is what I wanted to hear for so long. I thought I was done, but being here with Adrian now, it’s like he’s reeling me back in, as if he’d never hurt me. As if he hadn’t treated me like I was nothing. Just his whore to be used when he wanted. And discarded when he didn’t.
He’s the snake in the garden, offering the forbidden apple with enticing words of love and longing, and I’m the desperate woman far too eager to take a bite. Damn the consequences.
I sigh, unsure of how to respond, of how I even want to respond, but then he suddenly changes tactics. He leans forward, his hand coming up to the bandage on my head. He brushes my hair back and my skin sizzles at the contact.
“I’m glad to see you came to your senses and saw a doctor,” he says.
My eyebrows furrow. “I couldn’t really send the woman away without her thinking I was a crazy pregnant woman, could I?”
His steady hand cups my jaw, and it takes everything within me not to turn into his touch. This is him. This is what he does. Lulls you into a false sense of security, of love, then rips it out from under you when you least expect it.
“What are you talking about, Gabriella?”
“The doctor,” I whisper, suddenly remembering what she said. “I thought you’d sent her, but…”
