Page 31 of Culmination
It was fucking hell. Standing just inside Adrian’s apartment, watching him with her, nearly killed me. When he held her face in his hands so fucking tenderly, I almost lost it. My inner beast threatened to burst in and rip him away from her. Tempting images of tearing those arms from his body flashed through my mind. But the moment I calmed down was the moment he tried to get her to believe I was like him. A liar, using her for his own gain.
I knew the truth, and when Brie told him everything, I knew I had nothing to worry about. She wasn’t his. Not any longer. She was mine, and if she needed this closure with him, I’d give it to her. Not that it was easy.
When he started for the door, I ducked out into the hallway leading towards his apartment, thankful for the community board on the wall highlighting all the upcoming events residents could take part in.
It was hard not to glance at the man. Once he’d closed the door behind him, he braced his hands on both sides of the doorframe, his forehead falling to the door. Then his shoulders rose and fell several times before he whispered an expletive.
Anyone would’ve felt bad for the guy. It was evident, even from his side profile, that he was in pain. And knowing what I knew now? Knowing who he was, what he’d lost, and having gotten a small snippet of how his life had been dictated and manipulated from such a young age, I had the urge to reach out.
But I couldn’t. Adrian doesn’t know about me. Who I am to him. To Theo. He couldn’t know about. That was a complication I was so not ready for, especially since I didn’t even know how to tell Brie.
It killed me, but I waited outside in the hall for nearly half an hour before going in to find her. Part of me did it because I wasn’t sure if he’d try to return. The other knew, deep down, she needed time to process. The last thing she needed was me barging in, demanding answers.
So, when I finally entered the room and saw her sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, her face pale and beautiful, I cursed under my breath. It was apparent she was feeling the loss, and I could be that guy, the one who gets jealous, who demands she love only me, but the truth is I’m not.
Okay, I am, but I’m also the one she chose. The one she’s going to spend the rest of her life with. So, if she needed to spend some time getting closure on her past so we can move forward with our future, I had no problem giving that to her.
I know I chose wisely when her somber eyes met mine. The turned-down corners of her lips lifted at the sight of me, and I crossed the room in three quick strides before extending my hand out to her, desperate for her touch.
It’d only been two fucking hours, but they’d been hell on me. I needed to feel her touch, hold her close, tell her that everything is going to be okay. Because I believe that now. Adrian’s gone. One roadblock down.
Now, we just have his fucking father to deal with.
I’m not claiming the man as my own. Cameron Matthews is the only father I’ve ever known. The only one I’ll ever claim. Blood or not, he was the best thing to ever happen to me. Same with the mother who raised me. They both made me the man I am today, and I will never allow someone to come along thirty-some years later to try to take their place.
Yet I feel a little pain in my heart as I remember the woman who came to my door. My birth mother, if she’s to be believed. And I wouldn’t have believed her if it hadn’t been for the fact that staring into her face was like staring into a mirror. There was no mistaking I was her son, no matter how much I longed to deny it.
Hell, it’s not like I’m surprised there’s another twist in this fucked-up story of my life.
I just hope the damn surprises finally stop coming.
LARGE HANDS SLIDE AROUNDmy waist until they’re settled on my belly. I shiver when the stubble of Rafe’s five-o’clock shadow scratches the curve of my neck and then once again when his breath tickles my ear. Today has been such a whirlwind, and all I want to do now is put it behind me.
After my talk with Adrian, a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders. I only hope he finds the happiness he deserves. Even though I know Theo’s out there, and after learning about Adrian’s mother, I’m not allowing him to ruin my time here. Danger may be lurking on every corner, but I trust Rafe to keep me safe. And now that I no longer have to worry about Adrian, we can get back to unlocking my father’s secrets.
Warm breath tickles my skin and I shiver accordingly. Part of me felt guilty for the emotion and confusion I felt with Adrian earlier, but now that I’m here with Rafe, I know what it was.
I had to feel it to truly let it go. That sounds dumb, I know, but I’d have been lying to both Adrian and myself if I hadn’t been true about the way he made me feel. It’s just, in doing so, I realized that what I feel for Rafe is so much more powerful. So much more potent.
I loved Adrian; I love Rafe. I have no doubt in my heart I made the right decision.
My only hope is that Adrian, one day soon, will find the woman made for him. He’ll realize that, while we had something I’ll always consider memorable, we just weren’t the right fit. I wasn’t the woman he needed any more than he was the man for me. It’s a relief knowing that, and I pray it will be for him as well.
Rafe’s thumbs rub soothing circles on my skin, bringing me back to the moment. Bringing me back to him.
“I remember the first time I saw you. It was on a night just like this. You were standing at the kitchen counter, all pale and beautiful, begging for me to get a closer look. Looking sad. Lost. And without even knowing you, I knew, deep down in my soul, you were mine. I’d have gone to the ends of the Earth to wipe that frown off your face, and I spent weeks making it my mission to do so.”
“Rafe—” I whisper, but he cuts me off.
“Right now? I see that same look. You may be smiling, but don’t forget: I know you. I can tell the difference, and right now, you’re not happy. So tell me, baby. What’s bothering you?”
I briefly close my eyes before turning in his arms and gazing up into adoring, albeit concerned, eyes. A reassuring smile curves my lips, and I hate that my thoughts gave way on my expression, which caused him to worry. “It’s nothing, Rafe. I promise. I can honestly say I’m happy. Just like that night we first met, when you made everything in my world okay, now that you’re here, nothing could possibly be wrong.”
As soon as the words slip from my mouth, I know I’ve just put a kink in our happiness. By throwing those words out into the universe, I all but invited disaster to ensure. But instead of dwelling on it, I slide my hands around to the curve of his ass, pulling his hardness against me.
“And it’s only been since that night that I’ve finally felt safe.”
Cobalt eyes gaze down at me, swirling, dark and stormy. They’re always like the sea, regardless of his emotion. Sometimes they’re calm and I feel as steady as the still waters. Other times, like now, they are full of turmoil, wave after wave crashing and landing blow after blow until I lose myself in their depths.
